Forbidden Whispers
by LeontillyBalambgirl
Summary: [SXR]AU.A love so passionate it should not be kept secret becomes a secret so dangerous it could cost them everything.Rinoa is royalty, Squall is not.they were never meant to fall in love...but the heart wants what it wants, no matter how forbidden it is
1. The lonely princess

**Disclaimer: I don't own Final fantasy 8. Shame really.**

**A/N: ok, well I know I have other stories on the go, but I wanted to post the first chapter of this to see how the response goes. Plus don't worry I will not be neglecting any of them, they will all get updated regularly. **

**Well okay, I didn't give the best of summaries, so here is a bit of a better one . This is supposed to be set in kind of medieval times. Rinoa is a princess and Squall works in her castle as a guard of sorts. And well this is all about them and what happens between the two of them (which is a little predictable, because hey it's Squinoa) and the consequences of their secrets.. Would love feedback on this chapter, let me know if your interested in reading more, thanks xx**

**All right it starts a little randomly, it starts with a scene and then the main part of the story is told kind of as a flashback, as a reflection on how it reached the point it is at in the first few lines, then later it carries on from there. I made it sound more confusing than it is! But don't worry about all that just read and enjoy xx thanks guys : ) xx**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

He was to be hung at sunset. And it was almost sunset.

The sinking sun was casting an uneasy orange glow through the bars across the window of the tiny dank cell. The young raven haired girl occupying the cell sat huddled in the corner against the wall, tears stinging at her eyes and her sobs echoing against the empty stone walls. Her dress, although originally luxurious was now grubby and torn and her pale skin was dirty. She wiped at her tears with the velvet sleeves as she rocked back and forwards, teardrops splashing on the cold, hard floor.

"Why?" she whispered to herself "why did it turn out this way? It is not fair. Squall…why cant I be with you?"

She didn't belong in that cell and she knew it. And he didn't deserve to be hung, he had done nothing wrong. Love wasn't a crime, and yet he was being punished like it was the most criminal of all offences on earth. Love was something that could not be restrained, could not be held back and could not be controlled. Neither of them had planned to fall in love. But like so many things, the changing of the seasons and the night passing into day, it had just happened….

. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a loud knocking at the door

"permission to enter?" a voice called from one side of it

"of course" answered the young woman sitting in the lavishly decorated room on the other side "please come in".

The door opened and four men walked in, each behind the other in a neat line. When they were a certain distance from the young woman they spread into a perfectly formed horizontal line and in unison they bowed. After this, one of the young men stepped from the line.

"Good morning Princess Rinoa, I trust all is well?", said the tall, broad shouldered blonde.

"yes, thank you Sir Almasy. Everything is fine. Have you anything to report to me?"

"Not yet, it is early. But as usual, we shall report to you each hour."

"I do not see that to be necessary, could not you just report to me if there is an occurrence worth reporting upon?". The young Princess asked. One of the things Rinoa hated most was guards coming every hour to tell her that nothing was happening. She did not entirely see the point

"No. you know that not only are we reporting to you, we are checking your well being. You know it is your fathers wish that we keep a close eye on you"

Sir Seifer Almasy was a close friend of Rinoas father, King Caraway and thus had been appointed as the head of the Guard at Rinoas small castle. The Princess was not particularly fond of Seifer, he seemed only to treat her with the absolute minimum respect necessary and he treated the guards he commanded with much, much less. As the head of the guards, Seifers duty was to gather reports from the other guards and then report to Rinoa. However -in what Rinoa perceived to be his arrogance- he could rarely be bothered and usually sent one of the lesser guards to do it for him.

"Very well" Rinoa sighed.

Seifer nodded, then turned to the other guards and dismissed them before leaving himself.

Rinoa watched them leave and sat silently for a moment. Her life was very lonely. Her father, the King of Galbadia, owned numerous large estates and Rinoa lived in one of them. It was a large, grand castle-like house with well over 30 rooms, yet very few people lived there. There was of course Rinoa, two ladies maids, a few cleaners and cooks and then the four Guards and that was all.

Rinoa saw her ladies maids a few hours each evening-as during the day she allowed them to go out to the town to spend time with there real families. She thought this was much fairer, and it benefited her too. Being in hollow company was not Rinoas favourite thing and that was clearly all it was. These two women, though kindly, did not really know Rinoa, or care for her as a person, only as a princess. So aside form those few hours each evening and a fleeting visit from a guard every hour, Rinoa spent majority of her time alone and felt her days to be rather pointless.

Occasionally she would take lessons in Singing and Art when the teacher from the local school would visit but other than that, and sometimes riding her horse around the castle grounds, she did nothing. Being 18 her education was complete-hence the absence of tutors and governesses from the house-and yet her father was relatively young and still had many years in power, so Rinoa had no duties and her title was merely that, a title.

Glancing around the room, her eyes settling on her desk, she decided to pen a letter to her best friend Selphie. Selphie had been a childhood friend, the daughter of a wealthy Baron. A year or so ago she had married and moved to the small kingdom of Trabia, leaving Rinoa feeling isolated and lonely.

Sitting down at the small wooden desk Rinoa took a few sheets of parchment and dipped her quill into the ink and began to write

_My dear friend Selphie,_

_I do so hope all is well with you. I would say it has been a while since my last letter, but I am not sure what time it has been. The days of my lonely life seem to blur into one lately. I feel tired beyond the hours I wake and old beyond my years. I fear sometimes that this lonely existence is draining me of my youthfulness. I often think back to the days when you were still here, and we would have all kinds of fun…_

Rinoa began to think back on those days a few years ago and she became lost in her own memories. She was only roused when she realised tears were falling onto the letter and smudging the ink. Wiping away the tears, she continued writing…

…_it makes me both joyous and sad to think back on those days, the sadness being in the difference between my life then and now. It is rare I have any reason to smile anymore…But enough of that matter. I hope that soon we may meet up to reacquaint ourselves, and please bring your husband for you have said such wonderful things of him that I simply must meet him. Well I hope you receive this letter and I look forward to your response my friend._

_All the kindest wishes_

_Rinoa_

No sooner had Rinoa finished the letter, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter" she called out. The door opened and in walked one of her guards. He was a tall, young man with chestnut brown hair which fell mostly over his eyes. He had a definitive scar tracking across the top of his nose, and icy blue eyes. Rinoa knew this guard only by what she had heard him referred to by Seifer, which was Leonhart. She assumed this to be his last name and not his first. She knew very little about this man for he was the newest of the guards.He had appeared about a month or so ago to replace one of Rinoa's guards who had died in a tragic accident. Rinoa found it strange how they had just emotionlessly replaced the guard with no apparent care that human life had been lost. However she though this 'Leonhart' was an improvement on the previous guard, as he was much younger-she guessed he could only be a year or two older than her-, and she also couldn't deny to herself that he was certainly not bad to look at. Although it was un-princess like to comment on such things.

The young man stared at Rinoa for a few seconds before saying "Are you okay Princess?"

It was then that Rinoa realised she still had a few tears lingering on her cheeks. She wiped at them with her velvet sleeves. "thank you. I am fine"

"Very well. Then shall I deliver my report Princess?"

"Yes, please do."

"Everything is as it should be. Is there anything you need?"

"There is an errand you could do for me."

"Yes your highness?"

Rinoa wrote and address on the envelope, carefully folded the letter, stamped it with a seal and then handed it to the young man "Please take this to the post master at the nearest village"

The young guard took the letter and bowed before leaving the room, and once again Rinoa was left alone.

------------------------------------------------------------

Everyday of the week seemed the same to Rinoa. She often lost track of which day was which, as nothing of distinction happened on any of them. As glamorous of a job as being a Princess may have seemed to many, Rinoa hated it. She was too protected to really live her life. She was usually instructed to stay inside the castle grounds, and even then she had to be accompanied by a Guard, as she did if she wished to go to the towns and villages just beyond her castle. These rules, set down by her father, were supposedly for protection, but to Rinoa they felt like punishments.

It was somewhat of a contradiction to Rinoa that she felt so incredibly lonely and yet wished to be able to go out and explore by herself. She thought it was perhaps more to do with the surroundings that made her lonely. Out in the towns and villages with real people was a real world whereas her castle was like a separate bubble were she was all alone. Mostly Rinoa stayed inside her castle as her guards were often too busy to accompany her anywhere.

There was only one thing that Rinoa found the tiniest sense of freedom in and that was her painting. Rinoa seemed to have natural talent for painting. Flowers, people, landscapes-she would paint anything and when she did, she would allow herself to escape into the world of whatever she had painted.

These paintings, these designed, crafted worlds made Rinoas dreams. She dreamt of happiness, freedom and Love, everything she lacked in her life. She rarely felt happy and she thought she had all the freedom of a caged bird. And as for love, that was just a fantasy for Rinoa. She didn't even have friendship or care in her life. Everyone she knew, everyone she came into contact with, knew her only for her title. People cared about her well being because it was their jobs, not because they truly cared about her as a person.

It was late afternoon, the winter sun starting to set. Rinoa stared out of her window into the field just beyond her grounds. There was a gentle frost on the fields, the grass looking crisp and fresh. Rinoa wondered what it would be like to walk on the grass just once, and hear the fallen leaves crunch beneath her feet. Tired of her boredom, she decided she would do just that. She headed over to the closet, took out her large cloak and wrapped it around herself.

As she did so there came the familiar sound of a knocking on the door.

"Come in" she called as she secured the velvet cloak around her neck. Through the opening door walked Rinoas guard, the one she knew as Leonhart. For the past week or so every hourly report of every day had been delivered by this young man. Rinoa was seeing him more and more and every time she did she became more and more intrigued by him. He had a strange air of mystery about him. He never seemed to speak more than necessary and had a sort of restraint of coldness , but when he did speak, he did so with more genuine respect than her other of her guards-particularly Sir Almasy-did. But she knew nothing of this man. Not his first name, his background or how he ended up working for her.

He was always polite in his capacity in guard and sometimes, when she was at her loneliest, she thought of him as a potential friend. She would have liked to know more of this man as she found it to be a little silly that someone she saw around 7 times a day was someone she knew nothing about.

She thought perhaps if she knew one person a little better she wouldn't feel as lonely. But of course, she never went about putting these thoughts into action.

The guard observed Rinoas outfit "are you cold princess?" he asked noticing the cloak.

"No" Rinoa said ""but I am going outside and I suspect that I may be"

"Princess, it is starting to darken outside, I would not advise walking the grounds at this hour"

" I will not be walking the grounds, I wish to go out, to the field beyond"

"I can not allow you to do so, I would be endangering you. It would not be good practice to allow you to wander outside alone in such light. Please stay inside"

" I am tired of staying inside" Rinoa said pulling gloves onto her delicate hands "if you do not wish it that I walk alone then perhaps you had best accompany me"

The young man straightened his posture and cleared his throat "well if you insist on going out Princess, then I have no choice…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Tada and that's the introduction. I swear it gets better. So like I said, if I get reviews I shall continue it, if everyone hates it, and noone reviews then I will not. Well let me know what you think. Thanks guys xx **


	2. The guard

**Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8. If I did I'd be the happiest girl in all the land! **

**A/n: well I am glad some of y'all are liking this story, thanks to my lovely reviewers ****Rinny Leonheart****, Lilnaych, ****dole pwnz0rs los trombonez0...****chibi-san****known as r****,CrazyTurkey, ****EndingStar****Stardust Ray**** zellycat, EmoDiva and cerulean cyrstal** **this chapters for you guys.**

**So squall is going to accompany Rinoa out for her walk huh? Wonder how that'll turn out.. Keep reading and reviewing guys. xxx peace and light xx**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-The guard- **

**T**he wind was cold and harsh against the young guards face and it blew his long fringe in every direction, obscuring his vision slightly as he kept his eyes firmly on the girl in front of him.

As he watched her, he found her reaction to the outdoors and the wind very strange and quite captivating at the same time. She seemed to smile every time a gust of wind would blow, whipping her hair around her face and bringing a rosy pink colour to her cheeks.

When they reached the middle of the huge field, the young Princess stopped, and for a few minutes she stood there. Then she turned to her guard and said "Do you not think it's amazing?"

The young guard was unaware of exactly what he was being asked "Pardon your highness?"

"The wind, the air. It's so fresh. So free"

The guard found this comment to be very strange, and the way she spoke-her voice was full of fascination as if she was greatly impressed by the wind. He just found it to be very cold. He wondered how cold and rough winds could fascinate anyone as he hated the winter months. Struggling against winds to ensure everything was normal around the grounds was not his idea of fun. Yet this young woman seemed to be moved by simply being outside. After a few more minutes Rinoa carried on walking across the field and the guard kept in step a few paces behind her. He actually knew very little about the young princess. He was not privileged the information of her age or anything much about her life, His job-or rather Sir Seifers job which he was just to lazy to do- required him to see her almost everyday and he still knew nothing about her. One thing he had noticed, however, was that a lot of the time she seemed to be very sad and he often wondered why. But wonder as he did he knew it was not his place to ever ask such questions or to infact ever ask anything at all. Questioning a superior in anyway he knew was not a wise move, and it was-in a way-such actions that had got him expelled from the army two years ago…

"Why do you walk behind me?" the princess asked suddenly turning to him

"It is only polite Princess"

"Perhaps. But I do not feel very polite in you doing so. Please walk beside me"

Again, the guard found this very strange. Most people who had guards and servants treated them merely as servants, as pawns in the game of their day to day lives, but Rinoa seemed different.

Reluctantly he began walking next to the girl. He felt strangely uncomfortable, but regardless he had no choice as it was her request.

"What is your name?" she asked him

"Why, princess, do you wish to know"

"I see you most everyday and yet know only your last name, which I only picked up in passing. Do you not feel somewhat aggravated that I know nothing of you as a person, only as a guard?"

"I am used to that kind of anonymity your Highness, I was a solider in which time I was known only by number and rank.

"How dreadful that must have been. Still, I would wish to know your name"

"Squall, Princess, my name is Squall Leonhart"

The girl nodded and smiled "Very well. At least I have something to call you now"

Squall nodded "yes Princess"

"Rinoa" she said "I wish people would call me by my name and not only my title"

Squall got the sense that the young Princess was very, very different to most royalty.. Ordinarily to call a superior by anything other than their title was highly punishable, yet Rinoa seemed to hate having this title. At that point, even though it was a simple decision of what to call someone, there was a conflict within Squalls mind between his respect for her position and his respect for her wishes as a person.

"Perhaps, Princess Rinoa, people feel obliged to call you by your title"

There, Princess Rinoa. Not quite the cold formality of princess and not the inappropriateness of addressing her as Rinoa.

"perhaps" she sighed

"I would advise we start to head back now. The temperature is dropping and I believe it is due to snow."

The Princess stopped still and took several deep breaths, almost as if she was trying to consume and collect some of the freedom the air possessed.

She was, to Squall, highly mysterious and undeniably beautiful…

Upon returning to the castle Squall and Rinoa were confronted by Sir Seifer.

Seifer was not amongst Squalls favourite people, Squall thought he was pretty much arrogant, lazy and disrespectful.

"Where have you been?" Seifer demanded of the Princess "it is approaching a late hour and it is dark"

"I merely went walking"

"At this hour? That was not the wisest of decisions . It was not entirely safe"

"I was not unaccompanied Sir Almasy. Squall has done an excellent job of keeping me safe, so while I appreciate your concern, it is not needed"

"Still. I do insist that you remain in the castle for the rest of the night, and please do not leave again at this hour"

"Very well" Rinoa sighed

Squall found this exchange to be very odd. It was Rinoa who was in charge, Seifer was beneath her, and yet he seemed to order her more than she ordered him. Seifer, Squall knew, was closely linked to Rinoas father who had ultimate say on whatever Rinoa did, and Squall wondered if this was why Seifer was so…Seifer.

As soon as Rinoa was out of ear shot Seifer turned to Squall

"I expect you to be more responsible in future Leonhart"

Squall rolled his eyes. Seifer could hardly talk about being responsible, he barely did anything. Ever.

"I acted responsibly. It is our job to Protect the Princess while attending to her needs, not to imprison her"

Seifer started to say something then stopped, shook his head and walked away.

Squall looked up and noticed the Princess, whom he thought had left the room, was lingering in the door way nearby. Catching his eye, she smiled warmly at him before walking through the door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was not long before Squall saw Rinoa again, it was the next night at dinner. Every night one guard would have to stand watch as she ate. Squall didn't particularly understand why this was as she was generally allowed in the Castle rooms by herself, just never allowed to eat in the great hall alone. Sir Seifer was insistent that a guard be present every night, although Squall noticed Seifer never actually did it himself.

Ordinarily Squall never did this particular duty either, as the system was that whichever of the guards delivered reports through out the day never did this duty, and ordinarily Squall did all the reports in the day. However, this particular day, he hadn't been in the grounds as Sir Seifer had sent him on errands throughout the day to various towns and villages, which Squall was pretty sure Seifer only did to punish him for the incident the day before. So Squall just stood there, as Rinoa ate.

"Are you not bored?" Rinoa suddenly asked half way through her meal

"Pardon me your highness?"

"You have stood there, for nearly half an hour silent and still, you must be very bored"

"It is my job"

The Princess gave a little giggle "I know that it is your job, I would not think you do such things for your own amusement. But you did not answer my question, are you not bored?"

"My feelings are not important Princess"

The young Princess laughed again and for a moment Squall was captivated by her beautiful smile.

"You take everything very seriously Squall. You never speak or act freely"

"It is not my place to Princess Rinoa"

"Sit with me…" Rinoa said gesturing to one of the chairs at the large empty table.

Squall really did not understand this young woman. She seemed to either not understand or not care about the fact that he was her staff and that he was, in all truth, beneath her. He opened his mouth to speak, but the Princess spoke first "..and do not tell me it is not your place to do so. It is your place to take orders from me and seeing as how I know you will refuse to do it any other circumstance I order you to sit with me"

Fully aware from the playful smile on Rinoas face that she was not going to give up he reluctantly took a seat at the table. What he was not aware of was exactly why she was so desperate for him to sit there. Squall wondered how lonely the young woman was if she seemed to actually enjoy the company of her guards.

"You did not deliver any reports today, where were you?" Rinoa asked with more of a curious tone, than the demanding one most superiors spoke to their guards with.

"Sir Seifer sent me on several errands, delivering messages and such. It should have taken just a morning, but the snow slowed me down. I apologise for my absence your highness"

"You may relax, Squall, I am not annoyed by your absence, I was simply curious."

For a while no one said anything else. Rinoa finished her meal silently then reached for the jug of wine to pour herself a drink . Squall picked up the jug and filled the glass "I may as well make myself of some service whilst I am here. You should not do such things yourself, have you not got servants, waiters?"

"I have. But mostly I allow them home once the meal is prepared, they too have families and I would much rather them be with there families than be here waiting on me"

Squall was quite shocked by this comment. It was some what of a strange idea coming form her, given that she was her fathers daughter. King Caraway was not known to be the most lenient of rulers, yet Rinoa was unfailingly kind to those beneath her.

"thank you" she said as he finished pouring the wine

"Do not thank me, I am doing what I should"

'I can not help but wonder why you take everything so seriously, so formally. It seems quite odd to me. I am aware you see me as your superior, but I will tell you that you do not have to act with such formality always. I am a person as well as a Princess and all people share equality on one level. So as of now, you have my permission to speak freely around me"

"Very well Princess"

She laughed again. "Please, it is Rinoa. Let me ask you a question, how old are you?"

"why do you ask?"

"By appearance you are young, but in your personality you possess a certain quality which makes it difficult to determine …"

"I am 20 years old"

"Then you are young. And yet so serious. I…"

But Rinoa was interrupted as the door swung open and Seifer walked in

"Princess, what is taking so long tonight? It is very late" he glanced suspiciously at Squall "if you are finished Princess then I should escort you to your chambers."

Rinoa stood up and pushed her chair back. "If you insist" she brushed a few strands of hair away from her face and smiled "Goodnight Squall"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ok she fancies Squall, she so fancies Squall! Although who can blame her heheheheheeheheehehheheehh he would make one damn hot guard, well he'd make a hot anything actually. But that is besides the point. I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. Please drop me a review just to say hi and let me know what you think and if you are interested in reading more. If you are then next chapter we meet some new characters, namely prince Irvine!!!!!!!thanks guys xxx xxx.**


	3. freedom and fate

**Disclaimer: I still don't own ff8, but believe me I'm trying to. **

**A/N: hello hello! Merry Christmas season. This story has nothing to do with Christmas, but still! Ok well here is another chapter. Many many thanks and Christmas cookies must go to my lovely reviewers of the last chapter; Zellycat, ending star, crazy turkey, stardust ray, emodiva, chibi-san, r, cerulean crystal, lilnaych, sparx, -Cinderella-princess-, and rinny Leonhart. (special Christmas cookies to chibi-san, zellycat, cerulean crystal and sparx for commenting on how lovely squall is! Teehhee, totally hot,hot guard.) but anywho, as promised we meet prince Irvine in this chapter. He is only in it a little this chapter but he becomes quite important later on. So hope you guys like the chapter, review and let me know what you think and I will carry on soon if y'all want me to. Peace and light y'all xx**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-Freedom and fate- **

"Prince Irvine, you have a visitor" said the young servant, bowing with a flourish

"A visitor" asked the young Prince smoothing his long brown ponytail :who is it?"

The servant looked both excited and nervous 'Your highness, it is King Caraway of Galbadia"

"The King?" Irvine said standing and smoothing out his robes "How unexpected. Do send him in."

The door opened again and in strode a tall man wearing luxurious robes weaved with gold patterns and a crown on top of his grey-silver hair.

"King Caraway, What a pleasant surprise and honour. To what do I owe this visit"

"I must say" said the King, with his deep authoritative tone, " I was saddened to hear of the death of your father."

"Thank you" said the young prince "it was quite sudden, it shocked us all"

"Well, he was a man I respected. I was impressed by the work he undertook, he transformed Dollet into quite the respectable country. I trust, Prince Irvine, you plan to continue this work, and that is why I believe there is much for us to discuss. Perhaps we could dine together"

"of course your majesty, my servants should be preparing a meal as we speak. Perhaps you would care for some entertainment as we wait?"

Irvine clicked his fingers and from the side of the room came a young blonde man with some form of distinctive marking on the side of his face, wearing colourful robes.

"King Caraway, Prince Irvine" the young man bowed "how may I be of service to you?"

"You are an entertainer. How do you think you can be of service, entertain us!"

"It would be an honour" said the young man reaching for the flute attached to his belt. After taking another bow the man began to play an upbeat tune, dancing in time to his own music. After a few tunes Prince Irvine clapped his hands. "Bravo, bravo. Thanks to you. Now, perhaps you could go and check on the meal"

With yet another bow the young man left the room to undertake the princes order

"That was most enjoyable" Said the King "Now, I have a proposal I wish to put to you."

"Of course, of course, go ahead"

"Well due to the work of your father and on some level yourself, Dollet has become quite an impressive land. I was thinking of a union between Dollet and the great Galbadian empire to expand the unity of the nations. With your co-operation the Galbadian Empire could be unbelievably great. Now I am aware you may be reluctant, you are perhaps thinking I am proposing some kind of take over, but this is nothing such. You will maintain near complete control of Dollet"

"And what will I gain?" Irvine asked while admiring his reflection in the mirror across the room.

"Well, you will gain say and influence in the Galbadian Empire, the Galbadian army would be at your disposal as would Galbadias advanced resources."

"I suppose, we could come to some form of arrangement then"

"I have one suggestion Prince Irvine. As I am sure you are aware my daughter, Princess Rinoa, recently reached the age of 18 years, the perfect age, I would venture to say, for a royal marriage…."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rinoa, tired of the confines of her castle, decided she would head out into the nearby village. She would have quite liked to do so by herself but she knew that it was not wise. Aside form the fact it would probably lead to another run in with Sir Seifer, she could see that in the winter as the days were darker it might be good to have the protection of a guard, so she decided to simply ask the next guard who came to give her the hourly report. She prayed it was a guard she liked and not Sir Seifer, not that it was likely it was Sir Seifer she rarely saw him at all and wondered what he actually did all day. She waited patiently for the guard to come and much to her relief, it was Squall. It was a little more than relief she felt in all truth.

"Good Afternoon Princess" Squall said with a bow

"Good Afternoon Squall"

"Is there anything I can do for you mistress?"

"Actually there is. I wish to go out, to the Town"

"Very well. I shall prepare a carriage.."

"No thank you, I will be riding my horse. I trust you will be accompanying me?"

"Yes, I have no other choice. It is my job. Although I can not say it will win favour with Seifer"

"I do to answer to Seifer, Squall"

"indeed. But I have to"

"true, but you also answer to me, and I wish to go riding"

"Yes Princess"

A few minutes later Rinoa was standing outside as the snow fell all around her. She stroked the mane of her white horse, whom she dearly loved. Rinoa had always loved horses, it amazed her how they were so strong and powerful yet graceful and free at the same time.

"Do you like horses, Squall?" she said as he held the gently rearing horse still so she could climb up onto it.

"I suppose, Princess. They are very useful"

Once she was firmly on her horse, she watched as the young guard climbed on his and she was amazed at the ease with which he controlled the huge brown horse.

Getting to the nearby town required them to cross the vast field which was now completely covered in a blanket of thick white snow.

"I am not sure this is such a good idea Princess" Squall said looking up to the sky at the falling snow

Rinoa was puzzled by this young man. He was young and yet so serious, so restrained and similar to the elder people Rinoa knew. She really hoped she would not be at all this way when she was 20. Squall never seemed to show any emotion whatsoever really and she wondered why. How did someone so young become so distant?

"It is only a little snow" she told the guard

Squall said nothing and just nodded. Then, as usual, he did not say anything the whole time they crossed the field. All Rinoa could hear was the hissing of the snow as it started to fall more heavily and the sound of the horses hooves shuffling through the layer already on the ground.

"The snow is getting much heavier" Rinoa commented suddenly feeling an icy chill "perhaps you were right and we should head back. We would make it in to town, but if the snow carries on this way we may not make it back."

"Yes Princess, I think that may be wise" Squall said turning the horse around "it looks as if a storm is beginning also"

"Such bad weather" Rinoa said as the horses trudged back across the snowy field "some would say it is a sign of something terrible to come. Fates warning to prepare for the worst"

"Maybe, all though I do not particularly chose to believe in superstitions are fate your highness"

"Not at all?" Rinoa asked, glad that Squall had finally revealed something about himself without being forced to do so.

"No Princess. I have seen to many horrible things, and if those where what fate intended then fate is truly cruel"

""I see. Although fate can have its good side, it can not always be seen as cruel I suppose"

"With every due respect your highness, you live a life of privilege and shelter, and thus you will never have to see the cruelty and unhappiness that fate inflicts upon some"

This was an assumption that Rinoa knew was commonly made; that because she was Royalty and because she was wealthy, she was happy. While it was true her privilege preserved her from such cruelties as hunger and sickness she was by no means living the perfect life.

" I live a life of privilege, but not a life of happiness Squall. Fate has shown has me much kindness, yet in many respects it has deprived me. Some people can be fated as the poorest in all the lands, yet if fate grants them friendship and love they can also be the happiest in the land. For others fate will grant privilege, but intends a life of loneliness"

"that is why I do not like fate. I would wish to control my own life"

" I wonder what it must be like, to have that freedom"

"Again, I mean no disrespect Princess, but since when have guards lived a life of freedom. We take orders and live our lives how we are told"

"You do. And you assume I have freedom as I give these orders. But my life has been planned from birth and my every move is watched. In some ways you have much more freedom than me. Also you seem to possess a freedom of thought, such conviction"

"As do you, Princess"

"Do you really think so?"

"I do, you show a sense of belief that is your own. You are not alike to other Royalty, even your father. You believe in equality and freedomand you talk to guards almost as if they are on your level and you refuse to lose your self to your title. That in itself shows and admirable freedom of thought"

Rinoa couldn't help but smile. Was he actually paying her a compliment?

But her smile quickly faded when a loud rumble of thunder made her jump. Unfortunately for her, it also startled her horse. The white creature started to bolt and the next thing she knew she felt herself falling and landing on the cold, snow covered ground.

For a few seconds everything was black and when she opened her eyes again her vision was hazy and her whole body ached and she was freezing cold. What had happened? She felt disorientated and confused all of a sudden?

As she blinked rapidly, trying to get her vision back she heard Squall yell "Princess!"

Blinking her eyes a few more times she opened them fully to see that Squall was now crouching in the snow next to her, his face inches from hers.

"Princess, are you alright!??"

"I'm…I'm…"Rinoa stuttered, still feeling a little dazed. She felt her eyes fluttering closed again

"Princess?"

She fought to open her eyes again and when she did, she found herself staring directly into the stormy, deeply blue eyes of her guard. They seemed to be full of concern and worry.

"Are you alright?" he asked again

"I'm…fine"

For some reason un known to Rinoa, Squall raised his hand and moved it slowly to the left and the right.

"Good" he said after a few seconds "your focus seems fine. I do not think you have hurt your head"

"No" Rinoa said still a little dazed by her fall and a lot dazed by Squalls very blue eyes "I…think I hurt my arm though."

"Let me see, please Princess" Squall said.

Rinoa stretched her arm out in front of her and saw that there was now a noticeable tear in the sleeve of her dress and the skin underneath it was cut and bleeding.

Squall ran his hand up the length of her arm "I think it is sprained, your highness" He placed his thumb over the cut in her arm "and this is deep"

"You have a lot of knowledge in injuries"

"As a soldier you learn basic medical skills, Princess. I know that it is vital we get you back, you need to rest"

"I suppose I am lucky. I think perhaps the snow cushioned my fall slightly" Rinoa said as Squall helped her up. But as soon as she stood up and the wind hit her a huge chill ran through her. The snow had melted and soaked the back of he dress and cloak, the icy water now touching her skin, and some of the snow had melted in her hair, turning it to a straggly mess which dripped more water down her back.

"Here" Squall said removing the outer layer he was wearing and wrapping it around her shoulders tightly

"You will freeze" she told him, feeling guilty

"I will be fine, I rarely feel the cold Princess. And you could catch your death in this chill. Now we must return to the castle. I assume your horse will return to the castle grounds in good time, but for now, you will have to ride with me"

The guard dutifully helped her up onto his horse before getting on himself and pulling the reins, causing the horse to start galloping across the field.

Her head still spinning and still feeling slightly dizzy, Rinoa wrapped her arms around the waist of her guard as to steady herself and rested her head on his shoulder. As the horse galloped through the snow across the field, Rinoa close her eyes and felt the wind on her face and through her hair. It was a strange thought that entered her head, that as innocent as all this was, she had never actually been this physically close to someone before. She became lost in this thought and before she even realised it, they were back within the grounds of her castle.

Squall pulled the horse to a stop, before climbing of himself and then lifting Rinoa off.

"I will take you inside, but then perhaps it would be best I send for a doctor" Squall told her.

Rinoa tried to stand but she was still ever so slightly dizzy, an she found herself swaying in the wind.

Squall wrapped his arm around her shoulders and walked her slowly to the castle door.

But as they approached one of the castle servants ran out

"Princess, I have been looking for you all over the grounds. Your father is here!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Dun dun dun.ok so hmm her fathers there. Wonder how he'll react to the fact Rinoa is returning dripping wet and injured, wearing the jacket of the (sexy) new guard (you know squalls hot, don't try and disagree!) and why oh why is he there. Well if you like and you review you'll find out all next chapter hehehe! Thanks you guys **


	4. Plans

**Disclaimer: still don't own ff8. santa if you're listening….**

**A/N; well another chapter of this crazy tale I am glad people have liked it so far, and much thanks goes to my reviewers of the last chapter zellycat, crazy turkey, lilnaych, sparx, chibi-san, r, ae14, cerulean crystal and emo diva. You guys all rock! So here is some more of the tale of Rinoa and her (hot) guard. So the king showed up at the end of the last one…how will that turn out….read and see. hope you enjoy and merry Christmas xx**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-plans- **

Rinoa's father. The king? King Caraway of Galbadia was there? Squall immediately felt panic rise in him. Rinoa was not exactly in an entirely presentable state, in fact she was in a very questionable state; injured, freezing, dizzy and wet. She was in such the state at present that people could quite easily question how capable of a guard Squall actually was. And that is exactly what happened when Seifer came storming out of the building with the King.

"What on the earth is going on?" Seifer demanded as soon as he laid eyes on Squall and the Princess. Squall immediately dropped his arm from around Rinoas shoulders-this setup looked bad enough as it was.

"There was a small event" Rinoa said to her father and Sir Seifer, both of whom looked pretty mad "the storm, it startled my horse and I fell"

The king looked Rinoa up and down and then flicked his gaze onto Squall "And who would you be again?"

Squall dutifully bowed to the King, although he was not particularly fond of him. Squall was aware of many things that King Caraway had done from his days as a soldier, and a lot of which were less than pleasant. He had actually been reluctant to take the position of guard to his daughter for such reasons, but at the time, his situation had left him little choice. Besides, the more he saw Rinoa, the more he began to think she was probably not involved in or even aware of a lot of the things her father did "Squall Leonhart, your majesty, I am one of your daughters guards"

"And were exactly where you when all this has happened?" the King asked him

This jolted something in Squall. It annoyed him. The King seemed more concerned with whether the people on his payroll were doing there jobs than he seemed about her daughter. He had not even asked if she was alright.

"I was there" Squall said

"And you let this happen?" Seifer demanded

"It was not his fault" Rinoa said "There was nothing he could have done to prevent the horse being startled. He was there to help me afterwards, which is important"

"We should get you inside, before people see you in such a state" The king said heading for the entrance of the castle, pulling Rinoa behind him

Once they were inside the castle, Sir Seifer stared at Squall and shook his head

"you idiot" he cursed

"I beg your pardon"

"Imagine bringing the Princess back in that state when the King was here, how could you be so irresponsible"

"Sir Seifer, the whole situation was inevitable. Unless you assume me able to control wild horses then you should know the accident could not have been prevented and unless you assume I also possess psychic powers you must accept that I had no idea the King would be here"

"you need to watch it Leonhart, this isn't the first time" Seifer said before storming off back into the castle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well" Rinoas father said demandingly as he paced the room "Explain yourself"

"I have Father, I have told you what happened. I fell off my horse"

"And that is the truth?" he asked suspiciously

"Yes Sir, it is. I landed in the snow, which is why I am quite wet"

"And what of that guard of yours"

"Squall?" Rinoa said slightly anxiously. She could easily see how her father and probably Sir Seifer were going to try and blame this whole thing on Squall. Seifer didn't like him anyway and Rinoa knew all her father was really concerned about was the outward impression she gave. If something went wrong it was always better to have someone to blame rather than have to blame it on your own daughter and risk your country looking at all questionable was her fathers way.

"I do not remember ever encountering him"

"He is relatively new, Sir Seifer hired him little over a month ago to replace my old guard. He is very good at his job father, this was not his fault" she explained. She really did not want Squall to get into any kind of trouble. In a strange way, he seemed to make the days more bearable.

"As you say. I shall leave Sir Seifer to deal with him, I do not lower myself to dealing with guards"

Rinoa was ever so slightly annoyed by this comment. She did not consider dealing with guards, or any people for that matter a task which needed lowering too, she saw it as part of life. Her father she knew was different, he saw anyone who was not royal or important as unworthy of his time.

"To what do I owe your visit, Father?"

"I have come to inform you that you will be hosting a ball, here at this castle. A week from today. I will make all the preparations, invitations have already been sent"

A ball? this was the first Rinoa had heard of any ball. "And what is the purpose of this party?"

"You are 18 now Rinoa, the time when you should be considering finding yourself a husband. I think this event would be perfect for you to start considering and observing possible suitors. There will be many eligible men attending"

"Father, I do not wish to marry yet"

"I am aware of that, but my dear not everything can be done to your liking. I will of course give you time, but remember you have a job as a representative of this family and this country and some things must be done to that end. And I forgot to mention, at your party, there will be a very important guest, I have invited Prince Irvine of Dollet"

"Father, I sincerely hope your intention is not to try to set me up with Prince Irvine in some sort of business deal" Rinoa had met prince Irvine, and she did not like him. He was young, arrogant and spoilt, he had inherited way too much power at a young age.

"Of course not, don't be so fanciful Rinoa" her father said, although Rinoa did not truly believe him. "he is merely one option you could consider"

After a little while longer, her father left and Rinoa began to dread this event that had been planned. Her father was up to something for sure. She prayed it was really not his intention to marry her off to Prince Irvine, although she sensed it may be, despite his denial of it. Rinoa did not know much about affairs of the heart, but she did know that she wanted to marry for love, not for position and power as she was sure her father would some day have her do. Of course the one problem was that her life lacked love completely. She had no idea what it really felt like to be in love or to be loved. She had spent her days in the company of people only concerned with her title. She had never known true friendship really, let alone true love. As she was thinking about this, as she often did, a familiar voice called through the door

"Permission to enter princess"

"Of course"

Squall walked into the room, and bowed. "I am very very sorry Princess"

"What for?" Rinoa asked a little puzzled

"For what happened earlier"

"Please Squall, as I told Seifer and my father, it was not your fault, you could not have prevented it in anyway. And you were very helpful to me, if it were not for you I would probably have lay there and passed out and caught my death from cold. So instead of you apologising, I should be thanking you. So thank you, Squall"

"It is not a problem mistress, I just hope you are feeling better now"

"I am, much thank you. Although I can not say I am looking forward to this party being held"

"yes, I have heard news of it. Sir Seifer told me of it."

"my father expects me to start looking for a husband there you know, he wishes me to marry soon." Rinoa was not entirely sure why exactly she was talking to Squall about all of this, it just felt good to know that someone would listen. Even if it was only because it was his job.

"I see your highness. I do not mean to be forward, but you do not seem happy with that"

"I am not. I would wish myself to marry for love, I would wish myself time to find the perfect person but I do not think that fits my fathers agenda."

"Perhaps. Although maybe you will be granted fortune and you will find love in the course of your fathers agenda. Maybe you will fall for someone whom he finds to be suitable for both his purposes and your own needs."

"Perhaps" Rinoa smiled slightly. Squall seemed to make her smile more than anyone else, again something she was not entirely sure of the reason behind this. Sure he was attractive-very attractive in fact with his stormy blue eyes and his long brown fringe and that mysterious scar-but there was something else about him, something that captivated her completely.

"Or" she continued, trying not to get too distracted by Squalls good looks "perhaps I will fall in love with someone entirely inappropriate…"

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**teehee. And I wonder who that highly inappropriate person may be Rinoa squall cough cough squall. Anyway I hope you liked the chapter. This will obviously be the last update before Christmas but I will get some done soon after. Next few chapters are a little more exciting I promise and just as a taster they include parties and horse chases. Indeed. So please keep reading and review and let me know what you think and if people want me too I will conitnue. All the best this Christmas guys xxx**


	5. Secrets and emotions

**Disclaimer: the usual**

**A/N: hey! Heres another chapter. Sorry it took a while but here it is now. It is kind of long this chapter, but kind of important as it explains a lot of background, so please read and hopefully you will enjoy. Many thanks to my reviewers of the last chapter: chibi-san,r, crazy turkey, zellycat, cerulean crystal, EmoDiva, lilnaych and Woven Bamboo Pattern. I love all you guys! So heres a new chapter in which the party happens, we find out a little more about Squalls past and we meet Selphie. Enjoy xx**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-secrets and emotions- **

A week had passed and the day of the grand ball had arrived. The whole week had been extremely busy, various people visiting the castle everyday. Party consultants, people providing food and wine, decorators, artists, musicians and not to mention Rinoas friend Selphie whom had arrived earlier in the week as Rinoa had invited her to stay. It was strange, but when Squall saw the two together it was the only time he was ever consciously aware of Rinoas age. She was in fact only a young woman, and when she was with Selphie, the years her title added melted away again.

Squall and the other guards had been incredibly busy, with all the people coming and going there were a lot of potential security threats. Plus amongst all that the normal procedure still had to be upheld and it came time for one of Squalls many reports to Princess Rinoa

"Permission to enter?" he called through the door. He at first received no answer, but could hear the voices on the other side of the door conferring

"Who is that?" he heard Selphie say to Rinoa

"My guard. Well one of them"

"Not that wretched Sir Seifer" he heard Selphie respond. That made him smile slightly. So he guessed that no-one liked Seifer.

"No, a different one" Rinoa said to Selphie. "Come in Squall" she then said much louder, obviously not realising that Squall could hear them anyway.

Squall entered the room too see that there were actually several people in there. Selphie was sitting on a velvet arm chair holding a goblet of wine, while Rinoa was standing in the middle of the room as several ladies appeared to be preparing her for the ball. Two ladies were adjusting the fabric of the dress she was wearing, another was sorting through a large box of jewellery, obviously trying to find the perfect accessory, and the last was brushing Rinoas long dark hair. Rinoa did not actually look very happy at all. Then again Squall supposed maybe it want much fun being poked and prodded from every direction by all these women.

"Hello Squall" she said sounding slightly exasperated

Squall bowed. "Princess. Baroness Tilmit. I trust everything is well"

"Yes….thank you" Rinoa said, trying to peer over the head of the woman who was standing in front of her, fiddling with the front of her dress.

"Good. Preparations for tonight are going well your highness and we have received word that the first guests will be arriving not long after sunset.

"Who is attending?" Selphie asked Rinoa, taking a sip from her wine

"My father has invited the nobles from every kingdom, as far as Esthar even. Anyone with money or status will be here and anyone my father considers eligible to be a possible husband."

Selphie shook her head. "I can not believe your father expects you to marry so soon. I know I entered an arranged marriage at a young age, but that was necessary for my family and I too survive. You however can surely support yourself without a husband"

"My father" Rinoa said, gasping slightly as the person behind her tightened the strings on her dress "expects me to marry someone with close to equal status so the Kingdom can gain more power. I am quite convinced he wants me to marry prince Irvine. Such a union would bring Dollet into the Galbadian empire, expanding my Fathers power" The ladies fussing over Rinoa finally left and she sat down on the nearest chair.

Selphie sighed "Prince Irvine. I have heard of him, I have never actually met him though"

"I have, once when we were both younger. 15 or 16 I believe. Even then he was arrogant and vane, I can not imagine he has gained much modesty."

"I suppose I was fortunate I married quite a nice man"

Squall had no idea if the two girls even remembered he was there. This was not the sort of conversation people usually embarked on in front of their guards. But even so, he could not leave the room until dismissed.

"I would venture to say I will not be so lucky. If my father has his way I will be married solely for power and money and in my experience those with power and money are rarely nice and those whom you encounter who are truly nice rarely possess an acceptable status."

"So then, it will be true that your father has invited as many people as possible"

"Everyone who is rich enough" Rinoa sighed

"Excuse me Princess" Squall said "Am I dismissed?"

"oh I am sorry Squall. Yes of course"

Squall bowed again and then turned and headed for the door but before he got out, Rinoa called out to him

"Yes Princess" he said turning around

"Are you present tonight?"

"Yes Princess. With so many important people in one place Sir Seifer has insisted that all of your guards are present as well as some of your fathers guards. So yes I will be."

"All right. Thank you"

Squall bowed again and then left the room.. As he shut the chamber door behind him he could still hear the two womens voices

"why are you so concerned with his presence at the ball" Selphie asked, a slightly suggestive tone in her voice "I must wonder if…"

"Stop wondering" Rinoa said with a small laugh " I just happen to think he is a very good guard. He is very pleasant. A rather welcome change from my other guards"

"Plus he is not difficult to look at at all" Selphie said

Squall knew he should move along, but he seemed drawn into the conversation. It was after all about him. Not difficult to look at? That was the first time he had ever heard anyone say something of the sort about him.

"Selphie!" he heard Rinoa giggle

"Oh please Rinoa" Selphie laughed "do you mean to tell me you have never looked at him in that way"

"well…all right. Maybe once or twice"

"of course yes. Just once or twice"

"Selphie!"

"truth please" Selphie giggled

"Very well. You are right, he is very handsome. But such things must not get around I am sure my father would positively murder me for thinking such things about a guard."

Rinoas sentence reminded Squall of exactly what he was. A Guard. And a guard should not be privy to the private conversations of Royalty, so he turned and headed back to the rest of his duties.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

By twilight the whole castle was filled with people and the ball was in full swing. Every wing and every room of the castle was filled with the important and powerful from across the world. Every room was lit with flaming torches and candles and several musicians played in each room, sending harmonic melodies into the night sky.

Squall guessed that there was probably between 100 and 200 guests there and it was his job to ensure the safety of these people, to patrol the whole castle and the grounds and ensure no threats were present. Squall knew that some kind of major problem was not impossible.

Majority of the people at this ball were from the states and countries ruled over by the Galbadian Empire, others from Dollet and Esthar-Dollet which was likely to become part of the Galbadian Empire soon and Esthar which was quite a powerful empire with itself. The biggest threat Squall knew was from those opposed to Empires, and the biggest threat of that came from Balamb.

Balamb, Squalls home country.

Balamb was an independent island, the first in the world not to be ruled by a monarch. 27 years ago armies in Balamb mutinied against the Royal family, and ever since it had been a country ruled by the strong military presence. Galbadia-more than likely under the orders of King Caraway-had attempted several takeovers of Balamb, creating resentment between the two. Generally the people from Balamb had a strong hatred towards Galbadia and people from Balamb were not trusted by People from Galbadia.

Squall was a slight exception to both rules. For 10 years of his life he lived in Balamb so the resentment of Galbadia was instilled deeply in him and had also been drummed and beaten into him when he was in the army. However, during his time as a soldier he learnt that the leaders of Balamb-whom decried the immorality , brutality and corruption of the Empire leaders- were rather brutal and corrupt themselves. Eventually his resentment of them and his life as a soldier took over the resentment of Galbadia.

On the other side, nobody knew Squall was from Balamb. He was quite sure that if he did he would not have been given the job as a guard, in fact he may even have been mobbed as soon as he set foot in the Kingdom. But at the time he came to the area that Princess Rinoa resided in, Sir Seifer was desperately in need of another guard to replace one whom had died, and so he was not very thorough with his selection process. Since Squall spoke with no particular accent- not the accent that people from Balamb spoke with seeing as neither of his parents were from Balamb and he spent the first six years of his life in an orphanage in Centra which formed the slight accent he did have- he was not suspected of being from Balamb. When asked what he did previously he said with all honesty he was a soldier but he was not asked from which army. Had he said he was part of the Balamb army he more than likely would have been killed on the spot as the Balamb army, several years before, had been responsible for the attack on Galbadia during which Queen Julia was killed. Queen Julia Rinoas mother.

Occasionally when he was around Rinoa he felt guilty for the whole thing. Not only was he lying to Rinoa, but he knew that Queen Julia had died 13 years ago, and he knew she had a very young child at the time. The Princess had grown up without a mother and with her father being King Caraway Squall felt great sympathy as well as guilt. Being just a child when it happened Squall was obviously not involved in that particular incident, but he had in his life been part of many schemes to undermine the Galbadian Empire. Most days when he woke up he prayed that he could make it another day without anyone finding out the truth. As far as people were concerned he was a former soldier from somewhere within the Empire. He prayed they would never find out which army he was from or find out that he did not leave the army due to injury as he had told people but was actually expelled from the Army by force. He was known as a renegade, marked as a traitor and wanted by the army of Balamb. Squall knew if the army ever found him they as well as the Galbadians would want him dead.

He was living a very constructed lie, one that could collapse at any minute, but at the time, taking this job had been his only option.

"Leonhart" called a voice from behind him, disrupting his thoughts. Squall turned around to see it was Jin, one of Rinoas other guards.

"Yes?"

"Have you seen the Princess? No one has seen her inside for a while. Prince Irvine was looking to speak with her but could not find her. He mentioned this to Sir Seifer and he is now furious"

Squall felt slightly panicked. Why couldn't Rinoa be found?

"Have you checked all the rooms?" Squall asked, trying to be rational. It was a very vast castle, she could easily just have been missed.

"Yes. But some of the other guards are checking again, but we do not want to alarm the guests. King Caraway is already most angry. He'll have our heads if we do not find her"

" I will check the grounds outside" Squall said before heading down the large, grand staircase leading to the entrance. It could be that Rinoa was just off somewhere talking with Selphie but this could also be trouble. Reaching the front entrance, he drew the large sword he kept with him, ready for any possible danger. But stepping outside, he didn't see anything. No danger, no people, no anything. But in the quietness of the night he could swear he heard a gentle sobbing. Puzzled, he followed the sound, heading around the corner of the building. Sitting there on a stone bench with red roses growing up the side was the Princess.

"Your Highness, what the devil are you doing?" he asked approaching her "Why are you not inside?"

"I did not wish to stay there" was all she said

"Very well, but you should know that every guard is looking for you and Seifer and your father are furious. I should take you to them."

"Can you not? I would rather stay here, at least a few moments longer"

"What is happening your highness? Why are you crying and why do you wish to stay outside?"

"I hate it in there. It is so lonely"

'_Lonely? There are about 200 people present how could it be lonely?' _Was Squalls immediate thought

"I know what you are thinking" she said, wiping some tears away with her sleeves "you're thinking how can I be lonely when there are so many people around?"

"well yes I suppose I was to be honest"

"it is horribly lonely Squall. All these people and yet not one of them cares about me"

"of course people care Princess. Everyone is here for you"

"Do you truly believe that? Those people are only here to please my Father, in the hopes of gaining more esteem. No one cares, not even my own Father for that matter. He values money and power more than me. I have no one"

"That is untrue. Even if you discount tonight, look at your day to day life. You have people who would give there lives to save you."

"Like you? And the guards, Sir Seifer? That is because it is a job, not because they care about me." she sobbed before burying her head in her arms.

Squall felt amazingly sorry for her probably because he knew she was partly right. He supposed she would be very lonely, everyone viewing her as just a title. Squall himself was guilty of this, at least when he first started working for her. Now he felt he knew her a tiny bit better, but was still not much better than the rest. But this was because of his position, same with the other staff. It was not their place to treat her in any other way than there boss. It would be wrong of them to speak to her in a general way on the level of friendship or equality because they were not equal. And she seemed not to like this. The only people who were her equals seemed unconcerned with her as well, her father rarely came to see her, and even tonight few of her guests had noticed her disappearance from the party. Squall sat down next to her on the bench.

"I care, I do. That's why you should come inside with me"

"You only care because if you do not take me back my father and Seifer will punish all of the guards. I understand that, I am a job to you Squall, that is not your fault but it does not change how lonely I feel"

Squall did feel sorry for the girl as he realised she was extremely lonely. He was lonely too, he was only on the same level as a few people in the castle. Those above him such as Rinoa and even Sir Seifer he was not allowed to talk to in many ways and those staff below him mostly feared the Guards. As for the other guards, they had been working together much longer than Squall had been working as a guard and they rarely spoke to him either. Once or twice he had them talk about him and the word that came up most often was 'loner'. But the difference was that Squall didn't really mind being lonely, he was used to it and mostly he welcomed it. He had seen so much loss in the Army that he realised if you were never close to anyone or anything there was nothing to lose. Rinoa obviously did not share this view, she clearly hated to be alone. Squall thought it was actually a shame, she was a kind and beautiful girl but no one ever saw it, they just saw 'Princess'.

Squall had no idea what to do in this situation, he could only comfort her to a certain extent because of his position.

"Your highness, I wish not to overstep my status, but I do care about you. You are a nice person which is quite rare among people of your status. It is sad that you live a life that upsets you so"

The Princess blinked at him before moving closer and leaning her head on his shoulder. Squall tensed slightly. This habit of getting himself into position-compromising situations seemed to be happening more and more. He could feel her shivering in the cold and he wrapped his arm loosely round her shoulders. Why did he always seem to end up doing something he probably shouldn't do?

"Do you know how old I am Squall?" she asked quietly. Squall had absolutely no idea why she asked him that and no idea what to say. He knew she was young, just not how young.

"Not exactly Princess"

"I am young. Younger even than you. I am 18"

18. Squall had thought a little older. Maybe 19 or 20. But as he soon saw, that was exactly her point

"I am quite sure you probably thought otherwise. I never feel young myself. I never have fun or experience anything but loneliness. I feel like I have been an adult my whole life. You were a soldier, were you not?"

"Yes Princess"

"Then I am sure you must have some sense of what I mean. You are young now, so I must imagine you were relatively young when you were a soldier"

"I started training when I was 13 and fighting when I was 15. I left just after I turned 18 your highness." Squall had no idea why this was at all relevant to her.

"you must never have had a childhood, you must feel like you were always an adult. I should imagine you have lived and acted similarly your whole life"

Squall realised she was right and this may be the one sense in which they were not that different.

"But do you know what is most upsetting? I will face this my whole life. I will undoubtedly be forced into a marriage to someone who does not care for me at all. Although I suppose that could be for the best. I think it is unlikely I would ever find somebody who could love me for the person I am"

"that is crazy" Squall said before he could stop himself. Rinoa blinked up at him and didn't say anything. "What I mean your highness is that it is untrue. You are a wonderful person. I'm sure there are very few who could deny that. I should imagine you will one day find someone who truly loves you, and then you will be happy."

"Thank you Squall" she said slowly. Squall was still quite taken aback by the whole situation. He thought she had told him way too much. But nothing shocked him as much as what happened next. She wiped away some more of the tears that kept falling, leant closer to him and kissed him.

The second her lips brushed against his, Squall seemed to lose all logical thought for a moment. He knew this shouldn't be happening. She would probably regret it, she was just upset and he was just...there. He knew he should have stopped it before it went any further, but instead he found himself pulling her even closer to him and kissing her back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Tut Tut Tut Squall I don't think that's part of your job description now is it. **

**Sorry it was a little longer than usual, but had to let y'all in on Squalls dodgy past teehee. Hmmm what will happen next. Well if anyone reads and reviews this then I will carry on, and I tell you there is major drama to come. Hope people like the chapter xx**


	6. Disaster strikes

**Disclaimer: I don't own ff8 or the characters. But if anyone wants to give me squall that would really be fine**

**A/N: well here we go another chapter. Many thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter lilnaych, xmutedx, crazy turkey, r, EmoDiva, endingstar, -Cinderella-princess-, Burning phoenix X-7, chibi-san, and tigressimi. Love you guys! So ok last chapter we found out Squall has a tad of a dodgy past behind him and then him and Rinoa kissed (shock horror!) so please read on and find out what happens next. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-disaster strikes- **

**A**fter a few seconds Squall pulled sharply away from the kiss and turned away from the Princess "I am very sorry your highness"

"No…no I am sorry" Rinoa sounded a little flustered and embarrassed "I should be apologising to you"

"A princess should never apologise to a guard"

" I did not mean to put you in a difficult position"

"I understand, I think perhaps it is best we just do not speak of this again your Highness it was…"Squall stopped mid-sentence as there was suddenly the strangest and loudest sound. It sounded like galloping horses in the distance. But it was loud, deafening almost, there would have to be legions of horses. But that of course was not impossible.

"What is going on?" Rinoa asked, concerned by the sudden change in Squalls expression

"Wait here" the guard said, before walking forward and peering back round the side of the building. "Holy hell" she heard him sigh

"What is it?" she asked, starting to cry again. She was seriously worried. She'd never really seen Squall anything but calm and balanced, but she could tell by the expression and tone that something now had him concerned "You're scaring me. What is happening?" she asked, going to look for herself, but before she could Squall grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back

"Do not do that" he whispered "Alright, just listen to me but stay clam. The Balamb army are here so you can not let yourself be seen"

"The Balamb army?" the young princess sobbed. She knew all about the Balamb army and what they stood for. She also knew they had been responsible for her mothers death. "why are they here? What do they want"

"Your father or possibly you. We have to get inside, protect your father and the other guests, hold the soldiers off"

"I am not surprised they attacked tonight with all my fathers contacts here. They can take out some of the most important people in the Empire!"

"Exactly. That is why we have to get inside. There is no way we can get past them to get into the front entrance, we will have to take the back entrance"

Rinoa was amazed at how well Squall was keeping a level head -she was scared as hell and panicking.

"Squall…… I'm scared"

"Don't worry Princess, I'll protect you. Just stay close to me" he said before heading to the back entrance of the castle.

Once inside he told her "We had better find Seifer and your father. The soldiers will be inside any minute, I don't think the guards at he front entrance can hold them long. Most of the guards are inside there are only 4 or so posted on the gate and entrance and there were at least 20 of those soldiers"

Rinoa knew those odds were not good. Even with her guards added to the 10 her father had brought was only about 15 men and those at the gate had likely already been killed.

The sound of smashing and then screaming echoed through the castle. Rinoa guessed the Balamb soldiers must have gotten inside. Already! Squall grabbed her hand and sped down the corridor, then up the large staircase to the main rooms. There were several soldiers grouped at the bottom of the stairs that had started to chase them as soon as they had seen them, but luckily Squall managed to disable them. He delivered a swift kick to one of them who toppled back down the stairs, knocking another on his way.

Rinoa put her trust in Squall as he pulled here up the staircase behind him. At the top they ran directly into a very aggravated Sir Seifer and Rinoas father.

"Seifer what do we do now?" Squall asked immediately

"I have no idea. There is too many of them we are not well enough prepared, they must already have killed the guards at the gate!" Seifer said, running his fingers through his blonde hair. At that moment two soldiers came running up the stairs, but Seifer quickly disabled them with his sword.

"They are everywhere!" King Caraway cried

Guests from the party were frantically running down the corridors and down the stair case heading for the exit.

"We should get the king out of here. You too Princess" Seifer said to Squall and Rinoa "the other guards will have to hold things here"

"But they could not possibly do that!" Rinoa cried "There are too many soldiers! Who knows how many of our Guards will die! Should we not stay, fight?"

"Do not be so foolish" the King scolded her "Guards lives are worthless, ours are not! Seifer will get us out of here."

"I'll stay, I'll stay and fight here" Squall said

Rinoa grabbed his arm. He couldn't stay. If he stayed he was sure to die. "No, you said you would protect me. Sir Seifer can not be responsible for all our lives, you are coming with us!"

"yes Princess"

"Can we please live now?" the King boomed

Seifer, King Caraway, Squall and Rinoa all rushed down the staircase but the exit was now crawling with soldiers. Both Seifer and Squall drew their swords and took out many of the soldiers. As a general rule, soldiers were better fighters than guards, as they were trained to attack and guards were trained more defensively. However Squall and Seifer were both exceedingly well trained and skilled on both fronts. Squall, Rinoa knew, was more than likely due to his time as a soldier and Seifer was well renowned for his skills with a sword, as his father had been an expert swordsman himself. They had the upper hand as they fought with more speed and precision than any of the soldiers. Eventually the two of them managed to clear the doorway and lead Rinoa and her father outside.

"Stables!" Sir Seifer called "We need to get out of here as quickly as possible"

But the plan was halted by the two men who came riding towards them on horses. They were slightly older , wore different attire and were presumably of a higher rank.

They immediately jumped off their horses and drew their own swords. One immediately lunged for the king, but Seifer intercepted the blade with his own. He then delivered a sharp kick to the mans shin. The other soldier meanwhile, headed for Rinoa who was standing petrified behind Squall. The man rose his blade high in the air before bringing it downwards and Squall rose his blade up, blocking the blow. The man swung his sword to the side, but it again came into contact with Squalls sword.

Glancing over, Rinoa saw that Seifer was doing much better with his fight. He seemed to have weakened the man significantly. With a swing of his blade distracting his opponent he delivered a sharp punch to his stomach causing the man to topple over.

"We must go!" he signalled to the King, both men running towards the stable.

"Hey!" Squall yelled, while blocking more blows from the soldiers sword.

Rinoa felt hurt and slightly annoyed-her father had disregarded her life to just save his own. She turned her eyes back to the fight between the soldier and her guard, wasn't there anything she could do? But out of the corner of her eye she saw the man who had been fighting Seifer picking himself up off the ground and heading straight for her, his sword drawn

"Squall!" she yelled

Looking around, his eyes full of panic the young guard quickly pushed Rinoa out of the way, the blade intended for her instead piercing his shoulder.

He cried out in pain and then fell to his knees. The man he had been fighting took advantage of this and kicked him twice in the stomach, causing him to drop flat to the ground.

He then reached out and grabbed Rinoa around the waist and started dragging her to his large dark horse, forcing her up on to it despite her kicking and screaming. The other guard ran to the door way of the castle and yelled "withdraw!!!!!!!" and seconds later the remaining soldiers came flooding out and mounted their horses, the leader jumping on his last. He then yelled "Go!" and the horses started to gallop off one by one. Rinoa fought violently against the person who had hold of her on his horse, but he was far to strong. He pulled on the reigns of his horse and sped off dragging her away into the night. Deep inside, she knew she was going to die and the last thing she heard before they dragged her too far away was Squall yelling "Princess!"

….

'_What the hell am I supposed to do' _Squall thought to himself. Sir Seifer was gone with the King, who had not given a second thought to his daughters life. Squall could see the horses where getting further and further into the distance at quite a quick pace.

He knew what he had to do. Forcing himself to fight the pain, he pulled himself onto a nearby horse- presumably belonging to one of the soldiers who had not made it out of the castle. Squall did not really know nor did he really care about details at that time.

He pulled the reigns as hard as he could and the horse went galloping away. Squall could barely see the others in the distance anymore, but he knew it was a straight path out of the castle grounds and across the fields but then there was a hill which lead into forestry that surrounded a large lake. He had to catch up with the soldiers before then or he'd lose them. The horse was travelling speedily down the path which caused Squall to feel quite dizzy. He was dripping blood from his shoulder and it was starting to ache, plus every few seconds his vision blurred slightly.

But he knew he had to keep going for Rinoas' sake. He didn't know if he even really had a chance of saving her, but he was going to try. Which was more than Sir Seifer or her own father had done, they had only cared about their own lives. Squall wasn't going to go as far as to call himself a warm or caring person but he seemed to care a hell of a lot more than either of them.

The people he was chasing were travelling quickly and smoothly and were experts at controlling their horses. Fortunately for Squall so was he, and he managed to catch up with the back few soldiers and even overtake some of them. They man who had grabbed Rinoa was pretty far ahead and how now entered into the forest area. The trees ahead were so dense Squall could hardly keep him sight, he could just see flashes of his dark horse through the trees, but he could also now hear Rinoa screaming. That was a good sign-at least she was still alive. He forced the horse to travel even faster. If he could still hear her screaming, he could figure out where she was and get some idea of distance.

Out of nowhere, a soldier on a horse came up along side Squall and drew his sword, pointing it in Squalls direction.

'_this is getting a little unbelievable'_ he thought to himself. He was expected to fight on horseback while speeding through a forest with a bleeding shoulder wound? Having no other option, he drew his own sword and blocked the soldiers blow. It was hard to do so with only one hand, but he needed the other to control the horse. At the sound of the colliding metal, the soldiers horse panicked, throwing the soldier to the floor.

'_Stroke of luck' _he thought to himself, and he then focused all his attention on picking up enough speed to catch up with Rinoa. He could still hear her screaming, but it was starting to fade away, meaning either she was getting further away, or she was running out of breath. Both were equally bad. Squall wasn't sure whether the horse could actually travel any faster, it had already over taken all of the soldiers except the man with Rinoa and the man riding alongside him. Closing his eyes and hoping for the best Squall sharply kicked the side of the horse and it started to run at an even faster pace, soon catching up to the two soldiers to the extent that Squall could just hear them yelling to one another.

"It is the royal guard! I think one have them has almost caught up with us"

"Holy hell" cried the soldier who was holding the now completely silent Rinoa. He was probably very surprised that a member of the royal guard could catch them up. Squall knew exactly what soldiers though of the Royal guard. He used to think it to. Soldiers usually saw them as men who weren't quite manly enough to become a real soldier and face a real war. It was only now that Squall was realising it was in fact a very hard job to do. He also did not know whether these soldiers had any idea that he could hear them.

"We must abandon the plan!" one soldier called

"What? But is this not why we came here?"

"Yes. But we have to! If we abandon the girl he will have to stop to help her and we will have a chance to get away. If he catches us we would face royal arrest. Surely he is more concerned with saving her than catching us"

"Alright" the other agreed reluctantly.

Squall was extremely worried by this. They were just going to ditch Rinoa?

What if they had already killed her? Squall squinted into the trees, but he still couldn't see. What were they going to do with Rinoa? But his question was quickly answered when he heard a large splashing sound. Then he heard the solider call "lets just get out of here!"

But the splashing concerned him more. The forest ran alongside a vast lake. Surely they had not…

Squall pulled the horse to a sudden halt and jumped off. He ran through the forest and onto the path that over looked the lake. Looking down, he saw there was someone splashing and struggling in the water, and it was Rinoa. But suddenly all the movement stopped and that was when Squall became very concerned and he knew exactly what he had to do. It was his only option. He shed any weight he could afford to lose-his belt, his sword and the two outer layers he wore over his shirt-closed his eyes and dived into the water below.

The distance was not particularly far, but as soon as he hit the water, the impact hurt like hell, the water was ice cold and much deeper than he had thought.

Holding his breath and dropping underwater he looked around for princess Rinoa. He could see her delicate form sinking to the bottom at the other side of the lake. Luckily Squall was a good swimmer, Balamb after all was surrounded by water and there was not always a lot to do, so Squall had taught himself to swim, although he never knew it would actually come in helpful. But it was very very helpful now. He dropped his body underwater and pushed himself through the cold lake, taking about 20 seconds to make it over to Rinoa. He came up for air and then dipped underwater again, pulling his weight down to the bottom of the lake and scooped the motionless Princess up in his arms. He pushed back up to the surface and pulled the girl along to the side of the lake which was not to far. When he finally reached solid ground he carefully laid the princess down, and reluctantly-because of the very cold winds- took off his now-wet, one remaining shirt and bundled it up, supporting the girls head. The icy wind was hitting his skin and freezing him completely, the fact that he was soaking wet only made it so much worse. He was likely to catch his death of cold at this rate. His wet fringe dripped water down his face and beads of water were dripping down his back, chest and shoulders. He roughly pushed his dripping fringe back out of his eyes and focusede on waking up the princess. It was not surprising she had past out through all of it. "Princess' he said giving the girl a little shake and brushing her dark hair out of her face. But after a minute or so he still received no response. And suddenly a dreadful thought occurred to him; what if she was not just unconscious? He placed his fingers on the side of her neck, searching for a pulse and in that moment all of his worst fears were confirmed.

Rinoa-the daughter of King Caraway, the crowned Princess of Galbadia and the girl he was supposed to be protecting-was not breathing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**No!!!! poor Rinoa!! Is she really dead? Well obviously squall will have to do something……………….because he's the sexy heroic guard.  
Btw sorry if that chapter wasn't great I kind of am not good at writing kind of stuff where stuff actually happens lol i am better at fluff were people just go round saying fluffy things or hiding there feelings. but well i tried  
I'll update soon if people want me too. Review and let me know what you think of the chapter. And p.s, I have been replying to all your reviews but I dunno if you got them because I think the message system is down. Thanks you guys xx**


	7. Darkest night, highest hopes

**Disclaimer: I don't own ff8. Alas, Squall is not _my_ Sexy heroic guard!**

**A/N: Well hello! Wow, up to chapter 7 already. Can't believe it. I am having so much fun writing this story! Ok many thanks to all who reviewed last chapter; crazyturkey, -Cinderella-princess-, FF8fan, chibi-san,r, endingstar, RinoaLnhrt, General Wyvern, woven bamboo pattern, Rinny Leonheart, cerulean crystal, lilnaych and Teresa You guys all rock! Ok so after the end of last chapter some of y'all were worried I was gonna kill Rinoa off….no no no definitely not hehe. I couldn't do that, I'd cry! Squall of course does something to save her…I mean c'mon he's Squall. But seriously I am glad I managed to make you all feel a lil something when Rinoa 'died', and hopefully y'all will be happy now you know she's soo not getting killed off. Read on and see for yourselves lol. Enjoy and let me know what you think.**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**-darkest night,highest hopes- **

"**I**s she…dead?' he whispered to himself in utter shock and confusion. Dead? Gone? Just like that? He checked her pulse again, hoping he was mistaken, but he had not been.

"This cant be happening!"

Squall knew he had to something. Only what? Given that there were no visible signs of serious harm on her body it was likely she had drowned. And Squall could think of only one thing to do…….It was a revolutionary method that he had learnt in the army, it was not tried, tested or approved, but it was his only option. He desperately tried to remember the procedure; force to the heart and re-circulate air. Hoping for the best, he placed both hands on her chest, just above her heart and pushed down hard 3 times.

"Come on Princess, please do not do this to me" he whispered.

But despite his efforts nothing seemed to happen, no movement, no sign of life. Squall cursed. Why was this happening? He leant down and opened lips slightly before breathing air into her mouth. But still he had no success. He repeated this several times but still nothing changed. He could feel the sensation of defeat spreading through his whole body. He had failed. Spectacularly. And in the moment he felt an incredible sadness . Squall, as a solider, had seen death many times, he had even taken lives. But this was different, there were so many implications and complications. Firstly he knew it was more than likely that he would lose his life over this. The King and Sir Seifer would be looking for someone to blame and more than likely it would be Squall. The fact that neither of them had even tried to help Rinoa would be disregarded, the fact that squall had tried and failed would be focused on. So the girl that lay silent and still in front of him did not only represent the loss of one life, but possibly and probably two.  
Furthermore, her death was the end of any future hope for an empire currently ruled by more of a tyrant than a king. Rinoa would have made a far better queen, but that chance had been taken. But above all that Rinoa was a nice person. She was innocent and good, young and beautiful. To Squall, the loss of one innocent life was far worse than the loss of a thousand lives in a war. War was war. Soldiers were soldiers. They acted unjustly on the part of there own countries interests, they were trained to accept everyday and every battle may be there last. But Rinoa she wasn't prepared, and she had never done anything harmful to anyone.

As Squall looked at her still form he also felt guilt, extreme guilt. This had all been done by the Balamb army, something he used to be part of. If circumstances had been at all different he may have stayed in the army and he may have been the one carrying out this order. Although maybe he was better in the army because he had failed as a guard. All of this emotion was too much for squall, he'd never really felt this way before. It was confusing and causing him to ask too many questions. What if he'd have been quicker, fought faster? All of this in a split second. A wave of anger and grief taking over, he slammed his fist down hard on the girls chest, before burying his head in his hands. But out of the corner of his eye he saw a flicker of movement. Rinoa moved her head to the side and flicked her eyes open for a second but then closed them again.

Was she alive? Just for a split second? Was this his chance? Quickly he leant down and breathed air into her throat while keeping pressure on her chest. In a sudden quick motion , the girl turned her head and began to cough, water spurting out of her mouth. She was alive!!! Swiftly, Squall placed his hands under her and pulled her so she was sitting upright. She continued to cough for a few more seconds, before she collapsed forward, leaning her weight against his chest "Squall!" she whispered quietly as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him.

"It is alright, it is going to be fine" he said wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly to him. He was just glad she was alive.

"I was so scared" she whispered "I was so scared, I could feel myself slipping away but…I did not want to go…but it was like I could not fight it…it was horrible" she whispered between her sobs.

"Sssh. It's over now Princess" he said softly as he smoothed some of her tangled hair

"I am very sorry"

"Why? Y-you should not apologise…you saved my life"

"It was far to close Princess. I failed to save you, I was just lucky enough to bring you back" Squall knew Sir Seifer and Rinoas father would see it this way. He would more than likely still be branded a failure and punished in some way for letting it get as far as it had.

"You are bleeding" she said suddenly, touching the wound on his shoulder

With all the panic and drama, Squall had completely forgotten about it, but as soon as he remembered he felt the pain come back "I will be fine Princess. It is you I am concerned about, we should get back. Are you alright now?"

"Yes, thank you. Except…my arm hurts"

Squall saw that there was a very deep cut around the top of her arm that was dripping blood onto her dress.

"We should do something about that" Squall said. He couldn't help thinking that the one sense in which Rinoa was lucky to have him as her guard was that he was basically medically trained, because she seemed to injure herself a lot. It was his fault though, wasn't it his job to stop that happening?

Using what he could remember from his training, he took the shirt Rinoa had been laying on and ripped part of it off. He then tied it around the princess' arm to keep pressure on the wound.

"Thank you so much Squall. But what do we now?"

"Well I am deciding whether it is safe yet to return to the castle. I have no idea what happened in there. I also have no idea where your father or Sir Seifer are."

"I do not care" Rinoa said, almost as a whisper

Squall was actually quite shocked by this. It wasn't that he disagreed -to him Seifer and the King were both arrogant and selfish men- it was just that he was shocked to hear a princess say such things.

"I suppose you know think me heartless" She said, her eyes cast down to the ground

"Not at all princess"

"they…they seem not to care at all about my life. Why should I be so concerned about their safety when they left me behind to die?"

"I know princess, I can not believe what they did"

"I suppose I am lucky to have you then. You seem to be there when I need somebody"

"It is my job Princess. And I am lucky that my job requires me to work with someone who I believe is truly worth saving. If I was a guard to your father I do not see myself jumping into any lakes to save him your highness. Although I mean no disrespect, I hope that does not offend you"

"Not at all. I know exactly what my father is like. But surely with me, you must get tired of guarding someone who seems to get into as much trouble as I do"

"I could not tire of you Princess. You are one of the few good people left. Now, everyone seems so corrupt it is rare to find someone truly good."

"Like you" Rinoa said

It was times like this when Squall realised that as nice and good as Rinoa was, she could be highly naïve. Because Squall knew himself he was far from a good person. He was a soldier. He was a trained killer. He was at one point renowned for an ability to kill people with ease, speed and emotionlessly. Squall had lost count of how many lives he had taken during his time as a soldier. Even now he was no longer involved in all that he was still a traitor and a liar.

"I am far from a good person. Just because I saved your life….well that only proves I am good at my job, not that I am a good person".

Looking at her face, Squall could see Rinoa wasn't quite sure what to say. But he spoke again, not giving her a chance to say anything. "we really should start to head back I think, it should be safe. Although the horse I came here on has more than likely gone"

"We will have to walk" Rinoa said "it should only take an hour or so"

'_An hour or so' _Squall thought _'easy for her to say, shes not bleeding from a stab wound in her shoulder…then again I suppose I have no choice'_

Almost as if she had been sharing his thoughts Rinoa said "But we must do something about your shoulder. She took what was left of Squalls shirt folded it up and held it against the wound "if you keep it there a few seconds, perhaps it will help the bleeding" she said

"It will. Then we will leave"

Although Squall was actually not looking forward to arriving back at the castle. There would be a huge mess. How many had died there? Plus, Sir Seifer and the King were bound to return sooner rather than later. Squall could only hope that he and Rinoa would arrive back before the king so he would not see the state Rinoa was in. This would actually not be the first time he had returned her soaking wet and injured.

Rinoa, who was looking up into the stars said suddenly "Do you think they will come back? The Balamb army I mean? come back for…me?"

"I do not know to be very honest, they may presume you dead for now, but they may attack again soon"

"The Balamb army killed my mother. I hate them…it looks like I am next" she said, tears starting to stream down her face

"I will not let them harm you Princess, I will not let anyone harm you"

"How can I ever thank you enough, you saved my life" she whispered

She was now pretty close to him. Too close. Squall did not need to get himself into that situation again. Last time he had been that close to that girl he had ended up kissing her. Which was highly wrong in his opinion. "We should leave" he said quickly standing up

"Wait, surely you will freeze to death…you have no shirt"

Squall noticed that although Rinoa looked concerned she did not look entirely unhappy at the fact he was shirtless…….

"I will be fine. My things are up there" he pointed up to the cliff he had jumped off "I had to leave them there when I jumped in"

They walked along the path that lead around the lake and gradually up to where Squall had left all his stuff.

When they reached the top Rinoa peered over the edge "I can not believe you jumped off there!" she said

"I had no choice" he said as he picked up all his things. He wrapped one of the layers he had left and wrapped it around Rinoa so she did not freeze from being so wet. He put the rest of his stuff back on and grabbed his sword and then they both started the long and inevitable journey back to the castle. Half of the journey was silent until Rinoa said "Squall, may I ask you something?"

"Of course princess"

"That pendant you wear, the lion. Why do you wear it always? Is it special to you?"

"I have had it along time. It used to represent something I wanted to be. I suppose…

I suppose I wanted to be like a lion…strong, noble, proud"

"Used to want to be?"

"I will never be these things. I have done nothing in my life to take pride for. And I am far from noble"

"Are you?"

"I am a guard princess"

"Yes, but maybe being noble is more than status, more than what you are born too. Maybe nobility is defined by your actions, your heart, your compassion to others. In that way I see you as being noble. And courageous and heroic"

Squall felt extremely bad. He was lying to her, deceiving her completely. She knew nothing of who he really was.

"With due respect your highness, I am none of those things. I am not good enough to be anyones hero"

Rinoa didn't say anything and they carried on walking in silence the rest of the way back.

When they arrived at the castle, Squall said "Stay behind me, just in case there is still any danger"

"I hope…I hope it was not too bad. My fathers friends and of course…Selphie! I hope she is alright"

Reluctantly Squall entered the castle, sharing Rinoas hope that there had not been too much of a massacre. Then again he knew the Balamb army. They weren't the type to go easy on anyone, they left a trail of death and destruction everywhere they went. But the whole castle was quiet. Eerily quiet.

"Squall, Princess Rinoa" one of the other guards said, approaching them. He was bruised and beaten and looked exhausted

"are you alright?" Squall asked

"yes, I am fine. We managed to hold out against the soldiers until they withdrew. Sadly 5 guests were killed, many were injured. Sir Seifer and the King have returned safely though and prince Irvine was unharmed."

"What about Selphie?" Rinoa asked clearly panicked.

"Princess, Seliphie is fine, I believe she was with Prince Irvine and his guards. Are you alright princess? And why are you soaking wet?"

"It is a long story" Squall sighed

"Well you had better be prepared to explain" came the booming voice of King caraway from behind them "because I am far from impressed"

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Well there we go! Ooooh king caraway is one cross king. What will he have in store for Squall then? What is it hes not pleased about hmmmm?**

**and see Squall (being sexy and heroic) saved Rinoa and shes alive now. Yippee! Go squall!!! (well if I thought he'd give me mouth to mouth I'd be only to happy to jump in a lake hahaha) but seriously I hope you enjoyed this chapter review and let me know what you think of it and I'll update soon. Coming soon chapter 8: 'the blame game'.**


	8. The blame game

**Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8. I own this story. And that's about it.**

**A/N: well another chapter of the tale of the princess and her sexy guard muhahaha. Many thanks to all who reviewed last chapter r, crazy turkey, sparx, cerulean crystal, chibi-san, lilnaych, EmoDiva, and Rinny Leonhart. You all rock! Well we've got crazy king caraway now and he did not seem too happy with Squall. (poor little hot guy) but what is the Kings problem? Well read on and see heheheheh…..**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-the blame game-**

**R**inoa and Squall both turned around to see Caraway striding down the stairs, Seifer behind him, then followed by Prince Irvine and Selphie.

"Rinoa!" Selphie ran down the stairs and hugged Rinoa "I am so glad you are alright!"

"you too! I was so worried. What happened here?"

"it was horrible, there were so many of them. Everyone was running around and trying to get out. I think everyone is gone now but we have been so worried awaiting your return"

"Yes" the King said clearly irritated "you have kept us waiting a long time Rinoa"

"I am glad you are safe father"

"I am sure. Now maybe you would care to explain to me what is going on"

Rinoa could not understand why her father was so angry. Surely he should just be glad she was alive. If circumstances had been just a little different she would not be.

When she did not say anything, the king said "Excuse me Prince Irvine, mistress Selphie, but I must excuse my daughter and I, so we may talk privately. Selphie I believe you are already staying here anyway, but Prince Irvine you are welcome to stay if you wish save returning to Dollet so late"

"Thank you King Caraway, I think I shall"

"Rinoa, please come with me" the king said, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her along the corridor "you too" he hissed at Squall who reluctantly followed them down the corridor and in to an empty room.

"Well?" Caraway demanded after shutting the door

"Well what Sir" Rinoa asked. What did it really matter what had happened if she was alive.

"Would you care to tell me what happened and why you are returning in such a state as you are. Both of you return injured and soaked to the skin. I demand to know what happened"

"Father, I am tired" Rinoa sighed "Can we not just speak in the morning"

"No"

Becoming increasingly irritated by her fathers attitude, Rinoa briefly explained what had happened, with the soldiers and the lake. Or at least what she understood to have happened, some of it was a blur. She remembered being grabbed and dragged through the forest on the horse and she remembered the feeling of being dropped in water, but the next thing she remembered was feeling a strange sensation, like she was slipping away, but at the same time something was holding her and pulling her back. Then she woke up looking into Squalls eyes. And that's all she knew.

"You" the king said to Squall "tell me exactly what happened as my daughter claims not to remember it all"

"Sir" Squall said with a bow. Rinoa could see all over his face how annoyed he was and by the looks of things how much he was trying to stop himself telling her father exactly where to go. "your daughter…drowned. I jumped into get her, but she wasn't breathing. So I revived her Sir, so to speak. Then I brought her back here"

"I ought to fire you on the spot" Caraway said disgustedly

"What?" Rinoa couldn't stop herself crying out. He wanted to fire Squall? Why on earth would he want to do that…if it wasn't for Squall she would be dead.

"Excuse me Sir" Squall asked

"What else did you expect, returning my child in such a state"

"that is hardly fair sir" he protested, as politely as he could

"Aside form anything else, you seem to show a complete disregard for my authority" the king fumed

"Forgive me, I meant no disrespect, I only meant that…"

"Silence!"

The way he yelled and went very red would have made Rinoa laugh was the situation not so serious and her father not so scary

"father" she said, not giving either him or Squall a chance to say anything else "you can not fire him, he saved my life"

"Barely. And look at the sate you are in. Bleeding and soaking wet..."

"At least I am alive!"

"Regardless. You would not have been put in such a compromising situation in the first place if he had been doing his job. You are lucky I am being lenient in ending his service, I could rightly have him executed for this"

Executed! Had he really said that? Rinoa was becoming incredibly angry and for what was probably the first time in her life, she snapped

"At least he tried to help me! Which is more than can be said for you!"

As soon as she said it though, she was made to regret it as her father quickly and painfully slapped her across the side of her face.

"You would dare to disrespect your own father!"

Rinoa was completely shocked and placed her hand on the now sore side of her face. Her father had a temper, but he had never actually hit her before. But glancing over at her guard she saw he looked a lot more angry than shocked and he was clenching his fists at his side, probably about 3 seconds away from hitting someone

"Seeing as my daughter seems so insistent" the king addressed Squall "I will give you a chance to explain your self"

"I did the best I could your majesty"

"If this is your best then it is far from good enough. And how exactly did you revive my daughter?"

"Mouth to mouth Sir"

"Do you really think that was appropriate?" the king demanded

"I…"

But Rinoa interrupted him, She knew if he answered back he would face more punishment than he may already be in for.

"Squall" she said turning to him "Just go, I will sort things here"

"But…."

"Go, please"

He sighed and then said "Yes Princess"

He bowed and left the room, slamming the door on the way out.

"Arrogant fool" the King muttered

"Father, he is not so bad. You can not punish him, after all he saved my life. I would not be standing here if it were not for him"

"Why are you so concerned in defending this man?" her father asked suspiciously

Rinoa had to think quickly of a reason she could tell her father. Some of her own reasons she could certainly not tell him, foremost of them being she was attracted to Squall in some way and she couldn't deny it even if she tried. She just was not entirely sure what it was about him. He was undeniably good looking with the captivating blue eyes and all the flicky brown hair but there was more than that. Maybe it was that he actually seemed to care.

"Because…because I am grateful to him for saving my life. Please let him stay father, he is good at his job. And surely it would be more hassle for you to have to replace him"

"Fine" the king conceded "I am tired of this argument anyway. Tell your guard he can stay but to consider this a formal warning. One more step out of line and he is gone. I am returning to my chambers for the night now as it is a ridiculous hour. Tomorrow evening you will dine with myself and Prince Irvine, and please arrive in a better sate than that in which you appeared in his presence tonight. Goodnight" he said, before leaving her alone in the room.

Suddenly Rinoa realised where her fathers concern actually lay. Prince Irvines impression of her. She was more certain than ever that her father was up to something regarding her and prince Irvine, but right then she didn't concern herself with that, that would be tomorrows issue. For now she had to find Squall and tell him the issue was resolved. It was then that it occurred to Rinoa she actually had no idea were Squall would be. More than likely in his room, but she had no idea where that was. The castle was large with several wings, and many many rooms. Her rooms were on the top floor but staff quarters were somewhere on the bottom floor, with the exception of Sir Seifers room which was much more comfortable than the rest of the staffs and was down the hall from Rinoas.

On the top floor was Rinoas quarters, Seifers room and several guestrooms some at the moment being occupied by her father, Prince Irvine and some of his staff and Selphie. On the lower floor was the banquet room, the ballrooms and the main rooms. With all those rooms being towards the front of the building, she assumed the staff rooms to be towards the back. As she wandered around the castle she felt ever so slightly stupid. How could she not know the way around her own home? Eventually she found what she believed to be Squalls room,-which she only managed because she encountered one of her other guards who pointed her in the right direction-and knocked on the door.

"yes?" he called form the other side

"It is me. Rinoa"

Squall opened the door looking highly shocked to see her

"Yes Princess?"

"May I come in?"

Squall didn't actually say anything, he just headed back into the room and left the door open for her to follow. The first thing she noticed was how unbelievably cold, dark and empty his room was. This part of the castle must have been the worst part. It was cold, and very much just stone walls. The second thing she noticed was that Squall was still not wearing a shirt and that was rather distracting. It was evident now, just from looking at him, that he had definitely been a soldier at some point. Not just because he had the toned physique of someone who had obviously spent a lot of time training and such like, but because there were cuts and scars of all different sizes running in various directions across various parts of his chest. But then Rinoa noticed something even more worrying; Squall was piling what little stuff he owned onto the bed

"What are you doing?" she asked him

"Packing"

"You do not have to, I spoke to my father and sorted it as I said I would, you are not being made to leave"

Squall looked at her, and then went back to what he was doing without saying a word

"why are you still packing? You are staying." Rinoa said again, starting to become slightly confused. Why was he still packing?

"No…I am not."

"but...the whole thing it is sorted. So why would you be leaving?"

"Because, Princess Rinoa…I quit"

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Oh no! he can't do that! She is so obviously falling for him! how can he leave her! Foolish man!!!!! Curse that King Caraway…it's all his fault. Hahaha let me know what you think guys. I'll update soon xx coming next chapter 9: 'Reasons beyond Reason'**


	9. Reasons beyond Reason

**Disclaimer: here I am, not owning ff8**

**A/N: Ah hallo!!!!!!!!! Another chapter for y'all. Of course mucho thanks must go to: Teresa Pham, woven bamboo pattern, ****dole pwnz0rs los trombonez0...****, chibi-san, r, cerulean crystal, EmoDiva, delicateprincess, rinny Leonheart, rosesRred16, kiki 28 and lilnaych. Thanks for the support. Ok another chapter…so squall was going to Quit…will Rinoa make him stay…lets see……..just want to say. There is a perspective change in this chapter, it is clear when. It was just done rather than having such a short chapter and then changing to a new chapter. Anyway..enjoy.**

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**-Reasons beyond reason-**

**R**inoa could not quite believe what she was hearing. Squall was going to quit? How cad he do that? How could he do that to her?

"W-what?" She asked confusedly

"I am quitting Princess, I am leaving."

"Why?" Rinoa demanded

"Because." was the only response she received.

"Because, is not an answer Squall" she said, a little stiffly. Why was he being so cold all of a sudden?

"I am leaving because I do not see the point in me staying here anymore."

Rinoa could not believe he was coming out with this. How could there be no reason for him to stay? Why wasn't she his reason to stay? He had seemed so determined to save her life and now he was just going to abandon his duties? Abandon her?

"how can you not see a point to stay? It is your job!"

"you do not need me here Princess"

Why was he being so damn stubborn? Why was he so determined to leave?

"How can I not need you here? You are my guard."

"One of several. You have other guards, they will protect you. It is clear your father does not trust me or want me here. If he does not want me here, and I do not want to be here then what is the reason behind staying?"

Rinoa felt her eyes fill up with tears. How could he be saying any of this. It was like he hadn't even taken into account how she might feel. Rinoa had absolutely no idea exactly what she did feel about Squall, she just knew she didn't want him to leave. He was the only person who had ever seemed to care. However it was now very evident from all this that he didn't really care at all. If he cared he would not just go.

"You can not just leave!" Rinoa insisted

"I am sure if it is against any kind of rule to do so, your father will be willing to ignore it and just be glad to be rid of me. Seifer too."

"Are you scared of them?" Rinoa asked. Was that what this was about?

Squall looked slightly amused "Scared of your father and Sir Seifer. I do not think so. The only fear I have is that I am wasting my time here. So I am going, tonight."

"Squall…." Rinoa was becoming slightly annoyed now. He had totally disregarded her feelings "you told me that I was one of the people worth protecting. Why did that suddenly change?"

"Maybe it was because your father wanted to have me executed after I risked my own life, to save yours. I must say, tit takes ungratefulness to a whole new level."

"But….I am grateful Squall, does that not count for anything?"

"Yes, Princess, it does. And I am very glad that you are alright."

"But how can you guarantee that I will be alright in the future if you just leave."

"Like I said, you have other guards. Besides I am sure Seifer will have no trouble whatsoever replacing me"

Something about Squalls reasoning did not seem completely right. Was he hiding something from her? Was their a different reason for him leaving, that he was just not saying? Was it her? Did he just…hate her?

"What is this really about, Squall? Have I done something to offend you?"

"No." he said quickly.

Suddenly something occurred to Rinoa; was this about what had happened earlier that night? …That kiss? But it had only been one kiss. Rinoa thought back to that moment…why had she kissed him? She was upset and he was there to comfort her. That was the rational explanation. But deep down, Rinoa knew there was something else, there was something about this man in particular. He seemed to actually care about her and that was very appealing as no one in her life had cared about her, until Squall came along.

Of all of her staff, she saw the guards the most, and her other guards she did not really like. They were all much older, Sir Seifer being the youngest at 25. And of all of them, Rinoa hated Sir Seifer the most. He had only got the job because of his connection with her father, but Rinoa was not really sure what this connection was and it sometimes worried her. Rinoa knew the King used Seifer to monitor her behaviour and the King proceeded to give Seifer permission to give Rinoa orders, despite the fact she was the princess. He was like the right hand man of the King, and all of the guards were afraid of him, so they treated Rinoa with crippling formality as not to be seen to step even an inch out of line. Until Squall….

It was not that Squall was not respectful of her authority, it was just that he also was able to see her as a person. Rinoa had no choice but to admit to herself that she was incredibly attracted to her guard.

"is this about before….when I…kissed you?" Rinoa asked bravely.

"No. I mean yes, I mean…that was a mistake but it is not why I am leaving."

A mistake? That hurt. She was just his…mistake?

"So you are just going to leave. Just like that?"

"Yes."

" I can not believe you are doing this to me."

"Hw am I doing anything to you? This will not affect you, they will find you a new guard."  
"Do you think that is what this is about? Do you think I see you as just a guard?"

"I am just a guard."

Rinoa was starting to tire of Squall a little. He was kind, and brave and attractive, but oh was he blind.

"If that is what you think, then you a not a very good one, if you plan to just abandon me, leave me unguarded."

'"You seem to have missed the point, that I am not the only guard. My leaving will only mean that for once Sir Seifer may actually have to do something close to his job."

"I do not care about Seifer! He is nothing to do with this. Do you not see that the only person you will hurt by leaving is me!" Rinoa only realised when she saw the shocked look on Squalls face that she had been yelling. And she did not even stop there. "You know what it is like here, you know how unhappy it makes me and you know I feel better when you are here. Why, why are you not considering that if I do not need you to stay I may still want you to!"

"What about what I want? What if I want to leave. I have no reason to stay."

"You do!"

"Then go ahead, give me one reason, one reason why I should stay here."

Rinoa, by this point had lost all control of her reasoning. All these thoughts were floating around her head. He was going to leave….she had to stop him……

Without even thinking, she reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

------------

That had not been what Squall was expecting…at all. It did not even make sense. Why did this seem to keep happening? He had asked for a reason to stay, but if anything, this was more of a reason to leave. This was something Squall had a habit of doing-getting himself into the most awkward situation possible.

What was he supposed to do now? His initial instinct was to kiss her back but that was something he knew he had to fight.

As gently as he could, he pushed Rinoa way from him.

"That was... wrong" he sighed

"Why?"

Why? Why?? Did she not get this at all?

"I am your guard. I am supposed to be protecting you…not kissing you."

"it was just a kiss." She said quietly

Squall was having a difficult time dealing with this situation. He did not want to hurt Rinoa, but regardless of whether or not he was attracted to her, he knew that he was quickly hitting a situation that was spiralling out of control. Every time he saw Rinoa she seemed more emotional and seemed to get more and more close to him.

"It should not have happened."

"Please do not leave Squall…please…I need you here." she whispered

"you do not need me, you just like me. And it is not me…you just like the idea of having someone to be close to…."

At that moment the door opened and Sir Seifer barged in.

He looked at Squall and then at Rinoa "What is going on here?"

"Nothing…I was just leaving." Rinoa said quickly "Goodbye Squall, goodbye Seifer."

Then she hurried from the room.

"yes?" Squall said to Seifer

":what happened tonight?"

"what do you mean?"

"I mean you supposedly went chasing after the army! I suppose you know that while you were off doing that, 5 people died here"

This was unbelievable. Was Seifer actually blaming him? He wasn't even going to try and argue anymore.

"that is terrible" was all he said

"Well it doesn't look too good for the Kingdom. Anyway, I only came to tell you I will see to Princess Rinoa, you can have the day off considering your condition, but tomorrow evening Prince Irvine and the King will be dining here with Rinoa and you will be there. I trust you have no objections…seeing as how King Caraway has already been lenient with you…"

What was the point in trying to leave. First they wanted him gone, now they were making him stay. What did these people want from him? What did Rinoa want from him. They wanted him to be just a dutiful guard. She seemed to want more.

"I'll be there" Squall finally sighed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**So there we go. Hes staying yippee! Ooh next chapter we have diner with prince rivine and much more! Hope you liked xx**


	10. Tommorows issues today

**Disclaimer: don't own ff8**

**A/N: hey hey. Another chapter! So much thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter, it is so much appreciated! R, teresa pham, lionhearted, rosesRred16, delicate princess, chibi san, woven bamboo pattern, cerulean crystal, rinny Leonheart, crazy turkey, shohei, d****ole pwnz0rs los trombonez0...****,emoDiva, lilnaych and ma zellycat! Enjoy the chapter y'all..**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**D**inner was a grand affair the next evening-everyone seemed to be making a special effort for prince Irvine. Squall was not exactly looking forward to dinner at all. He hated seeing King Caraway ever, as for some reason he seemed to loathe him. He was also not Prince Irvine's biggest fan and he wasn't sure if he was ready to se Rinoa yet.

He was glad he didn't have to see her all day because he had no idea what he would say to her. Was he supposed to say something and risk upsetting her or say nothing, as if nothing had happened?

When all 3 people arrived and started to eat, Squall just stood there while Caraway kept shooting suspicious glances in Squalls direction, obviously assuming he was trying to listen to their conversation and could hear what they were saying. Which of course, he could. He could hear every word they said, he was just subtle enough not to get caught.

"It is terrible what happened here." Prince Irvine was saying.

"Most certainly" The King agreed "All though there could have been more loss, I suppose we were lucky."

"Quite true" Irvine nodded taking a sip of wine "but there will be some kind of service, for those who died I assume?"

"But of course." Caraway said "I will be calling a formal Imperial funeral. But let us speak of such dark things no longer."

"Indeed." Irvine smiled at Rinoa "We have better things to discuss."

"Pardon?" Rinoa said as if she had not been really listening. And Squall knew she had not been listening because she had spent the entire meal so far staring downwards at the table.

"Well our engagement of course." Irvine said

"What, what are you talking about?????."

"You and Irvine are to be married." Caraway said calmly.

Squall could tell from the look on Rinoas face that she knew absolutely nothing about this.

"What if I do not want to marry Prince Irvine?" Rinoa said determinedly

The King looked instantly furious and said to Irvine "Apologies Prince Irvine, Please excuse my daughter and I"

Then he stood up, grabbed Rinoa and dragged her out of the room and into the corridor.

Irvine, meanwhile, started to fiddle with his ponytail, using the silver serving tray as a mirror. So without him noticing Squall edged over to the door and observed what was happening the corridor..

"How dare you be so rude?" The king yelled at his daughter. In a way it sort of amused Squall how much of a double standard it all was. If anyone else yelled at Rinoa that way and Squall just stood there he would be accused of being a bad guard, but if he interrupted the King he would be punished for not knowing his place.

"how dare you try to marry me off to someone whom I would never want to marry"

"You are my daughter, it is my choice."

"What? Why is not my choice. You can not just give my life away!"

"Of course I can and you will not disobey me! Now you will return to Dinner and you will not act this way again or you will be punished." He said before dragging Rinoa back into the room.

"Apologies Prince Irvine." he said "Where were we?"

"About when you decided you would marry me off to a complete stranger." Rinoa yelled, quite suddenly

"Alright" the king boomed "I have had quite enough of you Rinoa. Get out. I will deal with you later. Just go."

"Gladly!" Rinoa said, running from the room looking as if she was about to cry.

"Maybe she will come around to the idea." Irvine sighed.

"I would not count on it, she is a stubborn and difficult girl. But there are ways of bringing her around. She will of course be punished for the way she has treated you." King Caraway clicked his fingers "You, guard" he said to Squall.

"yes Sir." Squall said. He seriously hated doing anything for King Caraway, because he really could not stand him.

"Go after her. Lock her in her room and do not let her out until tomorrow evening. She will not be allowed any contact with anyone until I come and see her then."

Squall did not want to be any part of this. It was overly cruel. He could not do that to Rinoa, she had not even done anything

"Sir, I…"

"And bear in mind, my daughter can be very manipulative. Do not let her trick you into letting her out. This may be your chance to redeem yourself for that horrible incident last night"

"Yes your highness." he said reluctantly. What choice did he really have? He was after all , only a guard.

Squall left the room and found Rinoa sitting in an empty room just along the corridor.

"princess, I am taking you to your room." Squall said firmly. He knew if he did not do this it would be trouble and he knew there was no room for weakness here. If he hesitated he would end up being convinced not to do it.

"Why?"

"It is your fathers order that I take you there, and…and keep you there overnight and until tomorrow."

"What? My father has given you the order to imprison me?"

"Yes." Squall said. What else was it, really?

"And you are going to carry it out?" she asked disbelievingly

"Why would I not? Your father gave me an order. I am a guard, so I follow his orders."

"What happened to you Squall?" she asked sadly.

"What is that supposed to mean, Princess?"

"You used to think for yourself. And you never used to side with my father."

"Princess, I do not agree with what your father is doing, but I have to do it. I am on thin ice here and you know it. Besides if it were any other guard you would not be surprised"

"But…it is you Squall. And I thought you were different."

"I am just a guard. I am just like the rest. Please do not make this difficult Princess."

"I refuse to go willingly." Rinoa said, crossing her arms.

Squall did not feel right with the whole situation, but he knew he had no choice. He reached out and grabbed her arm, then dragged her down the corridor and up the stairs to her room.

"Please do not do this." Rinoa said as he sat her down on her bed and took the key to the door form the little shelf "Please Squall."

Squall took a deep breath. " I am sorry. But please try to understand why I am doing this." he said before closing the door and locking it.

Then he stood there. The whole night. He had to try and block out the sound of Rinoa banging on the door for the first half hour, yelling for him to let her out, then eventually it just faded into soft crying. That was harder to black out. It was a horrible sound, and every sob filled Squall with such guilt. He didn't want to upset her, but he clearly had. That probably solved the issue of the worrying closeness they seemed to be developing, she probably hated him now. Things just seemed to go from bad to worse for Squall.

------------------------------------------------------

The service held for those who died was held exactly one week on from that night. The day on which it took place seemed to mirror the atmosphere of the day. It was cold and dull, the snow that had been falling for nearly two weeks covering the whole ground. The snow looked comparatively white against the black everyone wore to mourn those who had died. Rinoa felt quite guilty as she was not even completely sure who had died. She did not know everyone at the party and people seemed to avoid discussing the issue around her. she had just been told to attend the party as everyone else was going to be there. And looking around she saw this was true, almost everyone was there. Her father, other leaders, Selphie, Prince Irvine and his guards, his Jester Friend who seemed to go every where with him as well as many other people she did not know.

Her own guards were constantly walking up and down, patrolling. Except for Sir Seifer who was sitting down by the king while the rest patrolled. Everyone was still on high alert for the Balamb army, just in case they decided to attack again.

The priest was standing up and delivering some sort of service but it was all going over Rinoas head. Just one thought kept going through her mind; this was her fault. All these people were dead because of her. It was her party, her the army had come after. These thoughts had been playing on her mind the whole week now. The whole week in general had been the worst of her life. Her father had spent a week yelling at her about Prince Irvine and her duty to her country and she had spent the whole week trying to avoid Squall. She was still upset by what he had done that night. How could he have gone through with that , even if it was an order.

Deep down, she felt betrayed. Somehow she had thought Squall was different to all the rest, maybe she had hoped he would stand up for her. But he hadn't. It turned out he was just like the rest.

It had been relatively easy for her to avoid him as she sensed he was trying to do the same, given how little she had seen of him. Most of her reports had been delivered by the other guards for the last few days.

Maybe he was avoiding her because he felt guilty, if he even had a heart.

Rinoa could see him walking around , but he avoided making eye contact with her, even when he walked right next to her. And that annoyed her. What right did he have to giver her the cold treatment, she was not the one in the wrong. But Rinoa did not want to have to be this way with him. She much preferred it when she saw him. Spoke to him. Got on with him. He used to make her days bearable. Now he just made her hurt.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

**Squall is so silly! Look what you've done Squall! Well next chapter…we have more of this servicey funeral thing…and Rinoa hears something she does not want to….and who should be there to comfort her……hmm I wonder**


	11. Sub Rosa

**Disclaimer: I don't own ff8. Actually that's a lie…I do. Actually that was the lie…I don't .**

**A/N: hello hello! Its time for another chapter. So so so what have we established so far…well squall is being idiotic. Will he be better in this chapter? Is Rinoa still mad at him. Read and see! Mucho thanks to Delicate Princess, Teresa Pham, rosesRred16, Kiki 28, coquettish siren, Leonharted, r, rinny Leonheart, chibi-san, woven bamboo pattern, lilnaych, EmoDiva, cerulean crystal, cute gal, and crazy turkey. You all rock. Hope you like this chapter.I got the title for the chapter off when I was…on Sub rosa means under the rose which means confidential or secretive. Seemed to fit to me. Anyway that's irrelevant…enjoy**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-Sub Rosa-**

**A**fter the service ended, people just seemed to split off into their own little groups and talk amongst themselves. No one actually bothered to talk to Rinoa, most people just flocked around Prince Irvine and King Caraway, so she just wandered around in the cold snow looking for someone to talk to. She had no idea were Selphie was at all and she couldn't see anyone else she knew. Leaning down she picked up one of the red roses that had fallen into the snow, form the bunches of them all around. There were many she could have taken-piles had been left around the graves as signs of respect, but this one caught her eye. It was alone, its petals so delicate and yet so bold against the snow. Gently touching the rose petals, she continued to wander around, catching snippets of conversations until one grabbed her attention.

"I have heard she refused her betrothal to Prince Irvine." one woman was saying to another. Rinoa was shocked, they were talking about her. None of the people seemed to notice her there though, and carried on talking.

"Surely not."

"So I am told, yes. I have heard she is quite a troublesome girl."

"Really?"

"Yes. It is said that she is stubborn and selfish and difficult."  
"I can not believe she will one day rule this Kingdom. She will more than likely run it into the ground. I mean I suppose it was her party at which this terrible tragedy occurred."

"Perhaps we all would have been better off if it was just her those dreadful soldiers had killed……."

But Rinoa didn't want to hear anymore it, she'd heard quite enough. Did people really hate her so much that they wanted her dead? Realising she was close to breaking down into tears, she searched for a quiet spot where she could go. She trudged through the snow until she found a small bench covered in snow, beneath a tree blanketed in white.

She sat there for a few minutes just staring at the delicate flower in her hands and thinking about what she had heard. They blamed her. They hated her. They wished she was one of those lying in a coffin today. And if she were they would all come and lay flowers on her grave and tell her father how sorry they all were. But it would be fake. It would be a lie. It was all a lie, everything. She was beginning to realise that nobody she had met had ever been truthful about how they really felt about her. She threw the flower she was holding onto the snowy ground and buried her head in her arms.

But after a few moments she heard someone speaking to her. She knew immediately by the voice that it was Squall.

"You can not just run off whenever you feel like it. I have been looking for you."

Rinoa looked up to see him standing there, looking slightly less than pleased.

"Sorry." she muttered

When he saw that she was crying, he softened his tone slightly. "What's wrong, princess?"

"Nothing." she lied. What was the good in telling him. He probably knew what people thought. He probably thought it too.

"It is not nothing." he said.

"Do you wish I was dead?" she asked him, not actually looking at him.

"W-what?"

"Do you? Truthfully?"

"No. Why would you even think that?"

"other people do. Everybody hates me."

"That can not be true." he said sitting down next to her "Why would you think people hate you?"

"I heard them, I heard what they say about me. They said they wished I was the one who died that night."

"Who was it?"

"That is not the point…"

"I'll kill them" he muttered "they cant just say whatever they like about you. They do not know what they are talking about."

"Maybe everyone would have been better off if it was me." she said, tears flowing heavier and heavier "maybe I should just give them all what they want."

Squall grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake "Do not even think that!"

"I do not understand it anymore Squall. What is wrong with me.?" she cried. Squall wrapped his arm his arms around her shoulder and pulled him towards her so her head was resting on his shoulder.

"Nothing. Just forget it. Just forget it all." he said softly.

"How can I forget it? They wish I was dead Everybody hates me, they would all be better off if I were gone. You would be better off without me."

"That is not true, you know it is not true."

He tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear and wiped away a few of her tears "You are a good person princess. You are sweet and beautiful and kind. It does not matter what anyone else thinks."

"It does though. I am starting to agree with them. What do I have in my life worth living for anymore?" Rinoa knew what she was saying probably sounded ridiculous to him, but she was just confused. She couldn't really control what she was saying. But she was even more confused by what happened next. Her guard pulled her so she was face to face with him and then moved her towards him and kissed her.

Rinoa instantly felt as if there were butterflies fluttering around in her stomach and her skin was tingling with excitement. This time, he kissed her, not the other way around. Did this mean he felt the same way as her? She was so close to him she could feel his heartbeat against her chest as he kissed her. It was going almost as fast as her own. He ran his fingers through her dark hair and down her back, which made all her senses feel like they were going into overdrive. Everything else seemed to disappear and in that moment there was just her and Squall. All these feelings were rushing around her mind, thoughts and feelings she had never experienced about anybody before. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to give him everything. She had no idea how long that kiss lasted, but eventually she felt Squall pull away from her. He stood up and shook his head.

"What? What is it?" Rinoa asked

"We can not do this."

She stood up and placed her hand on the side of his face "Why cant we. I thought…I thought you wanted this."

He moved her hand "But it is wrong. I can not act this way."

"Why not?"

"I am a guard."

"I do not care. Squall, I.."

But he interrupted her. "I..I should take you back it is getting cold."

Why did he always have to be this way? Rinoa did not understand this guy. But once again all he had done was build her up just to send her crashing down again.

She turned away from him and walked a few steps away "Yes. And you know all about cold, don't you Squall."

And then she walked away.

-----------------------------------------------------

It went on for several days, this treatment and it was actually starting to get to Squall. Rinoa kept treating him with such formality. He saw her when he delivered reports and she would only ever give one word responses to him. She was clearly mad about something and he knew it was more than likely that kiss. He had hurt her feeling and confused her. But he had confused himself too. He certainly felt something for this girl, and it was something he had never felt before, he just did not know exactly what it was. She was beautiful and kind and certainly made his job more enjoyable, or at least more bearable. And he wished he hadn't kissed her because it had just been…wrong. He had compromised his position and her authority and made things completely awkward. How was he supposed to act around her now. He couldn't leave, but he couldn't go on like this.

It was so confusing to him that he had wanted to keep it professional, but when she had acted that way to him, the way a princess should treat her guard, he felt as if his heart was breaking. But if he acted as anything more than a guard, he was racked with guilt. He needed to sort out how he felt. He needed some time away. Just a few days to sort out everything he was feeling. But first, he had to deliver another report to Princess Rinoa.

"may I enter?" he asked

"Yes." was all he got in response. Her tone was so harsh and cold. Is this how he had been treating her?

"Everything is in order Princess "

"Good."

"Are you alright?"

"I am fine"

"Good. But are you alright…yourself. Are you feeling better than the other day. Are you still upset?"

"And why would I tell you that?"

Squall was somewhat taken back by that response

"W-what?"

"Afterall, as you are so fond of telling me" she said staring deliberately at him "you are just a guard."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ouch squall, ouch! Ooooh soo hope you liked it. Next chapter we fin out more about squall and his somewhat shaky past lol. Plus there is drama to come also maharaja. Lemme know what you think. And hope you enjoyed xx**


	12. The last Star

**Disclaimer: guess!**

**A/N:Hey. I'm back with another chapter, sorry it's a little lat I've been a little busy. So as promised more of squalls past and the start of a very big drama too. It is kinda short but its important lol. Many many thanks to all my reviewers you guys know who you are and love y'all so much! Thanks and read on………..**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------**

**-The last Star-**

**S**quall had decided that the whole thing left him with no other option but to take a few days of leave, and he negotiated it with Seifer, who was only too happy to give in.

He just had to get away, sort out his head. Being around Rinoa lead to way too much confusion- why was her icy treatment bothering him so much? He was used to it, he knew real life was cold and harsh. He'd lived a harsh life, but somehow Rinoa was different. She was a little like a light in the darkness of all the hate and deception he had seen, like the last star left in the black night sky. But now, after all this, it was like the last star had gone out.

It was his own fault really, and he knew it was. Three times now he had managed to get himself into a situation with her that he should not have been in. He was a guard, she was the crowned Princess of the Galbadian Empire. It was totally and completely wrong that he had ended up kissing her, but it was actually seriously more complicated than that. Firstly what complicated it was that as much as he tried to deny it, Squall had wanted to be kissing her, and on occasion he had wanted it to go so much further, but all that was what made it so wrong. But that wasn't the only issue. It seemed to him that no matter what he did, he couldn't win. If he put a stop to it, like he had, then he seemed to greatly offend Rinoa. The whole Princess - guard divide seemed to be completely lost on her, she felt rejected and confused by Squall, when really he was only trying to do what was decent. If he had carried on, it would have been wrong and incredibly dangerous. If he got caught so much as holding her hand he'd be executed for sure, hung publicly no doubt. But even aside from that, there were two much larger issues.

Firstly Squall knew he couldn't deny any longer that he was feeling something for Rinoa. He had spent his whole life deliberately detached from emotion, but Rinoa seemed to spark something inside of him, something completely new and intense. Something he did not understand. But the other remaining issue was his past. And it was a pretty big issue. He wasn't who he was saying he was. How could Rinoa be falling for him when she didn't even know who he really was. He did not want to ever have to tell her, but he knew one day he might have to. The whole incident still haunted Squall, as did so many incidents of his life. As he rode through the snow-heading nowhere in particular, only away from somewhere in particular- all the memories suddenly came flooding back. It was just over two years ago, the last mission he ever undertook as a Balamb soldier…

He was assigned to the task of commanding a Squad whom were to launch an assault on the empires port, Fishermans' Horizon. Their orders were simple. To cause damage and destruction, to kill, injure and destroy. At the time he was told all of this, he had no objections to his mission-the place was just another part of the corrupt empire, so he lead his soldiers there just as he was ordered to. There was so much destruction within seconds. It was the most pacifist place of all the Empires areas, and civilians were never a match for trained soldiers People were slaughtered, the docks were razed and the town set alight as a signal to the empire that they had not won.

But it was towards the end that the mission became so much more complicated. It was nightfall and soon they were to withdraw , so the soldiers scouted the town a final time. They shifted through the wreckage looking for anyone still with a breath in their body. It seemed as if there was nothing, until one soldier returned to the group dragging behind him a young woman and her child.. The woman could only have been twenty at the oldest and the child was barely more than a baby.

"Found on" the soldier announced. He threw the woman into the group of soldiers, and snatched her baby away.

Squall was a soldier and there for he knew what most soldiers were like and could tell exactly what they would do. Murder the child, abuse the woman between them and then kill her too.

Strangely to Squall, this bothered him. This seemed different to usual. When he killed soldier, when he fought in a war, everyone was faceless, emotionless, just another target. But he had seen this womans' face and he had seen all the despair and fear in her eyes.

"Let them go." he said, not really knowing what made him do so.

"What?" the soldier demanded.

"Let them go. A girl, and a young child, they are harmless."

"You know our orders Leonhart, leave no one alive."

"I am in charge here. Let them go."

The girl got up, grabbed her child and tried to scurry away, but one of the soldiers grabbed his sword and stabbed the woman before she could get away.

And Squall found he had no choice but to do what he did next. He took his own blade, and ran it through the soldiers chest, piercing the heart.

The other soldiers stared in shock and amazement at him, and then it all spiralled out of control. Several other soldiers attacked him, most of whom he killed effortlessly, but by the end there were far to many and they gained the upper hand.

While two of them grabbed him and restrained him as best they could, a third drew his sword and slashed it across Squalls face, leaving a large gash running across the top of his nose and under his left eye. He knew exactly why they did this, a scar across the face deliberately inflicted, was the mark of a traitor throughout Balamb. When he eventually managed to break free of the soldiers he had no choice but to run. And he had ran almost ever since. He became a renegade and a mercenary, taking whatever jobs he could get his hands on for any cash at all. He stayed as far away from Balamb as he could, and grew his fringe to such a length that it partially hid his scar. By the time he reached the area where Rinoa lived, he was desperate. He had plenty of cash, but he needed the job as a cover, he needed a place to stay and he had almost been caught up with by the generals from Balamb. And at first all it was, was a job.

But now it was so much more.

For 2 whole days all he did was reflect on this, he wished he could tell Rinoa the truth, but then he would face death for sure. He had come up with no solutions in the past few days, only more questions. What was he supposed to do? Why did he feel so empty? Why did he feel like he missed Rinoa, missed her smile, missed her voice….what was he supposed to do when he got back?

Surely, he could not tell her he had been thinking about her. Even if he understood what he was feeling which he didn't at the moment, he could never tell her. He had no idea himself. It was not any kind of strong attachment, that is what he kept telling himself. He didn't need anyone, he didn't want anyone. He didn't want love, he didn't need compassion, so surely that couldn't be what he was feeling. It was dedication, he decided, dedication to his job that had just gone a little further than usual.

After those days, he had no choice but to return to the castle. But when he did he was greeted with a heavy air of silence. Passing the main room as he entered he saw Seifer, Prince Irvine and King Caraway sitting silently and glumly in the room. What was going on? Where was Rinoa?

Heading to her room to find her, he passed the person whom he had seen a few times, that entertainer who had come with Prince Irvine.

"Are you Squall?" he asked

"yes. And you are?"

"Zell Dincht, a mere servant to Prince Irvine. But he asked me to tell you that when you returned you should speak to Sir Seifer immediately about.." the young man trailed off and looked at the floor.

"About what? And where is the Princess?"

"That is just it,' he said sadly "the princess is…"

Squall was filled with uneasy panic by those words as he waited for Zell to continue, but when he did the words seemed completely unreal to Squall.

"Rinoa is sick…" he continued "They say …they say she is dying."

------------------------------------

**What! Ah no? surely not? Well as I said kinda short, but its quite a long next chapter which I will post soon. Hope you liked the chapter, let me know what you think.xx**


	13. The longest night

**Disclaimer: darn, i still dont own ff8!**

**A/N: hey another chapter! i tried to post this last night, but the system wouldnt let me. darn it! but here it is now. i hope you like it! x much thanks to everyone who reviewed lat chapter, i love ya guys! x so read on and i hope you enjoy...**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------  
-The longest Night-**

**S**quall couldn't believe what he was being told. Dying? How could she be dying? He had been gone a few days and the world had gone to hell.

"What do you mean?" How could she all of a sudden just be dying? None of it made any sense. "What happened?"

"No one really knows." Zell explained "She started feeling dizzy and sick yesterday morning, and then it just got worse and worse. She slipped into Fever yesterday night and still is feverish now. Nothing has changed. There is no explanation and the Doctor fears he can not do anything."

None of this made sense to Squall. No one knew what was wrong with her and yet they were all so certain that she was going to…why the hell weren't they doing anything? Why had everyone given up on her?

"Where is she?" Squall asked casually, trying not to sound more concerned than he should.

"In her room. You should go and see her, she was asking for you at one point…but you weren't here. Yes, you should go now, but she is in and out of consciousness." Zell said sadly. "It is such a shame."

A shame? For Squall, a shame didn't quite seem to cover it. She was going to die, and although she was dying from something that he couldn't prevent he still felt guilty. Like some how if he had been there it might not have happened.

He went into her room and saw it was completely dark, fabric draped across the windows keeping out the morning sun. There was one of Rinoas' other guards sitting looking very bored.

"Oh thank god." he sighed. "You come to take over?"

"Take over what?"

"The shift. You just sit here. The King is insisting someone sits here at all times."

"Alright. I'll do it." Squall said, and then the guard left him alone in the room with Rinoa. He walked over to her bed and sat down by the side of it. She just lay there, her skin so white and pale, contrasting with her dark hair which lay around her face. He could see her eyes flicker now and again and she seemed to be shivering a little, but other than that there was no sign she was alive.

For the rest of the day he just sat there, he just sat there and waited for something to happen, feeling absolutely powerless. It was only towards the end of the afternoon, when the sun was starting to set that something actually happened.

Suddenly her pale skin started to turn a shade of red and tiny beads of sweat started to trickle down her forehead. Her breathing became shallow and her eyes starting fluttering open and closed. Squall knew this was common to fever, to switch from cold and still to hot, flustered with breathing difficulty. It was never a good sign, he knew he had to get a doctor. But when the doctor arrived, he had nothing good to say, nothing Squall wanted to hear.

"Her condition is totally unpredictable now." he announced sadly "it seems only to be worsening in levels of intensity. I have only one suggestion of what to do." he explained to Seifer, The King and everyone assembled in the room. "This is an unheard of condition and so I can not offer any brilliant solutions, but it is possible she may never recover from this. But what I suggest is this; we give her through the night. If she is conscious by morning I can take that as a turning point in the condition. However if by dawn she is still unconscious I would suggest…we perhaps let her go. End her suffering, ether and nightshade, a painless combination and it would ve more just than letting her be taken by this illness."

Squall was completely appalled by this suggestion. Ether? It stops your heart…it kills you. They wanted to kill Rinoa… it was ridiculous. And he thought that was plain to see. But much to his complete horror, King Caraway nodded sadly and said "Very well." and then he left the room with everyone else, leaving just Squall.

It was about nightfall now, so this was it…he had one last night with his beautiful Princess. And then it was over. He volunteered to take the shift of watching her through the night which no one else had wanted to do.

And it was the longest night of his life.

He spent every minute that slowly ticked by hoping, praying, wishing that she would just wake up, just for a second. But nothing happened. He would have given his own life for her just to have a few more breaths. But nothing happened, and by the early hours before sunrise he had lost all hope. This would be goodbye. Squall wasn't really sure what it was he was feeling…numb, and empty. This was really it? Why did it have to happen? Why now? He knew that when he left Rinoa hated him for what he had said and done, he had hurt her feelings and never got a chance to tell her his own.

His own feelings were only becoming clear to him now, because of this. He realised he didn't want her to die because…she was to important to him. She was everything. But everything was being snatched away from him.

He reached out and took her now still and pale hands, and held them in his own.

"Rinoa, please…do not do this, do not let go." but again, the minutes and hours ticked by and there was no change. There was now only an hour or so until sunrise. They'd all come soon, come and it, come and take her life, take her away. Take her away from him. Forever.

He reached out and gently touched the side of her face. She was so beautiful, so kind and so sweet, and she didn't deserve this. For the first time he could ever remember, Squall felt like crying. There was so much he would have liked to say to her, but it was too late, she would never here him, she would never know.

But he still felt they had to be said, because he finally felt he was starting to understand his own feelings. Was this …was it love? No it couldn't be love. Squall didn't really believe in love. But he was definitely feeling something he had never felt before. There was such strong despair too, what was his life without her?

"Rinoa." he said quietly "I'm so sorry. I am so sorry for what I did and what I said, I am sorry I hurt you. I wish I could take it back. I should have told you the truth…about how I felt about you. You make me feel like I have a purpose in this life, you make me feel like there's hope. But truthfully Rinoa, you made me scared…scared I was falling for you, because I really was falling for you. Further and further each day." Feeling completely overcome by the emotion of it all, he lay down, his head resting just on her stomach. "I do not know what to do. I need you Rinoa." Squall shut his eyes for just a minute, but when he woke up, the first signs of light were shining in. It was now morning. Squall stood up and went over to the window and just stared out of it. What was he going to do now, where was he going to do? How did he even begin to get over it? He dropped his head and ran his fingers through his hair…he knew he had to get out of there, he couldn't stick around and watch her die. But just as he stood there, he could swear he heard a faint whisper.

"What's happening…."

Was he hearing things now? He turned around very slowly and saw that he was not hearing things at all, Rinoa was awake.

"Rinoa!" he went over to her and sat down on the end of her bed. "You're awake!"

"What is going on..?" she said faintly, her voice barely more than a whisper "Squall…."

"It's alright. It is all going to be okay, I'm going to go and get a doctor."

She weakly grabbed his hand "No, stay with me."

"Alright, I'll stay." he sat back down, knowing the doctor would be there soon anyway.

"What is wrong with me squall? Am I dying?"

"No, I wont let you die, I promise. It will be fine."

"Alright." She whispered, before her eyes started to flutter closed again. No, he couldn't let her go again. He grabbed one of her arms and pulled her up so she was upright, leaning against him. "you have to stay awake" he told her "please"

"Why?"

"Just trust me. Stay awake, do it for me. I need you to do this."

"I am so tired Squall" She said, her eyes closing again.

He placed his hand either side of her face and looked into her half open eyes. "Listen to me. You have to do this, you have to keep awake, stay with me."

"I'll try..if you stay here with me too."

"I will, I'm here. Talk to me." he said, desperately trying to keep her awake.

"Where did you go?" she asked quietly "You were gone for a few days."

"I went away, I just needed time."

"Did you go because of me?"

"No, but it does not matter. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere again."

"I'm sorry Squall. I've been so hard on you."

"It does not matter Princess. I…"

"you do not have to explain Squall."

"I think I do. I have a lot of explaining to do. I left because I was confused about how I feel about you."

"And... did you ...ever figure it out?"

"Not really but I know one thing and that is I cant lose you. And that is why you have to stay awake for me alright?"

Rinoa wrapped her arms around him weakly and pulled herself closer to him.. "Just do not leave me again, okay?"

"I wont" he said, gently kissing the top of her head. "you do not have to worry."

"I...I do not feel so well." she said, her eyes suddenly starting to flicker again and her breath becoming shallow.

"I should get you a doctor Princess."

"No you have to stay with me…"

"You really need a Doctor princess…."

"Maybe…" she said, her voice still faint "but I need you here more."

Thankfully it was only a few moments before Seifer and The king arrived with the doctor.

"She is awake!" the docotor exlaimed "This is excellent news, I can now attempt to treat the fever!"

Unfortuantely, after that they insisted Squall lave the room, so all he could do was sit outside and pray. Hope and wish that she would be okay. He needed her to be okay.

Really, she was all he had.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Aww well there we go! Shes alive! And he admitted his feelings ...well in a squall-like way heheh. anyway Hope you liked it and I'll update soon!let me know what you think of it. xx**


	14. Fighting Desire

**A/N: Hey! Sorry this took a while and also if it takes a while for the next chapter I am away a lot this month but I will try my best to get this updated. Thanks so so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter it was really appreciated! And hope you enjoy this chapter…so were did Squall and Rinoas event leave them…find out!**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It was weeks before Rinoa recovered, but she did recover at least. It was decided that she had suffered serious symptoms of a passing fever. She gradually became well enough to get out of bed, but all her father would allow her to do was sit around in her room which was what she was doing today, 3 weeks later.

Squall had spent most of the days with Rinoa, as more than anything she needed someone to talk to, so they had talked a lot. As Squall made his way to see her one day, Sir Seifer caught up with him.

"Are you going to see the Princess?" he asked.

"Yes." Squall answered, reluctantly. Seifer would undoubtedly be suspicious if he knew how much time Squall had been spending with Rinoa, even more suspicious if he knew what they talked about.

"I am coming with you, her father wishes me to check up on her condition."

"Fine."

So Seifer and Squall went to her room, to find her sitting, staring out of the window.

"Good Morning Princess." Seifer said.

"Good morning Seifer, Squall."

"How are you feeling Princess?"

"Better thank you. I am a little tired, but I feel good."

"Good I am glad to hear that Princess. Do you need anything?"

Rinoa glanced briefly at Squall and then back at Seifer. "I..I need someone to stay with me, I would feel safer that way."

Seifer rolled his eyes slightly, "I'm busy. Leonhart, you stay."

"Alright then." Squall said, after which Seifer left the room, closing the door behind him leaving Squall and Rinoa alone.

"Finally" Rinoa said, standing up "I have missed you."

"you too." Squall said, pulling the young Princess into a kiss. Some things had changed over the past week. The whole incident with Rinoa sickness had made them both realise they could not hide their feelings anymore, they could not fight desire anymore. And even thought they weren't entirely sure what there feelings where, they both knew it was right this way. They were so close. They certainly didn't have a professional relationship anymore. They weren't friends, and they weren't exactly a couple. They just were what they were. It was something that almost transcended reason or logic.

"I am so glad you are here. I feel like I am going crazy when I'm by myself." She said sitting down on the seat by the window. Squall sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I will stay as long as I can." he told her "I would stay with you all day and all night if I could, but I know it would raise suspicions."

"I do not think my father is paying attention to what I do. He is far too busy with Prince Irvine."

"Still, if anyone ever suspects what is going on…there will be so much trouble."

"I know. I know there will. But I just wish…."

"I know. So do I." Squall said "but this is just how it is."

"If my father makes me marry Irvine it will be so much worse."

"if you have to marry Irvine, I might have to leave."

"I wish I could leave, just run away, far away. I do not want an arranged marriage. I want to marry the person I love."

"I know." Squall whispered "But it never works that way."

"We have to try though. We have to make this work."

"We have to accept this for what it is. I am just glad I can be here for you."

"I am glad you are here too."

"I almost forgot." Squall said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small blue bag "I have something for you."

"Really. Why?"

"Why not? I saw it and it was so beautiful, it made me think of you."

Rinoa opened the tiny blue bag and pulled out a long chain. It had a sparkling ruby hanging from it, with droplets of diamonds at the bottom.

"Squall it's so beautiful! I love it. But how can you even afford something like this, I know how much my father pays you."

"That's not important. I want you to have it."

Rinoa took the chain and slipped it around her neck "Thank you." She said, reaching up and kissing him.

Then for a few minutes they just sat there silently and looked out of the window, until Rinoa said "Squall, tell me about your life."

"Why?" he said, panicking a little. He was still keeping those lies up about his life. But maybe this would be the best time to tell her.

"I do not really know anything about your past Squall, your life. I want to know you."

"I…I was an orphan. I do not remember my parents at all. My first memories are of that orphanage. There were some other children, maybe 10 or so of us. Some of their parents died of illness, other had died in war. Some no one really knew about, like me.

Some of the children were taken in by families, and others died and in the end it was just me. I was just about 13 at the time so I was taken into the army."

"The Imperial Army?"

"Well…"

But before Squall finished his sentence the door to the room opened. Immediately the two of them sprung apart and distanced themselves. Rinoa stayed sitting down, innocently looking out of the window, and Squall stood against the wall a few feet away.

"Good day." Prince Irvine said walking into the room. "How are you Rinoa?"

"I am very well thank you. May I help you?"

"I wish to talk about our betrothal."

"I never agreed to it." Rinoa said sharply.

"That is what I wish to speak about. I think you should rethink Princess."

"Why should I?"

"It is for the good of your country and for your own good perhaps."

"How so?"

"You can not simply stay in this castle all by yourself much longer. Besides, you could consider yourself lucky, I am quite a sought after man, many women would love to be in your position. But I would rather you than any other."

Squall was trying incredibly half not to laugh. Was this guy actually in love with himself?

"I need time." Rinoa said.

"Very well. At least it is not a no. I will give you the time you need. Although I must say this; your father in the end will make this decision for you, you may as well enter into it willingly." he said, before leaving the room.

"What should I do?" Rinoa asked Squall.

"It is not for me to say."

Squall knew he couldn't give anything close to a fair answer. On the one hand he could understand why Rinoa did not want to marry Irvine, and he knew he couldn't bear her to either. But if he told her not to, he would be in the middle of Royal affairs and Rinoas' duty to her country. So he said nothing.

Rinoa stood up, and hugged Squall "It will all be okay in the end, wont it?"

"Of course it will."

------

For the next week or so, life happened without event. Prince Irvine returned to Dollet to deal with some business, while Caraway also left to attend some imperial meetings.

Seifer was his usual absent self, so most of the time just was just Squall and Rinoa. Most days they would just sit and talk, just be together. Squall was happiest when he was with Rinoa. And that scared him. He had spent so long making himself not need anyone, but it was all starting to change.

It was one morning while he was thinking all this over, when he was approached by one of the guards.

"Leonhart, you hear the news?"

"What news?"

"About the towns. War has broken out!"

--------

"War?" Rinoa echoed when Sir Seifer told her the news a few days later.

"Yes, Princess, War."

"What does it mean for us?" she asked nervously

"well the war is yet to reach this area, but they are asking us to contribute."

"Contribute?" Rinoa was puzzled.

"Yes. We are sending some men. Some of the servants and one of your guards."

Rinoa instantly panicked. "My guard?" Please let it be Seifer, was all she could think.

"Leonhart is going."

As soon as she heard the words, Rinoa felt faint. Squall was going to go to war?

"But…he might die." She said quietly.

"Perhaps, perhaps not." Seifer shrugged, blatantly unconcerned. "You seem very worried."

"Well if there is a war…" Rinoa said trying to mask her fear and concern "Do I not need my guards here?"

"If he does not return, we can find someone else."

Why did it have to be Squall. Out of all the guards, why him? Rinoa had to wonder if it had been Seifers choice, it was fairly obvious he did not like Squall.

"Why him? I mean, not that I am concerned especially, but I would have considered you the more trained fighter."

"I am. And it was originally requested I fight."

Now Rinoa was confused "Then why is Squall going?"

"I am needed here. Besides Princess, he volunteered."

-----------------------------------------------------

**What? No, surely not, Seifer must be lying….except he's not! But why would Squall volunteer! Lol all revealed next chapter I promise…I hope you liked this :)  
**


	15. running away

**A/N: hiya! So so sorry this took so long I had computer issues and I have been away fro ages but I'm back now and getting all my stories updated soon so please rtead and enjoy and thanks and love to all my readers!**

**----------------------------------------**

He volunteered? Rinoa couldn't even comprehend what she was being told. Why would someone want to go to war? Why would Squall want to? Why would he want to leave behind what they had to fight in a war that would be likely to end his life. The war was nothing to do with him! When Seifer excused himself, Rinoa went to find Squall. She had to talk to him. Maybe it was a misunderstanding, because it certainly didn't make sense. But she couldn't actually find him anywhere and istatly she panicked. Had he left already?

She went back to her room and sat silently, staring out of her window at the snow falling outside. It was like somehow she hoped it would giver her answers. It was pure, it was simple. It just fell from the sky, no complication, a beautiful simplicity that she wished she had in her life. Everything had gotten so complicated for her. It was only a few moments later that Squall entered the room.

"Where have you been?"

"I was out Princess. But I need to talk to you."

"You are going to war."

"h-how did you know?" he said, taken aback.

"Seifer told me. How can you do this?"

"I have no choice."

"Don't lie to me Squall. I know you volunteered to take Seifers place."

Rinoa could tell from the look on Squalls face he really had not expected her to know that.

"I……"

"Why?" she interrupted "Why on earth would you do such a thing?"

"I already told you, I do not really have a choice."

"Of course you have a choice. You did not have to do this, you did not have to do this to us."

"I have not done anything to us."

"you are leaving me behind to go fight in a war that will kill you! There wont be an us anymore Squall, you will be dead!" she yelled, loosing control of her temper, angry tears falling down her cheeks.

"Calm down." was all Squall said "I do not need this."

"I'm sorry" Rinoa said, sarcasm creeping into her voice "I did not know that this was about what you needed. Do you think I need you to go to war."

"It is not that simple." he said, obviously trying to control his temper.

"I think it is that simple Squall. I think you want to complicate things I think you are looking for an excuse not to be here, you want to leave me behind."

"This is not about you."

"Yes Squall, it is about me. Because how am I supposed to cope, when you're off fighting a war. How can I cope when I wont know if you are alive or dead!"

"You will cope just fine. You don't need me."

"yes Squall, I do need you. I need you here. You are the only thing that makes my life bearable. Since you have been here I have been so much happier ."

"you don't mean that. You do not even know what you are saying."

"of course I do! I am not stupid."

"No, but you are naive."

Rinoa couldn't figure out what was going on with Squall. Why was he acting this way. Why was he being so mean and why had he still not answered her question of why he was going to war.

"Why am I so naïve?"

"You think you understand what is going on here and you don't."

"I do understand this, I understand how I feel. What I don't get is why you are doing this. Why are you making decisions so stupid and being so horrible."

"You are the one arguing princess"

"Stop it! Stop being so cold!" she grabbed his hand in tears "Squall I just want to understand you. You don't have to be on guard all the time, just let me in, let me see the real you!"

"You don't want to know the real me." Squall said turning his back on her. The comment made Rinoa nervous and scared. What did something like that mean? What was he hiding form her? Rinoa knew, she could just tell that even if he was hiding something he was a good person and he had a good heart. For the brief moments she had been close to him-really close, close enough to feel his heartbeat- she could tell he was a good person. But thinking back to those moments made her feel confused again. They had gotten so close to being together and yet something had turned it all upside down. All the things he had told her a few weeks ago…he told her he'd be there, he told her she didn't have to worry and he couldn't lose her. He said he wasn't going anywhere, and everything after that day- he was acting like it never even happened!

"What changed?" she asked, her thoughts coming to the surface "Everything you told me, everything we said and did, what that nothing to you? Does it just not matter?"

"it is not nothing, you could never be nothing to me Rinoa, but this war, it actually made me realise what I actually am. I'm a guard, I'm a soldier I belong in wars, I don't belong so close to you."

"But I want you here, I want you that close."

"This is not about what you want!" he snapped suddenly.

Rinoa could not tell what was going on with him anymore but she found herself losing her temper again.

"then what, what is it about? Why are you running away Squall, why are you running away from me?"

"I am not running away…"

"Yes you are! It's like whenever I get a little close to you, you turn away You find some way to get away from it all, to avoid it, and now you've gone so far as to get yourself killed probably, you must be running from something pretty serious, so what? Tell me!"

"you!"

Rinoa felt her heartache with those words. He would rather be dead than be around her?

"What…what have I done.?"

"You act like its all so simple. You act like we can just be together, just be happy and it is just ridiculous!"

"Why is it so ridiculous? Why is it bad to want to be happy?"

"you never seem to realise that I'm a guard, I'm beneath you!"

"I do not see it like that! Only you do! What does it matter whether you are a guard or not? Do you think just because you're a guard that I can stop caring, do you think you should go and die in a war because of it?"

"Being at war would be easier than being here!"

"W-what?"

"it is simple there. Here it is too complicated, it is too messed up. I want you to understand that."  
"Do you think I want you to die?!"

"Do you think I want to be in love with you?" he yelled, even louder. Rinoa was so shocked by that, that she had to sit down. She stumbled backwards and luckily found the edge of a seat. Did he just say- or yell- that he loved her? But she didn't have anything to say, so she just kept blinking until he continued.

"Do you think I wanted to fall in love with you, do you think that this has been easy for me, because loving you Rinoa… Its hell"  
"How can you even say that?"

"I do not want to want you, I do not want to feel how I do because its to difficult. Do you have any idea what it is like seeing you every day but not being able to be with you not being able to touch you or say anything about how damn much I love you.it's to much to keep inside…I need to get away from here."

"Don't go. If you love me…don't go."

"I have to go because I shouldn't love you. If I die in this war its because I deserve to."

"you do not deserve to die for being in love, you do not deserve it at all. You are a good person I know you are. You have issues, we all do but you have a good heart, I know you do. That's why I love you."

"You don't love me."

"yes, I do."

"Well you shouldn't. I'm not who you think I am. You think I'm all these things that I am not. I am not a good person Rinoa, not even close and nowhere near close to deserving you."

"Why do you do this to yourself? Why wont you let yourself be happy"

"being with you…it wont make me happy. Every second I'm around you I'm just reminded of of how damn much I love you but how much its never going to work."

"Why, why wouldn't it work?'

"You're royalty. And I'm a guard. We could never tell anyone. Besides every second I was with you I'd just feel guilt from keeping you from finding the one you really love."

"I've found who I truly love Squall and its you. You think I'm young and naive but I'm not, I know I love you."

"you don't know what love is!" he snapped "you don't know anything about the real world! You live in a fantasy were everything is perfect and everyone always gets what they want and real life isn't like that. You want to know reality Rinoa, you want to see the real me?"

"yes, I do."

"Fine the real me…was a soldier."

"I know that, whats the point."

"It is an example. This odd little dream world you seem to live in, you've never actually thought about it. I killed people for a job. They were nothing to me and that's why I made a damn good solider because I just didn't care who I killed. Hell I've even lost count. Peoples husbands, brothers, sons everyone. And I did not care. You still want to think I'm good.?"

"Stop it!" Rinoa yelled covering her ears "why are you saying this."

"Itys the truth you need to know, you need to accept it!"

"I don't want to!" she cried.

"Grow up Rinoa.!"

Then Rinoa didn't know what to say. She loved him, but in that moment she hated him more than anyone in the world. He was being so selfish, so cruel.

"Get out!" she yelled as loud as she could through her tears "If you want to go off and die in a war, fine…go!"

---------------------------------------------------------

**Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!sob. Once again sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoyed.**


	16. Angels who wont return

**A/N: hey! another chapter! once again so many thanks to everyone who read the last chapter i really hope everyone is still enjoying the story:)**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-Angels who wont return-**

4 months passed since that day. But the events still haunted Rinoa, the words going around and around in her head. Still, after all this time, she didn't really know why she had acted how she did or said what she had. Why had she fought with him that way? Maybe it was because back then it had not really occurred to her that she would never get a chance to take them back. It never occurred to her that she would never see him again. But that was how it was starting to look. All Rinoa ever heard about the war was news of more casualties, more losses, more pain, and each day she doubted that Squall would ever return to her.

She would just sit in her room alone all day and wish she could let him know how she really felt, let him know that she hadn't meant what she had said.

She had only acted that way because she was scared. She knew she could not cope without him, could not handle never knowing she may never see him again, couldn't stand wondering whether the man she loved was even alive or not.

One day as she sat there watching the seamlessly endless snow, she realised how much like life it was. It could be so pure, so perfect. Things built up and up to such and amazing point, and then they just melted away to nothing. Like they never existed.

"Princess Rinoa, you have a letter." prince Irvine said, as he appeared in the room from what appeared to be nowhere.

"A letter from whom?" she asked, her curiosity raised.

"I have no idea. Here."Irvine handed her the letter, and she unfolded it slowly, wondering who on earth it could be from. But as soon as she saw what was written she felt as if all of the breath had been knocked out of her. It was…from Squall

Dear Rinoa,

As I write this, the war rages on, seemingly becoming worse. I realise there is little hope of me surviving which means I may never se you again, and the last time I saw you, I wish I had not acted the way I did. If I'd have known I was truly leaving you behind for good I would have said all the things I really wanted you to know. At the time, I couldn't say those things , but now it may be easier knowing it is the only chance I will ever get to tell you how I feel. I love you. More than I ever realised, you had become my reason to wake up each day. You were everything to me. Before I left I, what I said was all true, but I never wanted to hurt you. I don't deserve you, I wish I did. But I'm realising now that the fact you had hope we could be together didn't make you naive, it made you smart. We need hope, sometimes hope is all we have. I could not have survived even this long without hope. I hope for you to forget me, to move on and to be happy. If I never come back, then I hope you know I love you until the day I died. I hope you realise what an amazing person you are, and how much you deserve to be happy. More than anything, I wish you happiness and love. And my greatest hope is that we meet once again, if not in this life, then maybe in the next.

Rinoa felt her tears splash onto the page, as every word pulled mercilessly at her heart.

She couldn't believe it, just seeing his words, having something of his, completely overwhelmed her and made it all so much more real how hard it was to live without him.

"What is wrong Rinoa?" Irvine asked, looking surprised.

"oh." Rinoa hastily wiped away her tears and tried to control her emotions "Nothing it is just an old friend."

"Alright then" Irvine said disbelievingly "and your friend Selphie has arrived."

Rinoa had asked Selphie to come up because she desperately needed to talk to someone and Selphie was the only one she felt she could trust. She knew it was better not to tell anyone, but she couldn't deal with it alone anymore.

"thank you Irvine." she said politely "I shall go and see her now."

Rinoa was still wondering what exactly prince Irvine was still doing there, undoubtedly sticking around so her father could force their engagement. But she didn't care anymore. She couldn't care. She had more important things to care about, everything that was weighing down her heart and her mind, concerned her more at the moment.

Rinoa was so happy to see Selphie when she greeted her, with the difficulty she had had travelling through the war. Luckily most fighting was taking place away from the castle, but regardless, everybody was on edge.

"I am so glad to see you selphie."

"I am glad too! Are you alright?"

"I…" Rinoa felt tears run down her cheeks again, and she shook her head "No selphie, I am not alright."

Selphie hugged her friend "What is wrong Rinoa?" she asked concernedly.

Rinoa had to think about how to explain this all to Selphie. She was trying so hard not to let it all come out in the hysterical mess it was in in her mind.

"It's squall…" she said, trying to wipe away the constant tears.

"Squall…your guard?"

Rinoa nodded. "He went away, he went to fight in the war. I do not know if he is even alive." she said as she turned away and stared out of the window.

"That is terrible Rinoa, I am so sorry."

Rinoa shook her head again. "You don't understand." she whispered

"Is there something I do not know?"

"Yes." Rinoa said, as she started crying once more. "I…I…I was in love with him."

"What?" selphie asked clearly shocked "I can not believe it, I do not understand."

"I was in love with him. He was everything to me, everything I ever wanted, and now he's gone."

"how is it even possible? How did this happen?"

"I do not truly know. It just happened. He seemed so much like everyone else on first glance, but as soon as I spoke to him that first time, I knew he was different. He was so sweet, so polite and at first I just saw him as a good guard, maybe even a friend. But gradually… I started to see the real him. He was always detached and formal, but I could tell, I could see what a good person he was, he had a good heart. And we just kept getting closer..and now he's gone."

Selphie looked as though she had no idea what to say. Rinoa could see why, it all must have been very strange to hear, it was all a little unbelievable. It was truly rare that royalty would fall for a guard, but Rinoa had. Status and position meant nothing to her.

"How did he feel about you?"

"I think…I think he felt the same. I think he loved me too. He told me before he left that he did, but he said it was to hard for him to be around me. That's why he went, but we could have been happy together, I know it."

"This is…."

"Unbelievable? I know it is, but I can not help it, I love him."

"So you two were…a couple?"

"it was complicated, but we were not far from it I suppose. We spent so many days, just talking, being close to each other. When we were together, and when we kissed, it was the only time I ever felt happy. But now…I'm just confused."

"You kissed him? Rinoa!"

"Why is it so bad?"

"Rinoa, he is a guard! You are a princess, how did you think it would ever work??"

"It was never about thinking, it was about feeling. I had hoped you would understand."

"I am your best friend, of course I understand. You fell in love, it was not your fault. I just want you to be careful. This can never get out, if your father found out or Seifer…they'll execute him for sure."

"I know, and that is why I have told nobody but you. I suppose it doesn't matter any more, he may be dead anyway. I hate not knowing. I would rather be told even if it is bad news. Do you think he will come back Selphie?"

"I do not know. But do not hold out too much hope, it will break your heart."

"My heart is already broken."

"I am so sorry. But I must ask something else, what about Prince Irvine? Why is he here still?"

"he has been back and forward between here. Visiting, hinting around the engagement. I do not know what to do."

"I suppose it must be a difficult choice. A marriage would benefit the kingdom, but you do not love him."

"I have to wait, I have to wait until Squall comes back."

And she did wait. Another month passed and there was nothing. Untill one day, news reached her that the war was over, the Galbadian Kingdom victorious. Surely, Squall would return soon if the war was over? But nearly another month passed by and he did not return. There was no news of him, there was nothing. It started to occur to Rinoa that as much as it broke her heart to admit it, Squall wasn't coming back…he was dead. It had been sixth months since she had last seen him, and nearly a year since the first time she ever saw him. But even with all that time gone, she could still remember everything about him. Everything about how he looked, how he acted, how he made her feel. But she was too confused as to what to do now. It hurt, every time she thought about him, the memories that were once so good had become so much more painful. He was so much more than a memory, but something somewhere inside of her was telling her she needed to move on. It was all conflicting in her mind, part of her was telling her she needed to move on but part of her was saying it was wrong, it was betraying his memory. Didn't he want her to be happy? But would moving on even make her happy? She needed something to take her mind off it. Maybe she would have to move on, even though it hurt. She needed something in her life to think about, she needed something to distract her from thinking about all the things that could possibly of happened to him.

That night her father arranged for her to dine with prince Irvine and although it was not exactly what she enjoyed, it atleast would keep her occupied.

"This war, it was terrible" Irvine said as they ate dinner later that night "How glad I am it has reached its end. Far too many casualties though."

" I agree"

"They sent one of your guards did they not? The young man, I met him once…"

"Yes, Squall." Rinoa answered, shocked that Irvine actually seemed sincere.

"yes. It is quite saddening he did not return. It must have been upsetting for you."

"It was, but there is nothing that can be done now."

"True, Princess. But it is fortunate the empire came out strongest. It is such a proud place, it could even expand further. Our marriage Rinoa, it would b the perfect time now."

"Irvine….."

"Rinoa, listen just one moment. I am very aware you do not want to marry me as you do not like me…"

"I do not dislike you. I like you…but I do not love you." It was true that over the past few months she had actually grown to like Irvine. He was not as bad as he had seemed.

"I understand that. But it is rare that anyone can marry for love. But you must love your empire and your people. This union would be good for them, and it would for you. If not love, then company can do us god too. Just think once more Rinoa, consider marrying me."

Rinoa couldn't help but wonder if Prince Irvine was right. She was lonely a lot of the time and often thought how company would be nice.

I would be nice to be cared about again, to be treated with some affection. An arranged marriage was not what she had ever wanted, she had always wanted to marry for love. But in a way, love rejected her. She had to accept that the one she loved may never be the one she was with. He was gone, he was dead. Most people have one soul mate, one true love and Rinoa was sure Squall was hers.

She had found and lost her true love and she knew she would never find another, she knew she would have to marry someone she didn't truly love.

….So why not Irvine? He was a decent, relatively kind, attractive man and she knew the marriage really would be good for the empire. And aside form it all, it would make her father leave her alone. He would more than likely be glad to be rid of her. She would no longer be his concern, she would be Irvine's. And out of the two rinoa would prefer Irvine. And the loneliness was too much now…

"Alright Irvine,…I will marry you."

**-----------------------------------------------------**

**What??? Is she crazy?? Hehehehehehe hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will definitely update soon!**


	17. True love, new love

**A/N: Heylo my lovelys :D sorry for the slowness of this update, but i have been crazy busy recently. i am really focusing on getting this story back on track now. Really want to tahnk everyone who reviewed the last chapter and who has supported me all the way trhough the story. so read on and hope you will enjoy!**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**-True love, new love- **

**T**hree weeks later a massive party was held to celebrate the royal engagement. Guests from all over the kingdom had been invited and it also acted as a party to celebrate Galbadias victory in the war. The engagement had been announced and received joyously by the whole kingdom. Rinoa had gradually grown to the idea of the engagement and found herself becoming increasingly fond of Irvine. He was far from what she had first thought of him and she did appreciate the closeness to someone. It wasn't love, but it was as close as she would get she had decided. At least she was doing something in her life now. Plus after her wedding to Irvine , Dollet would join the empire and she would be responsible for it along with Irvine while her father dealt with the rest of Galbadia. The closer she came to the marriage, the more excited she found herself becoming. Of course, occasionally she was sad, she still hadn't gotten over losing Squall the way she did. That pain would always be with her, but so would his memory, and that kept her safe, it made her feel stronger, she knew that he would always be part of her. But wherever he was now he would want her to be happy, he would want her to move on. He would want for her to live her life, even if it couldn't be with him.

Rinoa only had one thing to take care of with the party, and that was to chose her dress, the rest was being taken care of by royal part planners.

There were so many different dresses laid out in front of her that she hardly knew how to choose, they were all so beautiful. Eventually she decided on one, the last one she saw, but as soon ash she saw it she knew it was perfect. It was a beautiful shade of soft rose pink, the top half a beaded corset and the bottom half a long flowing skirt made of silk and lace. The pink suited her complexion perfectly and when she let her hair tumble down over her shoulders in soft cascading waves, she looked in the mirror and felt special, she felt grown up, like a woman not a clueless girl as she had felt before.

"You look beautiful" Irvine said, as he came into the room, "I often can not believe I am so lucky." he leant down and gently kissed her on the cheek "Are you looking forward to the party?"

"Of course. It will be a wonderful celebration" she said happily. A party was just what people needed and hopefully it would go better than the last. Her life in general had actually been getting better. She was happy for the only time she could really remember.

When the party began, the castle was lively and buzzing. Everyone, or those who were not still dealing with the aftermath of the war, was there for the official announcement. It was King caraway who did the honours, drawing the crowds to silence he said, "Thank you so much for being here tonight. This celebration marks more then one joyous event. Of course, it marks our victory against the rebels in the war and the continuation of our great empire, but it also marks the expansion of this empire. A union that has been much awaited. It gives me great pleasure to announce the engagement of my daughter Princess Rinoa to Prince Irvine of Dollet."

The crowd erupted into applause. In a way the engagement brought more happiness to the kingdom than it did to Rinoa or Irvine. The unification of Galbadia and Dollet meant a lot to a lot of people, they would think it to be the ultimate defence against any future threats. The empire now covered more than 80 of the worlds countries and the only threat was Balamb, but most of their resources had been crushed by the war.

For the rest of the night people came to Rinoa to congratulate heron the news, some people even bringing her gifts.

"Congratulations Princess." said a young woman who Rinoa vaguely recognised as the daughter of a friend of her father. "you are so lucky to have found such a wonderful man. And one your father approves of." she added with a small but sad laugh.

"it is true, I am very lucky."

"it is so easy to fall in love with someone of whom your parents wont approve. I hope one day I can find a husband who is what I want and what they want."

Rinoa nodded and smiled, but the girl had really struck a cord with her. What the girl had said reminded her of just a year or so ago when she was convinced she was in love with someone her father would never approve of. She had to wonder if this girl had experienced something similar.

"Who was it, the man for whom you fell.?" she asked, hoping the girl would not be offended by the question.

"He was the son of an associate of my father, we fell in love just before our fathers fell out. I was no longer allowed to see him." The girl lowered her voice "I still do. Swear you will not tell anyone. We wont give up. I suppose you never give up on true love."

That struck Rinoa even more. Is…is that what she had done? Had she just given up on true love? Had it been true love atall?

Rinoa knew she needed a moment to speak, and excused herself from the girls company.

Everything she had put behind her was trying to force its way back into her mind. She slipped out of the exit and stood on the balcony of the castle. She had to get rid of these thoughts. He wasn't coming back, she knew that. She hadn't given up because there was nothing to give up on. It had been love, but was it true love? At the time, she was sure it was…but…besides it was not her who had given up, it was him. He was the one who had gone off to war, knowing he may well die.

"damn" Rinoa whispered, wiping away falling tears. She had sworn to herself she wouldn't think of him. She collected herself and returned to the party. Stepping inside she saw that all of the couples at the party were dancing to a slow enchanting piece of music.

"Ahh my Princess." Irvine said, taking Rinoas hand "how about or first dance?"

"Of course" Rinoa said stepping onto the dance floor and wrapping her arms around him. She was surprised, but being close to someone gave her great comfort.

"I must say" Irvine said, as they danced, "I am still quite surprised this evening arrived. I thought you would never agree."

"I never imagined it either if I am honest. But I am glad. It means a lot to vary many people."

"And what does it mean to you?" Irvine asked, as he spun her in time with the music.

"I am not certain yet. But I know I made the right choice."

Rinoa realised her sudden acceptance would have seemed somewhat odd to Irvine. She knew why she had done it, but he would never know. She could never have accepted while Squall was there, she loved him too much to ever say yes to Irvine.

But enough time had passed for her to realise he wasn't coming back, she had to move on. Nobody would ever really understand her decision but her, and nobody would ever know about her and Squall. And those were the secrets she would carry all her life.

It was something she looked back on with both regret and happiness. Of course she would have wanted it to have gone differently, but it was over now but she was still grateful to have experienced it all. True love was rare, but she knew existed now. The necklace she had been given by Squall still hung around her neck, a reminder of how powerful love could be.

She knew what she had with Irvine was not true love, but it was safe and comfortable. What everyone needed.

"Irvine took both her hands, and started leading her outside.

"Come with Me." he said, leading her out to the balcony again.

"What is it?" Rinoa asked, looking up at the sky. It was black and empty until one tini star appeared.

Irvine revealed a small box, and inside it was a breathtaking ring.

It was beautifully engraved silver, with ornate coloured stones.

"I know it is already official, but I still want you to have this." he said, "it has been in my family for years. Generations upon generations. And I want you to have it."

"thank you Irvine, it is so beautiful." Rinoa smiled as Irvine slid the ring onto her finger. Then they leant into a kiss, perhaps the most passionate they had shared, although not the most passionate Rinoa had ever experienced. But after a few seconds they sprang apart at a sudden noise. There was a loud sound of horses drawing near, followed by an impatient pounding on the castle door which caused a chaotic amount of chatter and voices. What was going on? Rinoa and Irvine exchanged glances, then headed towards the noise. They entered the main room to see lots of people were crowded down the stairs to the main door. Picking up the bottom of her dress and taking Irvines hand for security, Rinoa pushed through the crowds and down the stairs, forcing her way through those whispering at the bottom.

And finally she saw what they were all whispering about. And her heart practically stopped….

Two imperial soldier stood there, supporting a third who was half dead by the looks of things. And even though his face was covered by his hair, Rinoa knew exactly who it was…..

"Squall?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Well i hope you enjoyed that, let me know what you think and i will definately update soon! much love guys! xx**


	18. The wreckage

**A/N: once again i must apologise for the delay. I am going through exam season right now and also some personal stuff but i really am trying to keep all the stpries up so please keep reading and giving feedback guys, love ya all !**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

-**The Wreckage-**

"Princess Rinoa, is this your Guard?" One of the soldiers asked. Rinoa was almost too overwhelmed to speak. She didn't really know what to feel. There was a relief, but also sadness and a fear.

"y-yes"

"Where can we take him?"

"I..I…"

"Follow me" Irvine said, obviously sensing Rinoa's inability to answer. He lead the soldiers through the whispering, awed crowds of people to one of the spare rooms of the castle, were the 2 men lay him down on the bed.

"What happened?" Rinoa asked tearfully.

"He fought in the war, but he disappeared. We all assumed he had been killed or captured, but we found him unconscious and not to far from here. Although… I am not too sure how much longer he has Princess."

"Irvine." Rinoa said Shakily, "could you please send for…for a doctor."

"Of course." Irvine said. "perhaps you could accompany me" he asked the soldiers, which left Rinoa alone in the room with Squall. Slowly she walked over to where he lay and only then did she the full extent of his injuries. He had bruises and cuts all across his arms and there was massive amounts of blood staining his shirt. Brushing his hair aside, she saw that there was a deep cut just above his eye, but despite it he was still extremely attractive, and it was almost like just one look brought back all the memories of how much she loved him.

"what is going on?", The doctor asked when he returned with Irvine.

"We do not know how bad it is." Rinoa said.

"Who is he?"

"A guard here. He went to war and has only returned now. Can you help him?"

"I do not know Princess, it will depend upon the extent of his injuries" The doctor said before asking both Irvine and Rinoa to leave.

"We should go back to the party." Irvine told Rinoa, laying a comforting arm on her shoulder.

"But I have to wait. I have to see if he's okay…" Rinoa said quietly. "Perhaps you should return to the party, and I will follow in just a few moments."

"Are you sure?"

Rinoa nodded weakly.

"Very well." Irvine agreed and then headed back to the party.

Rinoa paced up and down outside the room, her thought flying back and forth in her head as she waited for the doctor's verdict. Squall was back. Squall. She knew straight away that she still loved him. But it was more complicated now…she was engaged to Irvine. But she knew she could never love him, not the way she had loved Squall. That consuming passionate love that filled up every single thought and minute of the day. But an official royal engagement was not easily broken. What would Squall say, what would he think that she loved Irvine? Would it be possible for him to think that after everything they had shared, everything they had felt and said? Rinoa would have liked to think not, but after all Squall had know all of those things when he chose to leave her behind and go to war.

Just as Rinoa reached the peak of her confusion, the doctor re-emerged from the room.

"Well?"

"Well Princess, it is hard to say. It could easily take a turn for better or for worse. The best thing to do now is to keep him comfortable. I'm sorry Princess"

"Thank you very much" Rinoa said trying to keep her composure and hide her emotions. After the doctor was gone she walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. She lay down slightly and rested her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as she often had done before. But it was different this time, it was weaker, it was faint. But still she heard it, and she clung to it. That faint sound was hope to her.

Hope she could see him again…hope they could reclaim what they had. Rinoa had not really slept properly for some time now, she had never felt truly rested since Squall had gone. But the moment she lay down next to him she immediately felt sleepy. It was the first time since he left that she had felt any kind of peace.

Just being in his presence seemed to bring back all the feelings she had felt before. And she felt calm and whole. But after a few moments she realised it wasn't the same, it couldn't be the same. Because what if he didn't make it? What if the heartbeat that was soothing her now just stopped? What if the feeling was to just…fade away? What if Squall, the only person she had ever truly loved, slipped away and left her all alone? "Don't leave me Squall" she whispered quietly "I can not live without you."

It had been so long since he had left that Rinoa had just about been coping, but now, now he was back al that strength and resolve went straight out of the window. Everything she had been hiding inside wouldn't stay inside any longer and she started to cry, where whole body shaking with the sobs, the tears clouding her vision.

The next thing she knew, it was morning and the sunlight was streaming through the slightly open window. Suddenly realisation dawned on her. Had she been there all night? What about Irvine , the party? Her dress was now creased and her hair was out of place, hiding most of her face, including the marks the streams of tears had left down her skin.

Realising she had to get out of there, she quickly got up and headed for her room, thankful she did not pass anyone on the way. Once in her room with the door safely locked behind her, she fixed her hair as best she could and wiped her face. But as she did, there was a knocking at the door. Who was it? Had people been looking for her?

Slowly and nervously she opened the door and saw that it was Irvine.

"Princess, are you alright?" he asked, concern evident all over his face.

"I am not feeling too well. I am very sorry about last night, I suddenly felt ill and came straight to bed."

"That is what I told your guests, they left an hour or so after the incident with your guard. How is he?"

"I…I do not know. I saw him only briefly last night, I shall check later when I am feeling better."

"I suppose this must be difficult for you." Irvine sighed. "Anyway, I only wanted to tell you that Sir Seifer has returned, and he is looking for you."

Seifer had been absent from the castle from sometimes know. After the war had ended various things were left for him to deal with, meaning he was often away for weeks at a time, only returning the occasional day. But what puzzled Rinoa about Seifer was no matter how long he was away, he always seemed to know exactly what was going on. No doubt he would know Squall was back now. And he would probably not be pleased . He hated squall, that had always been obvious. Why did he have to return now? Things were complicated as it was. This could only make things worse.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

**Please let me know what you think guys and promise to update really soon as poss! **


	19. Waking breath

**A/n: hello! here is another update, which i hope you will enjoy. once again sorry on the slight delay** **i am currently in hellish exam period and loadsa other stuff too, but here is the chapter and i hope you like it, let me know what you think. more soon!**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Once Rinoa had readied herself, changing her dress and smoothing down her hair, she went downstairs and found Seifer waiting in the main room.

"Good day Sir Seifer"

"Good day Princess, how have you been?" Seifer said sounding as though he really didn't care very much. Typical Seifer.

"I heard of your engagement to Prince Irvine, it is very good news. It will be good for the kingdom, and your father must be very pleases. He asked me to deliver his regards, he returned to his palace in Deling early this morning."

"thank you for letting me know. And yes, it really is wonderful news."

"I am also aware that the guard of your returned, the one whom went to war. I must say I am surprised he even survived."

"It is rather surprising, but I am glad."

"It is not surprising you are princess." Seifer said. But there was something in his voice that had an element of implication. Did Seifer know something? Surely he could not…could he?

"What do you mean?" Rinoa asked, trying not to sound to panicked, or more importantly, too guilty.

"I think you know what I mean, Princess."

"I..I.."

"Well princess, I only meant that it must be good for you to have all your guards back, you must feel more…secure" Seifer said with one of his typical infuriatingly annoying smiles.

"I have to go,..I have plans." Rinoa said, quickly leaving the room to get away from Seifer.

Did he know?

It certainly had seemed as though he knew something. Or was he just playing games, being his usual self?

Rinoa prayed silently to herself it was the latter, that he was simply being…Seifer. It was possible he had suspected something maybe, and was trying to taunt her into something , so he could guess from her reaction maybe? But he couldn't know, it would be too devastating if he did.

If Seifer were to ever find out what had happened between Squall and Rinoa, there would be hell. He would not hesitate to tell her Father, if not the whole kingdom about what he knew. There would be outrage. The scandal of it all would ruin Rinoa, she would be forced to abdicate the throne, if not by the people of her kingdom,. Then by her father. Rinoa didn't even want to think what her father would say or even do if he ever found out. Squall would be a dead man, and Rinoa knew she would face a not much happier fate. And what would Irvine do? Everything had gotten so complicated now, she was living in a huge web of lies. If one part of that web snapped, everything would come crashing down.

Rinoa tried to reassure herself that there was no way Seifer could know, no way anybody could Know. She and Squall had always been cautious, they had never been caught or seen by anyone.

"Nobody Knows, of course nobody knows." She said to herself quietly, as she wandered around the castle slightly dazed by it all. Before she even realised it, she had made her way to the room were Squall was.

She checked briefly to see that there was nobody around who could see her going in, but the surrounding area was empty. Quietly she opened the door and saw nothing in the room had changed, Squall was still laying there, completely still. Moving slightly closer to him she could hear his shallow breath, the sound giving her comfort. He was still alive. There was still a chance…

With the cold in the room prickling her skin, Rinoa lit the large fire at the back of the room. The room was now warm and lit by the flickering orange glow. She went back to where Squall lay and crouched down by the side of his bed, leaning over and brushing some of his hair away from his face. But as she did, she suddenly felt a complete loss of breath. She was being held tightly by the throat…by Squall!

"S-squall…" she said, already struggling to breathe.

She looked up as best she could through her dark that had swung in front of her face, and saw squall blink a few times, before letting go of her.

"Rinoa?" he said sounding utterly shocked and confused.

"Squall…you're awake!!"

"What the hells going on, what are you doing here Princess?" Squall said, his eyes darting back and forward suspiciously around the room.

"What do you mean?" Rinoa asked, confused. Why would she not be here? Unless, maybe he didn't know where he was. He had been unconscious, he was obviously thrown by it all. "Squall…" she said softly "You're back, you're home."

Squall sat up, obviously causing him pain, and put in his head in his hands.

"I don't understand…the war…"

"The war is over Squall, it ended months ago."

"No, it cant have…" he said. Rinoa felt incredible sympathy for him, his situation must be horrible. He was clearly dazed and confused.

"Trust me Squall, it is over. You we're missing but they assumed you were dead. But then they found you, and they brought you back to me." Rinoa said, tears springing to her eyes as she relieved every emotion she had felt since he had left all those months ago.

Squall reached out and touched the side of her face. "It's you…it's really you, its really over." he then pulled her towards him, hugging her tightly.

And suddenly every single thought Rinoa had ever had of him, and every feeling she had felt came back to her and she felt so right, so complete. She wrapped her arms around him, and she never wanted to let go. She just wanted to stay forever in that moment, the relief and the happiness…and the overwhelming feeling of love.

"You're back. I missed you so much." She sobbed.

"I missed you too, I never stopped thinking about you." Squall said, sounding close to tears himself.

This was the reunion Rinoa had imagined a thousand times in her head. That every feeling would just Return. And it had. And it felt amazing. He was back, he was alive, he was there for her.

For a few minutes they just sat there, lost in each others embrace which they had both missed so much, and needed more than anything.

But after a while they both relaxed more, just enjoying each others company. Squall lay back on the bed and Rinoa lay next to him, resting her head on his chest.

"I am so glad to see you Rinoa, I thought every moment I was away about you. About how I might never see you again, about how awful I felt for leaving you behind…I know now how stupid it all was…"

"It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that you're back."

"It was so strange though. When I woke up, just then, my first waking breath, I thought about you and you were there. It just didn't understand, it was like a dream. I thought the war was still going on…I didn't expect to see you."

"The war has been over for months, do you not remember atall?"

"No, the last thing I really remember was when the war was still going on. I suppose…something happened to my memory. I remember everything before I left though, you, us. I still feel I should apologise for how I left things here…I should never have acted that way. But I was scared. And I said so may hurtful things to you that I didn't really mean."

"I know. I understand. All that matters is that its over now. And I am sorry too. I should have been more understanding…"

"I am back were I belong now, I know that now. But some of the things I said…they haven't changed. I love you Rinoa, I truly do. But I'm still just a guard…and you're a princess. All those problems, all those issues, they haven't just gone away. It will never be easy, we'll never be free to be together. Even if you can still find it in your heart to love me."

"Of course I can" Rinoa said sitting up and looking him in the eye. "I love you so much Squall."

He smiled, but there was still a sadness in his eyes. "I am glad to know your feelings havent changed and I am grateful to you for that, but the situation hasn't changed. I realised when I was gone that there was no way for us to be together no matter how much I love you. Now that I'm awake, I'll have to go back to dealing with everything. Being your guard, having such a formal. Cold relationship with you. That wont be easy for me,..We still cant be truly together…that is if they will even give me my job back. You're father..Seifer.."

Rinoa placed her finger to his lips to silence him, before kissing him.

"Just for now…forget it all."

And after that they just lay there, being each others comfort and warmth.

Rinoa knew Squall was right, soon all the problems would come flooding back again. More so. There was the possibility now that Seifer knew something. Even without that there was the issue of Irvine. How would she break that to Squall? How would she tell Irvine. She loved Squall a thousand times more, but wasn't it still wrong to carry on behind Irvine's back? It seemed that now, things were only more complicated. By right then, in that moment, Rinoa just did not care. Because Squall was back.


	20. Reunion of the hearts

**A/N: hey, a chapter update! i know its been a while and i'm really very sorry, but i have been so stressed out lately, i really do want to get this story back on track though and have the next few chapters ready, so apologies for the wait and i hope you still enjoy :):) let me know what you think X love ya all  
**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"I do not see why he should." Seifer said, his usual stubborn self.

"Because it is only fair he should be given his job back. He has survived a war and returned to us. Besides he was never actually dismissed."

"He has been absent far too long."

"Because of a war you made him fight"

"I am head of the royal guard Rinoa, I think I know what is best."

"Perhaps you do. But I command even you and I demand he returns to his old position."

A look of annoyed resignation spread across Seifers face. He knew he was beaten.

His arrogance and his attitude often made him either forget or ignore the fact that Rinoa was superior to him and ordinarily Rinoa was the one being under his authority.

She never really knew why, maybe she was scared of him. But this time she knew she had to get her way, and she had to use her influence. She needed Squall back as her guard. She wasn't sure how things would progress with him, but she still needed him around, she needed him close.

Seifer crossed his arms, "fair enough, Princess, if you feel so strongly."

Rinoa turned to leave the room, but Seifer started to speak again

"It is no wonder you are so desperate for him to keep his job, really."

There it was again, that implication…..that look in his eye. Did he really know something? Surely if he did he would have been more forward about it. Subtlety

And Seifer did not mix.

"I am only doing what is right" Rinoa said calmly

"Right for whom? Or should I say, for what? …All though I do suppose it is easier if he is a guard. More opportunity."

"More opportunity for what, Seifer.? I do not know what you are trying to say but…"

"I am not trying to say anything Princess. Why, do you have something to hide?"

"please leave Seifer, you are wasting my time, surely you have things to do."

"Of course Princess." Seifer said, a sly grin on his face as he left.

Seifer had been acting strangely since Squall had gotten back, as had Irvine.

A day or two after Squalls return, he had announced he was leaving for some time to attend to a problem in Dollet and he was yet to return.

Seifer had been in and out when he pleased, as usual, and Squall had been recovering as the doctor had advised. And things had carried on strangely between her and Squall.

Rinoa couldn't tell him about Irvine, but nor could she resist the temptation of their relationship. They would steal a few moments together whenever they could. She would always intend to tell him, but then became overwhelmed with the emotion of seeing him. She still loved him, she couldn't deny that, and deep down she wanted to tell him the truth.

She was glad Seifer was gone now as she could go and tell Squall he had his job back. She went to the balcony of the upper floor, at the back of the castle, were they always met. It was like their special place away from everything and everyone . But before she ventured up there she slipped her engagement ring from her finger. She had to take special care with this, though such a tiny detail. Whenever she was around Seifer or anybody else, she obviously wore her ring as it would look suspicious if she did not. However when she was with Squall, she couldn't wear it as she was yet to tell him the truth.

She made her way to the balcony and Squall was there waiting for her, looking incredibly handsome with his hair blowing in the wind, framing his face.

The war had not taken any toll on his appearance, he looked the same as he had always, the only mark on his face was the distinctive scar she had always known him to have. But Rinoa could tell it had affected him emotionally. Squall had always been quiet and distant, but he was even more so now, he seemed more lost in thought, more pre-occupied, maybe even tormented.

Rinoa had never asked much about the war, and Squall never brought it up so it was best left that way. They had other issues to be concerned with, like most importantly, their relationship. They both still knew everything they had done before the war, it could never work, they could never be properly together. But Rinoa didn't want to think about that..

She greeted Squall as she always did, a hug that gave so much comfort in a few short seconds.

"What did he say?" Squall asked her.

"Well, he did not seem happy about it, but he had no choice but to give you back your job." Rinoa hesitated for a moment, should she tell him about Seifers behaviour, that he might know something? But she decided not too, she didn't want to trouble him anymore.

"I suppose that is good news then." he said eventually.

"You do not sound so sure."

"It is just that, everything is still the same, we are still ignoring the fact that this can never work, how long are we going to go on like this?"

"We can find a way, it's too good to give up on, Squall. I love you too much."

Squall took her hand and then brushed a few strands of hair away from her face. "I love you too Princess, I just don't know what to do this time."

"Take back your job, and we will see what happens as time goes on."

"You're right, Princess." he said pulling her into a kiss. "So how much did I miss while I was gone" he asked a few moments later.

"Nothing of importance, the usual suffocating palace life. Although thankfully Seifer has been absent a lot, so he has been one less worry."

That was at least what she had said, but deep down she knew Seifer was going to be a problem, and she was proven right that night…

Rinoa was dining with a noble family from the nearby village that night, and as much as she hated deceiving him, she had made sure he was not guarding that evening.

Seifer would be there, which was risky enough, and the subject of Irvine could easily be brought up.

The dinner was nothing special or of interest, it was what happened afterwards that changed everything.

Once everyone had gone, seifer said suddenly :"What will you do when prince Irvine returns, Rinoa?"

"What do you mean?" Rinoa asked carefully

"I can understand while he is away, but do you intend to go on in such a way behind his back?"

"I have no ideas what you mean"

"I mean this sordid affair you embark upon with your guard."

The words didn't even sink in properly. Rinoa was too stunned. That was it. Seifer knew. It was over.

"W-what?"

"Oh yes, I do Know. I've known for a while now."

"you know nothing, there is nothing to know."

"then why are you shaking? Now… I think I've been rather fair up untill now."

"Fair? You do not know the meaning of the word."

"oh come now, " seifer said, a twisted sarcastic smile on his face, " that's not nice. I consider it to be most fair I ma yet to mention this to your father…"

Rinoa was surprised that Seifer had kept it quiet that long. He obviously had something to gain from with holding it, blackmail maybe? But Rinoa wasn't about to let him know this, he hadn't won just yet.

"Think what you want. You can prove nothing."

"We will see Princess, we will see."

"Goodnight Seifer." Rinoa said stiffly, before leaving the room as quickly as she could.

She wanted to appear un-fazed, appear strong. But she wasn't strong, inside she was a mess, she was terrified of what would happen. She had to tell Squall……..

She had arranged to meet him after the meal anyway, so she knew he would be there waiting for her, in their usual place.

She ran up the stairs and out onto the balcony. "Squall! Squall, he knows."

"What?" he said, looking nowhere near concerned.

" He knows about us, Seifer says he knows!"

"How?" Rinoa noticed he was being awfully blunt.

"I don't know! But this is awful!"

"perhaps" he said coldly

"Do you not understand? He could tell my father!"

"Or worse" Squall said sharply "your fiancé"


	21. Liberty

**A/N : i'm back. i am very sorry for the delay, but i am still struggling with the school work and all, but i hope you will keep reading, this is kinda an importnat chapter XD i love ya all guys xxxxx**

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rinoa was so stunned that she felt faint. Squall knew?

"W-what?"

"Your fiancée, Prince Irvine." he said. The distance and the edge in his voice easily gave away that he was not at all happy.

"How did you…"

"how did I know? Please Princess, I am not completely stupid"

"But..I..if you knew, why didn't you say something?"

"I did not know for certain. I had my suspicions. But now, the fact you are wearing an engagement ring, well that is the final clue."

Rinoa looked down at her hand and saw the ring sparkling on her finger.

"Squall, I can explain" she said, still stunned.

" I do not want you to explain." Squall said coldly as he pushed past her to leave.

"Wait, please" Rinoa cried, the words coming out more as sobs.

"Why should I wait? How could you do this to me Rinoa?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But be fair, Squall…" Rinoa searched for the words to try and explain what she had done. She had had her reasons, she just couldn't easily explain them.

"Fair?" Squall echoed "How can you even talk about fair after this?"

"Please, just give me one chance to explain" Rinoa said more forcefully, putting her hand on Squalls chest to stop him walking away.

"Fine" he said, even more coldly "Although I don't think I can forgive you, no matter what you say now"

"Squall, you were the one who went to war, you left me here."

"Well you obviously weren't very concerned." Squall said bitterly

"Of I course I was Squall, but I was lonely and afraid and I thought I'd never see you again, I thought you were dead, I couldn't be alone anymore, I just couldn't. And then Irvine, he was there for me, and I needed some one there. And not only that, I had to think about the kingdom, the pressure from my father, at the time I wasn't even in my right mind, but in that one moment, it seemed as if it was the right choice to make."

Squall ran a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner before slamming his fist against a wall.

"Damn it Princess, do you just not understand? I am not annoyed that you agreed to marry Irvine, I am upset but I understand your reasons. What makes me angry, Rinoa, is that you lied to me. This entire time since I came back, you have been lying to me, you carried on like you loved me, like everything was the same this whole time."

"I do love you" Rinoa interrupted, albeit quietly, " I was protecting you"

"Protecting me?" Squall yelled, "you were manipulating me! You kept me blind about it all because it suited you to. I am not your puppet Rinoa, I'm not a toy you can play with when your fiancé isn't around!"

"It is not like that Squall. I love you and I wanted to tell you, I really did, I just couldn't find the right time, the right words. It was all too hard. I planned every time I saw you to tell you, but whenever I saw you…I just got lost in my feelings and the words just disappeared. I know should have told you Squall, but…but…"

Squall now had his back turned to Rinoa, and was looking out over the balcony into the night. "No. Do you know what Princess? I think this is just what we needed, an end."

"An end?" Rinoa echoed, her voice a broken whisper.

"Yes Princess, an end. How long were we going to carry on? We knew it would never work, but neither of us could bring ourselves to admit it, we couldn't find the strenght to end it. Well now we have our end."

"I don't want this to be the end" Rinoa said weakly.

"Well we don't always get what we want Princess." Squall pushed past Rinoa and went inside the castle, heading in the direction of her room. Rinoa chased after him, calling his name. Even to her the idea of a Princess chasing a guard was ridiculous, it was so different to how he used to insist on being so formal. But she didn't care anymore, that professional distance no longer existed. Still, she knew there would be trouble if anybody saw her running after a guard, tears in her eyes. But she couldn't even think about that then. She couldn't think at all, she felt as if she could barely breathe.

Squall reached his room, but she slipped in just before he slammed his door.

"Please Princess." he said, shaking his head "leave me alone."

With that, he started gathering things from around the room.

"what are you doing?"

"Leaving, Princess"

This was all so familiar. It brought back too many memories. That night…it seemed so long ago. It all seemed so long ago. The party, the ambush, she had been so close to…but he had saved her. Then after all the trouble with her father, he wanted to leave and she had convinced him to stay. Exactly like she knew she had to do now.

But it sparked off so many memories of their relationship. It had been so up and down, it had always been difficult. After the night she had convinced him to stay, she had thought they would have all the closeness she always craved, but it all fell apart again when he had carried out the cruel orders of her father. But once again they grew close at the funeral, that day in the snow. But then he disappeared and she fell ill. Rinoa could still remember how scared she was, how much she wished he was there. Then they both gave in, they were finally together ..until the war, and then Irvine, and now this…

It seemed like something was always in the way, but they had overcome it before and Rinoa prayed they would this time.

Coming back to the situation at hand, Rinoa finally spoke again.

"Haven't we been here before?"

"We have. But this time you will not convince me to stay."

"How? How can you just stop loving me, just like that?"

"I am not leaving because I don't love you, I still do. But you and Irvine…"

"I don't love him, Squall" Rinoa said strongly. Because it was the truth. She liked Irvine, but she did not love him.

"Maybe, maybe not" Squall sighed, "but that doesn't change anything. I love you Rinoa, I love you in spite of this and everything else and I love you too much to stay around while you become somebody else's wife. I know we could never be together, but that doesn't mean I can stand to watch you be with somebody else."

"Squall.." she said tearfully, over come by emotion "please stay."

"I can not Princess, it will be far too hard for me."

"But…but I Love you, doesn't that count for anything?"

Squall had become much less mad, and now seemed upset.

"It does, it counts for so much, but it cant change my mind."

Rinoa knew she needed something that would change his mind, and as she had done so many times she reached out and instinctively pulled him into a kiss.

But this time, it was so different, there was so much more passion.

Maybe they both knew it would be their last, but more so Rinoa was hoping it would be a reason for him to stay.

But the kiss went on leading to a place it had never gone before. It was strong and intense. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Before she really knew what was happening she was lifting his shirt over his head as he seemed to be undoing the ties on the back of her dress, the soft velvet dress sliding down her skin and dropping to the floor. Rinoa knew exactly where this was going and she felt so many things at once. A little fear, anticipation, excitement, but most of all she felt safe. Squall lay her down on the bed gently, without breaking the kiss until several minutes later. "I love you" he whispered before trailing kisses down her neck. And things went on from there… For the rest of the night Rinoa couldn't even think, she was too busy feeling so many things, but she knew this was exactly what she wanted…………..

--------------------------

The next morning, Rinoa woke up feeling a mixture of things. Physically she felt tired- the previous night had not involved much sleep- and she also felt a little awkward- as amazing of an experience as it had been it had been her first experience so it was bound to affect her.

But emotionally, she felt amazing. She felt so close to him now, so fulfilled. After waking up a little more, she noticed Squall was gone, though judging by the faint sun outside it was fairly early. Rinoa got dressed and fixed herself up, but as soon as she opened the door she found herself face to face with Seifer.

"Seifer?"

"my, my" Seifer grinned evilly "how do you plan to explain this one? I mean coming out of a guards room in this state? I'd venture to say whatever the two of you were doing crossed the line of your professional relationship."

"Nothing happened" Rinoa lied immediately.

"please Princess, I know exactly what happened. If you want some advice from a humble servant of yours" Seifer said, in a tone more viciously sarcastic than ever before " I suggest you lock doors to rooms in which you intend to carry out such behaviour"

That was it. He knew for sure now.

"I…"

"Oh don't worry about explaining it to me Princess, if I were you I'd save the explanation of prince Irvine…or your father."

Rinoa felt all the blood drain from her face ..this was going to be hell.

"of course.." Seifer continued "I could always keep this information to myself. But that would require something in exchange."

"What do you want Seifer?"

"Well I had it all planned out…but now I know you give it away so easily, I might have to rethink it." Seifer said grabbing her arm.

"Don't touch me"

"You know Princess…you might want to be a little nicer to me. I'll let you know when I've decided what I want. Until then…watch your back, Princess."

----------------------------------

Well i hope you enjoyed that :) please review and let me know what you think and pm me if you want to talk about anything, thanks guys. i'll update soon! x


	22. Revelations

**Disclaimer: I dont own ff8. yet.**

**A/N: well here is another chapter. I am trying to get this story going at a nice pace again ** **thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter, you have all been so supportive and i really appreciate each and every one of your comments. keep reading people :D hope you enjoy this chapter :D**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

-Revelations-

Prince Irvine was relieved to be returning to the castle after the political problems he had been attending to in Dollet. He planned to enter his room and take a long rest -it was still early after all- and later he would go and find Rinoa. But for now, a rest was the best option. The castle was empty and silent, which Irvine assumed was because most people were still sleeping. He had been fully aware of anything major happening in the castle, even while away. His most loyal servant, Zell, had remained in the castle in the prince's absence. And it was Zell himself that came bursting through the door at that moment.

"Your Highness, please forgive my most rude interruption but there is something most urgent that you must know! It concerns the Princess."

"Go ahead then, tell me."

"I was just looking for Sir Seifer to inform him of your return, But when I saw him he was talking to the Princess so I did not approach him. But I could not help but overhear part of their conversation. Prince Irvine, I suspect Princess Rinoa may be involved in an affair with…"

"her guard." Irvine finished, not even giving Zell the chance.

"How did you know?" Zell asked, looking utterly shocked.

Irvine sighed sadly. This was something he had known for a while. He had suspected before the war something was not as it should be but then there was that one day he had overheard Rinoa talk with Selphie, and then that letter…that was almost the final piece of the puzzle and Rinoa's behaviour when Squall had returned from the war had only confirmed it.

"I had always suspected"

"Well, what awful behaviour it is! Have you informed King Caraway?"

"No, and I don't intend to either. And you will mention it to nobody."

"But Prince Irvine, why?"

"I have many reasons. Could you please tell Princess Rinoa I would like to speak to her here, whenever she is free. I think it is time we talked about this."

---------------------------

**S**quall did not really know what to think now, after all that had happened the night before. He sat outside the castle in the cold winds trying to think. Had what he and Rinoa done been right? Although it seemed right at the time, although it had been what he had wanted, Squall felt guilty over it. He wasn't so sure anymore that it should have happened. She was someone else's fiancée, that would never change no matter how much they loved each other. And no matter how much that was, it would never change the fact they couldn't be together. It would never change that he was just a guard, and she was a Princess. She was royalty, she was above him, she was a whole different world. And deep down inside, although he loved her, he knew it should not have happened. And not just that night, none of it should have happened. He should never have let himself fall in love with her, he should have kept his distance and just stuck to doing his job. As much as it hurt him to think it, he sometimes wished he had never met her. That he never knew she existed. But now he did know her, and he loved her. But of course he could never have her. Obviously, if they had never met he couldn't have her, but then he wouldn't miss what he never knew. But he knew all too well now. And he knew he was still lying to her, she still didn't know the truth about his past.

He knew he should tell her, like he knew a lot of other things he should do, but everything seemed blurred together. There was no fact anymore, no truth, no logic, no certainties - it had been lost amongst the dreams, the fantasies, the desire. Nothing made sense anymore. And now he was going to leave it all behind. He wished what had happened with Rinoa could have changed his mind, but it had only made him love her more and that meant he really had to leave. He couldn't watch her marry Irvine, it would be far too painful. He knew that his leaving -once again- would be suspicious… then again, what if what Rinoa had said was right, and Seifer did already know. That fact was only starting to become entirely clear to Squall. When Rinoa had said it, he hadn't paid enough attention, at the time he was too mad and too upset over finding out about Irvine. But now he was realising what it meant. Seifer knew… now, no matter what happened from this point on, things were going to be less than pleasant.

--------------------------------------

"You wanted to see me, Irvine?" Rinoa asked quietly as she entered the room. She wasn't 100 sure what this was about, but she had her suspicions. Had Seifer already told Irvine?

"Please, have a seat, Rinoa." Irvine said. He didn't seem annoyed, so she hoped it was something other than what she had thought.

"Welcome back" she said "how was your trip? I have been awaiting your return."

"The trip was good, thank you. Most importantly, the problems there are now solved. Here, I think there may be one more problem to discuss. And that is you Princess, you and Squall."

So Irvine knew. It didn't really shock Rinoa. It seemed everyone actually knew.

Rinoa didn't say anything for a few minutes, neither did Irvine. There was just silence.

"Was it Seifer?" she eventually asked.

"No, it was not. Although I am aware he knows as well, which could be very dangerous. It was Zell, one of my staff, he overheard you talking with Seifer this morning. That confirmed what I had always thought."

"I do not know what to say. I think an apology would mean very little. I suppose you have already told my father."

"I have not. And I won't be telling him."

Rinoa was very surprised by that, and also by the fact that Irvine was not mad.

"You're not going to tell him?" she asked, still shocked.

"It is not my secret to tell. But you must decide what you want to do now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, about the wedding. Calling it off will make your father very suspicious. I am willing to go through with it, if that makes things easier."

"But…."

"But you do not love me. You love him, I have known this for a long time. But Rinoa, you and I are royalty. We do not always get the privilege of marrying for love"

"I have complicated things terribly. I am very very sorry."

"There is no point in apologising now. You fell in love, it was not something you could control. Although I am curious; if you loved him, why did you agree to marry me?"

"I thought he was dead. And I was lonely and confused. And I was so glad you were there for me; at the time, it seemed like a good idea. Now… I realise it was unfair. But I am unsure whether to carry on with this marriage."

"I will give you time to think, Princess. It is good for the kingdom, consider that, but also consider your feelings. I am willing to protect you from your father, by keeping the arrangement. I suppose…what you do with your guard after that is your choice. And I do not want to influence your decision, Rinoa, but I think there is something you should know." Irvine turned to the table behind him and picked up a pile of papers.

"I heard through various means, that Seifer had in fact requested a 'check' on the background of your guard. I managed to intercept the results, before Seifer received them. But there is something you must surely see."

Irvine handed Rinoa one of the slightly torn pieces of paper and she couldn't believe what she was reading…………

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well i wonder what it is Rinoa now Knows. you'll have to wait and see. please give me some feedback on the chapter and i hope you like it and the next will be up soon!

edit: sorry for so many updates of one chapter, i wanted to add a few little choices.

P.s i may be canging my pen name, but dont worry its still teh same me and i'll be keeping this story and all XD


	23. All falls down

**A/N: well here is another chapter, theres big drama this time XD thanks to everyone who has been reading and thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. please enjoy this one and let me know what you think :D**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Rinoa just stared at the information in front of her. "I don't believe it" she said, dazed and confused.

"It's most unbelievable, I agree." Irvine said "How would one with such a past end up as a Royal Guard. You may want to talk to him about it. I just thought you deserved to know."

"How did you get hold of this though?"

"Well it was sent to the castle for Seifer, but I intercepted it. When I heard it was what Sir Seifer had 'requested' I was curious and slightly concerned. I have never trusted that man. After opening it, I thought it was best you have it, not him."

"T-thank you Irvine. I need a few moments, may we talk again later?"

"Of course, Princess." Irvine said, opening the door for her to leave.

Rinoa didn't know quite what to do with the information she had been given. She had to talk to Squall… she wanted an explanation for all this. She sent one of the other guards to look for him while she read through the information again. His past was far from what he had told her.

Oh he had been a soldier in the army, but Rinoa had not thought it would be the Balamb army. The very army that hated her kingdom, that hated her, hated her father and had been responsible for her mother's death; Squall had been part of that. How could he lie about something so important?

As she continued to look through what she had been given, becoming increasingly angry with everything he had hidden from her, there was a knock on the door.

"Princess, it is me, you wanted to see me."

She, of course, recognised the voice.

"Come in, Squall."

A soon as he walked in she felt her anger soften a little, it was after all the man she loved. But she could not let this go.

"Yes Princess?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"W-what?"

Rinoa held the piece of paper up in the air, to illustrate her point and the she began to read aloud from it

"Squall Leonhart, Commander in the Balamb army, highly ranked and respected until expelled for betrayal…"

Squall interrupted, "Rinoa…"

"I'm not finished." Rinoa yelled, continuing to read from the information in front of her "Lived as a Mercenary for two years while wanted by the Balamb army, ruthless and dangerous, whereabouts currently unknown…"

"I can explain."

"Explain which part Squall, what you actually did for the past 10 years of your life, or why you lied about it, because I'm fairly interested in both." Rinoa's tone sounded cold and bitter, even to her own ears. But he deserved it.

"I know it sounds bad but…"

"Sounds bad? It is bad Squall. The Balamb army…those murderers, the very army that tried to destroy my Kingdom, that killed my own mother."

"I did not choose to be a part of it Rinoa, I had no choice, I was born in to it. I'm not like the rest of them."

"I understand that; I hate it, but I understand it. But what I don't understand is how you could lie about something so huge after everything we've been through. You say you are not like them…but you're a liar and a traitor, you can't be trusted. You're exactly like them."

"Rinoa, please, just listen to me."

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say, it will just be more lies. I want you to leave Squall. I no longer require your services here."

"What, are you firing me?"

"Yes. I have plenty of other guards who I actually can trust." Rinoa said, turning her back to him.

"But what about everything else, what about us, you are going to let this all go because of this? I understand you're mad Rinoa, I should have told you. I wanted to, but there was never the right time. And I couldn't risk Seifer or anybody else finding out. And then everything got so complicated with us and… it wasn't even important to me anymore, I didn't want to think about the past, I just wanted to think about the future, with you. This doesn't change how I feel about you Rinoa."

Rinoa spun round to face him, her long hair flying behind her "And how do I even know what you feel anymore?? You tell me you love me but how do I know that's not a lie like every other thing? I can't trust anything you say anymore, I don't believe any of what we had was true. Everything was fake."

"It was not. Everything I felt, everything I said was real. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to lose you. Please Rinoa."

"It's… it's too late Squall. I want you to leave."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. I refuse."

"It was an order, not a request. And you will do as I say now. You are nothing but a guard to me anymore, and I am your superior."

"I don't believe that, Rinoa, and neither do you. Don't pretend that I mean nothing to you. You love me as much as I love you"

"I do love you, but I don't trust you. You're a killer, a mercenary and a liar."

"I'm still the person you fell in love with. And maybe that should never have happened, but it did, things worked out this way for a reason."

"Don't try and use that one…"

"You are being unreasonable Rinoa."

That, more than anything, annoyed Rinoa. How could he call her unreasonable? How could he even try and make any of this out to be her fault? "I am being very reasonable. But how could you even think I'd take you back after this. I can never trust you again. How do I know this wasn't all some plan?"

"Plan?"

"Yes, a set-up. For all I know you could still be with the army, you came here to do their bidding. What was the idea, bed the Princess to make her easier to kill?"

"That's ridiculous, listen to yourself. I've apologised as much as I can. Besides I was kicked out of the army, remember."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"I want to know why you were made to leave the army, I want details, I deserve that at least."

"I disobeyed orders given by my superiors…killed one of my own men. I just… didn't agree with what the army was doing. So I stopped it. Then I left as a traitor and they want me dead."

"I see. And why did you come here, why take this job? Why would someone from Balamb want to guard the princess of the Galbadian empire?"

"Honestly? At the time I did not care who you were, I needed a job as a cover, they were looking for a mercenary, they'd never look at a guard. But after that…I saw that you were really worth protecting."

Rinoa just shook her head "Why is everything always so complicated?"

"Life is hard."

"Of course, Irvine knows too."

"Knows about what, us, or this?'

"Everything, he knows everything. And I think Seifer is suspecting you too, he requested all this information. I really think it would be best for you and I if you did leave Squall."

"I think so too. That's just the way it has to be. But I'll never forget you Rinoa, I'll never fully move on."

"I don't want you to go." Rinoa said quietly "I wish it didn't end this way"

"One last kiss." Squall said pulling Rinoa into a deep and loving kiss. It was so bittersweet - they both felt so much comfort, but it was so sad, their last real moment together. The two of them only pulled apart when they heard the door swing open and a loud voice demand "What in the name of God is going on here?"

They both knew exactly who it was without even looking. King Caraway.

---------------------------

:O oh noes. Hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think :D:D


	24. Merciless

**A/N: i'm back! and so is this story. i completely apologise for the delay in this update, it was far to long, but i've been on vacation and had a few personal things happen which slowed me down. My life is actually easier when i'm at school XD so hopefully these updates will be more frequent now. I know this sotry has dropped quite a few readers since the start so many many thanks to those of you who keep reading and giving feedback, it means alot :D So, here is a new chapter. At the end of the last chapter King Caraway walked in on Squall and rinoa, so in this chapter find out what that means for our lovely couple. oh yes, theres drama! i really hope you enjoy it and please give myour thoughts on it :D**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Instantly, both Squall and Rinoa froze. Caraway was still in the door way of the room, looking furious, demanding explanation. But they were clueless as to what to say, they were too shocked, scared. Throughout their relationship, the greatest fear had been people finding out, and Caraway was the worst person who could possibly have caught them.

"Well" he yelled "What the hell is going on??"

"I can…explain." Rinoa said weakly, even though she hadn't thought of anything to say that would make this better.

"This is disgusting, this behaviour, how dare you!" The King narrowed his eyes at Squall "I knew you were trouble" his voice was a furious shout, echoing throughout the room "How dare you, a guard, have the nerve to lay your hands on a Princess."

"Father." Rinoa jumped in, trying to defend Squall "it was not his fault, you can not just blame him."

"Silence, Rinoa. I want to hear what pathetic explanation this moron will offer."

"I love your daughter, surely that should be the only explanation you need."

King Caraway laughed slightly "You really are bad news. You come in here, you start fights, you disappear off to fight wars, you disobey orders, you are one of the worst guards I have ever known and now this. I really ought to have you hung."

"No!" Rinoa objected, "You cant do that! I love him, we want to be together."

"As if that will ever happen, as if I will ever see my daughter with such a disobeying and disgusting commoner. "

"How can you say such a thing? I am Royal, but I am no better than him because of it!" Rinoa cried

"You were born better but you have been ruined Rinoa. You are engaged to a Prince and here you are, behind his back and mine, offering yourself out to guards, like some common whore!"

It was at that point that Squall got incredibly annoyed, and stood up , face to face with the king

"How dare you. You cant say things like that. You say we are the ones in the wrong but you, you have no idea. Your arrogant, and rude and insensitive. You are a terrible king and a worse father."

"You have no right to speak to a King that way." he screamed furiously . "And as for you" he pointed to Rinoa "You will never rule after this. You are a disgrace to yourself, to me, to this family and to the entire Kingdom of Galbadia."

"Fine. I don't want to rule. I want to choose how to live my life. If I don't rule, then we can be together."

"Oh I don't think so. I'd rather see you dead than with a commoner and a liar like him. The two of you will never be together as long as I am alive."

It was at this point that Seifer came into the room behind the king, looking rather satisfied with himself.

"You: Rinoa said, pointing her finger at him, "You did this."

"Actually, I had nothing to do with this. But my word, is this exciting."

"You are sick Seifer, you are just as bad as him." Squall said, refering to Caraway

"Squall , Squall, Squall. Have you let fooling around with a Princess go to your head? You're still just a guard, you can not speak to me or the King that way."

"Why not. You know what, maybe its time I told you just what I think of you, both of you…"

"Squall, don't.." Rinoa said

"Why not. I mean your fathers probably going to have me hung anyway, it would be shame to go without leaving them something to think about."

"This ought to be amusing" Seifer muttered under his breath.

"I think I'll start with you Seifer. You are one of the worst people I have ever come across, and I've encountered so many corrupt and evil souls. But your worse. At first I thought you were just lazy, you never did anything, you had everyone else do your work then you took the glory. But then you showed your self to be much worse, your corrupted, devious and evil. You have no loyalty to anyone or anything. You have no feelings."

"Yes, you are probably right." Seifer chuckled "But look were your feelings got you."

"And what do you have to say to me?" The King demanded.

"You, your selfish. Rinoa is your only child and you wont let her be happy. Whether or not you like it, I make her happy. But you don't care about her at all, you only care about your kingdom."

"That's absurd, of course I care about her"

"No, you do not, you never have! When she almost died you were more concerned about what impression she would give of the kingdom, you only ever wanted to marry her off to Prince Irvine."

The king didn't respond, and said in a freakishly calm manner "I must find an appropriate punishment."

Rinoa knew that if it was not death, it would be some kind of torture, for Squall at least.

"Seifer, if you could perhaps take our guard here to the basement."

Seifer nodded, his eager with an evil glint. Rinoa had never been in the basement. But she didn't like the sound of it at all. Seifer grabbed Squall by the arm abd dragged him out of the room.

"Were are you taking him" Rinoa demanded, "What are you going to do to him."

"Things a princess should not See." Caraway said, before heading to leave the room.

"But what…about me?"

"Your time will come my daughter" Caraway said, then he closed the door behind him, and Rinoa heard him lock it. She was trapped. Undoubtedly so she couldn't interfere in whatever they had planned for Squall….

----------------------------------------------------------

Torture. It was something Squall had always found it some what cowardly to use. Royalty used it a lot. Giving out pain and malice in an unfair situation. There was no chance for the person you were inflicting it on to fight back, no way you would ever pay for your actions. Suited Caraway perfectly. Of course he would never get his hands that dirty. He simply watched it all with a disgusting sense of enjoyment. It was Seifer of course who got the pleasure of actually inflicting it, and he was clearly enjoying it. He had been the whole time. All of Squalls body ached, he was covered in blood and bruises from all the horrible things they had done. But he refused to scream, refused to show pain. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction, that was exactly what they wanted. All he could think about was how much he prayed they weren't doing anything similar to Rinoa. He hoped the King was not sick enough to harm his own daughter, but it was impossible to tell with Caraway. Eventually Caraway dismissed Seifer and began to pace the room.

"I hope you have learnt your lesson." He said

Squall didn't bother to respond.

"Whats the matter. In too much pain to talk?"

"I have nothing to say to you." Squall said bitterly.

"Oh you must have, there must be so many more hateful things you want to say to me."

"I have just one question."

"Go ahead, ask it. You cant make your situation any worse."

"Why did you want to let her die?"

"Excuse me?" Caraway obviously had no idea what Squall was talking about. He had forgotten. That's how little it had meant, like it was every day.

"Rinoa. When she was sick, you were so quick to give up, to let the doctor end her life."

"It wouldn't have been all bad."

"How can you even say that."

"Oh of course, I'd have no heir to this Kingdom. But I never wanted Rinoa to rule anyway, and think of the sympathy. Poor King Caraway, first his wife, and now his only daughter."

"You make me sick."

"I could say the same as you. You have violated every issue of trust, you do not know your place."

"Maybe, maybe that is all true. But I am a far better person than you. And that says a lot."

"I wonder what Prince Irvine shall make of all this. He cares deeply about Rinoa. His reaction ought to be …well, I can not say it will be good news for you."

"If I was him, or if I was you in fact, all I'd be was embarrassed. Your daughter, with a commoner. She was willing to reject a Prince, and be disowned for the family name, just to be with me. It must hurt."

It was just then that Seifer returned to the room, with Rinoa behind him. As soon as she saw the bloodied and battered Squall, her eyes filled up with tears. "Why did you do this?" she cried to her father.

"To show you the consequences of your actions. To show you what your stupidity has done."

"What is going on?" came a voice from behind everyone. Prince Irvine was standing in the doorway.

"Ahh Prince Irvine. Who would you like to explain, myself or Rinoa."

"I'd quite like to hear it from you. I trust your word as a king." Irvine said.

"Well, your fiancée, has been deceiving you, she has committed the most terrible of sins. She has been in a relationship, with this man" he pointed at Squall "Her guard, no less."

Irvine exchanged a quick glance with Rinoa. He knew. He knew already. "That is …it is atrocious." Irvine said, turning away. "I am very deeply hurt."

Rinoa didn't understand exactly what Irvine was doing. He knew, why did he not come forward and say so?? She shook her head at him.

"If you will excuse me" Irvine said, "I would like to be alone now." he then left room and Rinoa was left alone with Seifer and her father, with Squall half unconscious in the corner.

"Seifer." Caraway said, "I think we should give these two a moment together to..reconsider their options. I would like to speak with Prince Irvine."

"But…" Seifer protested.

"Now." Caraway demanded.

And so Rinoa was left with Squall. She instantly ran over to him and kneeled down beside him. "Oh Squall, what have they done to you."

"nothing I was not expecting" he said weakly, the hours of pain starting to take its toll.

"They are sick. How can such a man be allowed to rule."

"What did we expect. We knew he would not take it well."

"We…we have to run away."

"There is no point Rinoa, it is as good as over."

"But I love you."

"And I love you too. But there is no way for us. If I survive your father will make sure I never see you again. You have to live your life without me."

"I can not do that" Rinoa cried "I have never loved anyone else like this"

"But you will. You'll find someone else. And I'll never forget you."

Rinoa didn't say anything but instead broke down in tears . This was too hard. She couldn't believe this had ended this way. Why had something good come to such a horrible ending?

It was only a moment more they had before Caraway returned to the room.

"I have spoken with Prince Irvine. You are lucky he is a generous, kind and gentle man. He has declined the option to have you hung for what you have done, Squall."

Rinoa's face portrayed shock, but some happiness. Irvine was indeed a gracious man. Even if he had not admitted to knowing all along.

"He says, to hang you , we would have to tell the world what you and Rinoa have done, and that would bring great shame, and he is correct. So he will not demand your life for this."

But Rinoa and Squall were not in a position to be relieved "I on the other hand, will be. I suggest, that you say your goodbyes."

------------------------------

Let me know what you thought of it and the next update will be soon!


	25. Countdown

**A/N: Well, here is another update! Again sorry for the delay, but hopefully I'm getting better with that! I hope you will enjoy this chapter, we really are moving to the conclusion right now. There are 4-5 chapters left after this, all concentrating on the big ending really :D Many many thanks to all my reviewers, I luv ya all :D enjoy the chapter and please leave me some feedback!**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------**

Rinoa instantly grabbed Squall's arm and clung to him the moment her father spoke "What do you mean?" She asked, tearfully.

"I will be requesting a public hanging for what you have done."

"No , you cant do that !" Rinoa cried

"I am the King, I can do whatever I wish."

"What about Irvine, he was right! Are you going to admit to the world what happened?"

"Of course not. For the good of the Kingdom, I will keep your sordid affair under wraps."

"Then, how?? How will you justify taking his life?"

"Oh I will find my ways, my dear daughter. Have no doubt about that. " Caraway laughed to himself "I'll give you a few moments to deal with the news." His smile was sadistic.

"What are we going to do?" Rinoa sobbed as Caraway left the room.

"There's nothing we can do." Squall said so calmly that it scared Rinoa

"What do you mean, there is nothing we can do? Are you just going to give up?"

"I don't see another way. Your father will get what he wants."

Rinoa stood up and stared at Squall through her tears "Are you just going to sit there, resign yourself to accepting such an unfair fate?"

"Do you think I want to die? Do you think I want your father to win? No, of course I don't. But there is nothing we can do now! Trying to fight it will only make it hurt more. Just…give up Rinoa"

"No! I refuse! You may be giving up on us, but I won't!"

"You're wasting your time."

"Maybe I am, but at least I'm trying."

Rinoa and Squall didn't get to say anything more; Caraway strolled in to the room, announcing "Time is up. What a shame."

"I hate you." Rinoa told him, whipping round to stare at him, narrowing her eyes through her tears.

"I know you do." Caraway said coolly, and unconcerned. "I'm only looking out for your interests, you'll understand when you're older."

"I'll understand when I'm older? I am old enough to know that you are evil at heart and you will never change. You do not deserve the respect you get, you do not deserve to be a king or a father." Ordinarily Rinoa would be afraid to scream at her father the way she was, but somehow, she just could not care anymore.

But as she expected, her father became incredibly angry. "Do not think that you can act towards me in whatever way you want Rinoa, you may not have been punished for this little charade but carry on your attitude and you will regret it."

"Do your worst. Nothing you will do will hurt me as much as killing Squall. Whatever you do to me after that… I couldn't care. I will regret nothing that I say to a black-hearted man like you. The only thing I regret is being born into this family, born to such a horrifically selfish and terrible father!"

It seemed Caraway had had enough of what he perceived as Rinoa's poor attitude and decided to put an end to it. Making no effort to handle it rationally he simply hit Rinoa across the face, so hard that she fell to the floor.

Squall immediately went to her side and pulled her towards him, he looked up at Caraway, a burning hatred in his eyes "If you want rid of me, fine, let this whole thing end with my death. But do not harm Rinoa."

"Honourable" Caraway sniggered to himself "I haven't quite decided what to do with her yet. Perhaps I'll decide once I've dealt with you. Of course that way, you may never know. What a shame." Caraway then clicked his fingers, and several of his soldiers came through the door.

"Please escort the Princess to her room. And don't let her leave."

The soldiers immediately followed the order and grabbed Rinoa, but she desperately tried to struggle against them "No" she cried hysterically "let me go! Squall!!"

"Rinoa… I love you." Squall said

"I love you too." Rinoa whispered. It was loud enough for him to hear, but it sounded so broken. She was broken. Her heart was broken. She would never see him again. Never feel what it was like to be held in his arms again. Never have that feeling of safety and comfort that she felt with him. Her life was pointless from this day forward.

Eventually she gave in, and just let the soldiers drag her away, and lock her in her room.

And she just sat there for hours, on the floor, staring at the walls, with tears falling permanently from her eyes.

Her distressing solitude was interrupted though, by a visit from Seifer, the last person she wanted to see.

"Get out." She said as soon as he entered the room.

"Your father has sent me to give you a message."

"I do not want to hear anything you or my father has to say."

"You will want to hear this. It's the arrangements for tomorrow, when this tragic little fairytale of yours will come to an end. Sunset… such a fitting time."

Was he talking about Squall's death?

"Tomorrow?" Rinoa said weakly. It was sooner than she had even expected "Why is it happening so quickly?"

Ordinarily the arrangements for this type of thing would take at least a few days. No doubt her father had pulled a lot of strings.

"Well..." Seifer said casually "Assaulting a Princess is quite a serious crime."

"What are you talking about?" Rinoa demanded, trying not to let her confusion show.

"Well, its killing two birds with one stone, isn't it. We have your little lover who needs hanging but for a crime we can not really name and a Princess with a horrifically bad bruise." Rinoa touched the side of her face where the deep purple bruise was forming from where her father had hit her. "It's just good sense really."

Rinoa had to get it all sorted in her head. They were going to lie about Squall committing a crime against her, to get him hung for being in love with her. Her father was more twisted than she could ever imagine.

"Do you think you will get away with this? Liars are always caught out"

"In a perfect world. But I'm sure you know by now how far from perfect this world is."

"Mostly because of people like you." Rinoa snapped angrily "Now get out."

Seifer shrugged and left the room, locking the door behind him.

For the rest of the night, Rinoa did not sleep. And for the rest of the following day she just sat there, staring out of the window, wondering how long it was until sunset, when the horrible event would happen.

It was only as late afternoon approached, that her father came to her room.

"Why Rinoa, are you not dressed? We must be going to the jail soon. It's almost sunset."

"I am not going." Rinoa said. That was the response she knew Caraway had expected. She knew he would make her go anyway. That was part of her plan. He didn't know she had a plan. But it had occurred to her through the hours that had ticked slowly by. She would simply, protest against the claims being made. How could they claim he harmed her if she denied it. It was so simple, but it had to work. It was the evidence of the supposed victim, that the supposed crime never happened.

"Of course you are. You should ready yourself, we must leave soon."

"Fine."

Once Caraway had left, Rinoa did as he had said and got ready. She put on the most formal dress she had, she didn't know why, she just did. It was only a few moments after she was ready that her father called for her, and they left, beginning the journey to the jail.

Rinoa could not believe her father had not thought she would think of this plan. He had obviously underestimated her, thought she would just go along with everything.

However when they arrived there, things began to feel strange. Her father did not lead her to the large public gallery as she had expected, but towards the cells. What was going on?

Was this were Squall was being kept? Was he allowing her to see him one last time? Obviously not.

He led Rinoa to an empty cell, surrounded by guards. On his command they grabbed her, forced her into the cell, and locked the door behind her!

"What are you doing?" Rinoa cried!

"Did you think I would not know, that you would try and hatch some stupid little plan. Stand up ad deny the claims or something equally pathetic. I wouldn't risk your presence there."

"Let me out of here!" Rinoa demanded

"You shall be released when it is all over." Caraway said, turning and leaving.

When it was over… when Squall was dead. What was the point… They might as well just let her die in this cell. She could not believe any of this was happening.

He was to be hung at sunset. And it was almost sunset.

The sinking sun was casting an uneasy orange glow through the bars across the window of the tiny dank cell. The young raven haired girl sat huddled in the corner against the wall, tears stinging at her eyes and her sobs echoing against the empty stone walls. She wiped at her tears with the velvet sleeves as she rocked back and forwards, teardrops splashing on the cold, hard floor.

"Why?" she whispered to herself "why did it turn out this way? It is not fair. Squall… why can't I be with you?"

Rinoa didn't belong in that cell and she knew it. And Squall didn't deserve to be hung, he had done nothing wrong. Love wasn't a crime, and yet he was being punished like it was the most criminal of all offences on earth. Love was something that could not be restrained, could not be held back and could not be controlled. Neither of them had planned to fall in love. But like so many things, the changing of the seasons and the night passing into day, it had just happened… And now it was all going to end.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Dun dun dun! Well, anyone who has been reading from the very beginning of the story, or who remembers the first chapter, will recognise that link :D As I said, moving towards the final few chapters now so I hope you will stick with this story :D let me know what you think, and I will be updating soon :D:D**


	26. The final wish

Authors Note: Right, to anyone who is still reading this story, sincerest apologies for the dealy. Things have been to hectic lately with college and work and other personal troubles, but finally got this chapter up and have got the rest written to update soon. Can only hope people are still interested in this story XD. If so were are up to the last few chapters, so its starting to get into the conclusion.Many thanks to people who have read this far and who will continue to read, the update is for you. Couldnt have kept this story going without ya, so enjoy x

----------------------------------------------

The Final Wish

It seemed like hours has passed as she sat in that cold entrapping cell. Maybe it had only been minutes or seconds. Maybe it had been days. Her concept of time was completely lost, her mind only able to think of Squall. She was reliving everything she had ever been through with him, it had been hard, it had been one of the hardest periods of her life, but in so many ways it had been amazing. As awful, painful, terrible as the ending to it all had been, there was a flutter of gratefulness in her heart, she knew that by experiencing such an intense love she had experienced something so many people would not. The one thing had given her life meaning, no matter what she went on to do. It was like something no-one could ever know. The richest man alive with all the gold of the world never know the joy she had felt. The most popular person with all the fame possible would not know the closeness she had felt to one special person. And a king with power over so many Kingdoms would never know how a heart was humbled by love. All of these thoughts were whizzing around her head, she could not focus on anything at all. Everything around her seemed a blur, insignificant and distorted. Even the light that barely flowed in through the narrow bars seemed unfamiliar to her. Was it the hazy light of day or the light of moon. How long had it been now, would Squall already be dead? If so, what was really the point of trying to escape the cell. Rinoa knew her life would be nothing but empty days now, she would simply feel loneliness and despair every day she lived. She was beginning to wish her father had decided to punish her by death too, it would make things so much easier.

She collapsed against the wall, defeated by her own thoughts which were now gone. She didn't know what to think anymore. She closed her eyes, hoping for just a few brief seconds she would be able to recall some of the peace, the way she felt with Squall. But she was constantly startled by the knowledge she would never feel that again. Rinoa was only taken from her own thought by the sound of voices and commotion. What on earth was going on now? The voice she could only assume belonged to a guard was yelling for some support from his colleagues, but was soon silent , after a suspicious sounding bang. Soon a familiar voice was heard, and it appeared to be getting close way "I am sure it will be this way" she heard.

Moments later a very familiar face appeared at the bars she was encaged in.

"Irvine?" Rinoa gasped, her voice heavy with relief, but also shock. What was Irvine doing there?

"Princess, sorry for the delay." Irvine said, holding in his hand what was obviously the key to the cell, which he then put in the lock, opening the door and allowing freedom. But Rinoa didn't really need to take that freedom, why bother going out to live a life of pain?

"Hurry Princess" Irvine urged. But Rinoa didn't move. She didn't even meet Irvine's gaze.

"Why even try" she said eventually "It is too late now. Nothing can be done. Its over."

"No, Princess, that is why I am here. It is not too late."

Rinoa finally looked up at Irvine, her breath catching in her throat. "W-what?"

"It is not to Late Princess, there was a delay, the hanging has not taken place. Hurry now and we can stop it"

Too shocked to deal with the main fact at hand, Rinoa asked "Why are you helping me"

"I will explain on the way Princess , we must hurry."

Realisation finally setting in, Rinoa got to her feet and took Irvine's hand as he lead her out of the horrible confinement area.

"I am helping you because I ought to. A lady in distress is still a lady in distress, no matter what the reason. This was the only was I could help, I had to hide my support for you and your father. I only hope this will work, so you can be with your love. I know it will never be me,. But that does not mean I do not want you to be happy."

Rinoa was touched by Irvine's attitude. She knew, that despite first impressions he was a genuine man with a good heart. Something the world seemed to lack. As Irvine lead her, she noticed the guards strewn across the floor obviously unconscious. "They were being un co-operative" Was all Irvine said on the matter.

After a few moments Rinoa found herself at the top of the large public gallery. At the bottom of the stairs she could see Squall. And the sight caused her so much pain. He was alive, but only for a few more moments. She could Just about hear what was being said. The executioner was speaking in a deep, unnerving voice "Squall Leonhart, sentenced on charges of assaulting a Royal, punishment is to be public Hanging"

Rinoa did not know what to do, perhaps Irvine had not planned this far. But suddenly, overcome with some kind of inner strength, she started to run down the stair case. When she had almost reached the bottom she yelled "Stop" in her loudest voice. Everyone's attention immediately turned to her. Which is exactly what she wanted. She had halted the proceedings.

"I demand you let this man go" She yelled at the executioner, obviously a henchman of her father.

"I do not think so" was all the man said.

"You claim he is here for assault, assaulting me no less, and when the very supposed victim stands before you and says it is not true you have no right to continue. This man is innocent and it is justice to let him go."

"Justice" The man laughed.

"I am the Princess Of Galbadia, and you will not disobey me" She screamed. Everyone looked shocked.

No one was more shocked than Rinoa herself. She had never spoken with such force. She did not care for it, but it was needed now. All around her whispers could be heard travelling through the crowd. But she was beyond caring now. What did it matter what people thought?

The man looked shocked by her outburst, but was still not yielding. "This is an order from the King, you can not undermine it, you do not rule a kingdom, you lack the power"

"perhaps I can assist." Irvine said. He had now appeared behind Rinoa "I too consider this a breach of justice. I will not stand for it. I demand, as a crowned Prince you let this man go. Or there will be repercussions." All the time Irvine was speaking, Rinoa was staring into squalls eyes, and he was looking back into hers. Both knew they may never get to be together again. It was like their final silent goodbye.

Eventually the man gave in, conceding to Irvine's calm will rather than Rinoa's outburst. The moment Squall was freed, Rinoa called out to him "Run" and he made a desperate attempt to escape, running away quickly.

Suddenly Rinoa heard the calming voice of her father. She had not seen him earlier, but now noticed he was descending the stairs behind her. "What a charming Display" he said, his voice acidic with hatred. "A princess willing to betray her own father and a Prince her partner in crime. I feel, prince Irvine an alliance between my empire and your small lands may not be appropriate after all."

"My Kingdom may be small, King Caraway, but I would never ally myself with such a man as you."

Clicking his fingers, guards appeared and he commanded them to go after Squall and instructed some others to 'escort' prince Irvine home. As they followed his order he grabbed Rinoa by the arm and began dragging Rinoa up the stairs.

As he did he whispered to her "Unlike you I have understanding of public Image. I know what is acceptable. And I will deal with this in private, for it is certainly not going to be fit for the public to see."

Rinoa did not know what he meant. Nor did she want to. But she would soon find out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next few chapters will be the final ones, 4 or so to go, so stick with this for an update. thanks for reading!!!!!!! Next chapter we'll see what carawy does for revenge and also what will happen to squall and rinoa. thanks


	27. Misery In the Dusk

A/N: sorry for the delay, blame my stupid job XD but we are reaching the very last chapters of the story now. there are 3 after this hopefullly you'll enjoy this even though its been a while, and more will be up sonn :D please leave me some thoughts and thanks to all who have been reading :D :D

----------------------------------

Squall just kept running and running, he no longer knew where he was, or where he was going. He just knew his life depended on him getting away. At least, for now. He was determined he would go back for Rinoa, but the time wasn't right yet. No doubt Caraways men were still on his trail. He had to wait until it was safe for him to return to the castle, and get Rinoa. He could only hope and pray that nothing would happen to her in the time until he could save her. Doubt was ever-present though, even if he rescued Rinoa, were would they go from there. They obviously couldn't be at the castle, or anywhere near for that matter. But they couldn't just run away, Rinoa was a princess, every guard in Galbadia would be sent to look for her, there is no way she could just slip away unnoticed. All of a sudden, Squalls heart started to ache, his thoughts became dizzy, and his entire body was racked with the pain of all the running he had done. He had to stop, for just a few minutes. He was in quite a densely wooded area, so even if Caraways men were closely on his trail, he wouldn't be easy to find. He ducked into the part of the forested area, were a stream ran weakly, alongside a cluster of aged rocks. He sat down on the ground, leant against the cold weathered rock, and closed his eyes. He could hear the stream gently trickling and he could feel the cold of night setting in. But none of that concerned him, he was just concerned with trying to focus and centre his thoughts. Because one thought had come about that really disturbed him, a voice in his head seemed to keep repeating it : '_Maybe I shouldn't go back for her'. _He shocked and appalled himself by even thinking it, but the logical part of him wouldn't give up.

'It wouldn't be safe to go back…..'

'We could never be together after this….'

'Her duty is to her country……..'

'They'd catch us for sure…….'

'And who knows what Caraway is still capable of…'

'I should never have got involved in this in the first place….'

'I could just keep running, try to put it behind me'

The thoughts were flooding his head to quickly. He pounded his fist against the rock, trying to silence his own thoughts. But partly, he knew they were right. He shouldn't have ever let it get to this point. Squall had always been rational, to the point' cold, closed off. Maybe it wasn't healthy, but letting go of all those things had nearly cost him is life, what he had done had not only affected him, it was not even just He and Rinoa. His actions had affected Galbadia's future. And all because he let his cold exterior slip and fell in love. The urge to run and leave it all behind was getting stronger as Squall had to scold his own stupidity. He was all prepared to run...but then he thought about Rinoa. Her voice, her eyes, her smile. He couldn't go on never experiencing those things again…could he?

Hours seemed to pass before he finally made his decision………………………………

------------------------------

Rinoa had been left sat in the cold dark basement of the castle for hours now. Left to think about what she had done was her fathers reasoning. He had warned her she would face punishment, but she hadn't imagined it would be so bad. She shuddered as she was unable to forget the way he had beaten her, kicking ad punching until her whole body was in agony. It was not what she expected from a King, even one as cruel as Caraway. Of course Seifer had played a fair part in it too. It was as the images played again and again in her head and her body ached that she realised she was barely conscious, everything was blurred, her body was unable to move. She felt dead. Or at least on her way to it. She couldn't help thinking that she had sacrificed her own life to save Squall. And she felt she had done the right thing. Maybe she was a princess, and he was just a guard, but to her, his life had more value. Her life had always been set in stone, her path set out for her, and it was bathed in the darkness of misery. Squalls past may have been troubled but she had hopefully given him independence, the means to a free future. If he had made it away, if he had pulled of the escape. She wondered were he was now, still running, still hiding? Was he thinking of her. But maybe that was selfish. He should be focusing on getting away she thought to herself, not on saving me. When thinking of Squall became to painful, too saddening, she began to wonder what had become of Prince Irvine. She was full of gratitude for how he had helped her and Squall. She knew she would never see him again- Caraway could not harm him, but it was unlikely he would ever choose to return to Galbadia. She never had a chance to fully thank him, but she hoped he knew how significant what he had done for her was. But thinking of these things was tiring, and soon Rinoa felt her eyes fluttering closed, like she was slipping away, drifting off, maybe into sleep, maybe into something else…………………

-----------------------------------------

Morning had dawned and Squall was still moving, he had been moving all night, ever since he had made his decision on were to go. He didn't know exactly were he was, but he was in a small quite village. The buildings were tiny and poorly constructed. There appeared to be some small homes, a farm, what seemed like an inn and some shops. He knew he shouldn't, but he needed a rest. He doubted Caraways men would come to a place like this. He could just have a small rest, then carry on moving at nightfall, perhaps that would be safer anyway. Constantly looking over his shoulder, he entered the small inn, and saw a handful of villagers in there. There was an old couple with young children, a group of men sitting in the corner, some young women gathered around gossiping and an old frail woman behind the desk. Feeling as if all eyes were on him, Squall made his way to the desk and asked for a room. The lady nodded and handed him a rusty key, then pointed to a staircase. Squall nodded in thanks and headed upstairs. He was relieved at the site of a bed, and lay down for a few hours rest.

When he woke up, it was dusk, almost time for him to continue his journey. But he needed energy, at least he would go downstairs, have some bread, some water to sustain him and then head off. He saw when he went downstairs that nothing had changed, it was the same people sitting there.

"Sleep well, young man?" The old lady asked.

"Yes, thank you." Squall answered cautiously "Could I perhaps have some bread and water before I head off again?"

"Of course you can." The old lady called to one of the women from the group around the table, who headed into a side room, which judging from the heat he could feel radiating from it, he judged was a kitchen. He sat down at an empty table in the corner and stared down at the old wood the table was carved from. He wondered how he appeared to others at this moment. A few moments later the old lady came to his table carrying a cup of water and some slices of hot bread. She placed it on the table and looked straight at him

"Have this for no p6ment my boy" she said " you must keep up your strength, it's a tough journey your on"

"You're right" Squall muttered "if only you knew how hard"

"well, you definitely need this. But don't take too long, she's waiting for you" The woman gave him a knowing smile before leaving the table. Squall was confused, did she…know him? How could she have know about Rinoa? It was a strange experience to him,, but he ate quickly and tried not to dwell on it, knowing he needed to move on. It was just as he was preparing to leave that he heard a horse approaching the inn. He thought nothing of it, until the door burst open and in came one of Caraways soldiers.

"I knew I'd find you" he hissed at Squall. But instead of going straight for him, he grabbed one of the children from the nearby table and held his sword to the young boys neck "Give yourself up you renegade, or I'll kill everyone"

Squall had no intention of giving himself up, but nor did he have any intention of letting innocent people die. He was obviously unarmed but he scanned the room trying to come up with a plan, while he could hear the group of young woman screaming and the mother wailing for the soldier to let her child go. In one fluid movement, Squall ran over to the table were the group of men had been and grabbed a knife one had been sawing at a piece of meat with. With the precision he had honed in the army, he through the knife at the soldier, the blade sticking in his solider, causing him to drop his sword and fall to the floor. The child ran back to its crying mother and Squall rushed to pick up the soldiers sword.

Obviously as equally trained as Squall, the soldier even from his injured state on the ground managed to trip Squall, who stumbled backwards into a table, luckily still gripping the sword. The soldier had pulled himself up and charged at him, however Squall managed to raise the sword just in time the soldier running into the blade. Squall looked around, expecting hatred for the trouble he had caused, but there were looks of respect and gratitude on peoples face. "Darn that vile King Caraway" the old lady muttered "But you should be on your way my boy"

"Thank you," squall said "For everything"

He mounted the horse the solider had arrived on, and headed for his destination with renewed determination. It was only a few more hours before he saw the outline of the castle looming in the distance. He rode faster and faster, slipping around to the back of the castle, hoping to find a way n. He left his horse in the woods at the back and quietly made his way to the back exit. He was amazed when he made it just a few inches from the large bolted door. He had made it. Or so he thought. As he took a step closer, a voice said "Stop right there".


	28. Sunset

**A/N: Another chapter! Sorry it took so long, things are just constantly keeping me away from writing, but now i really want to work on this story. We are nearing the end, and now have just this and 2 more chapters before the story ends. I have had many inspirations to write this chapter (pumpkin!) and here it is. I will definately update the next 2 quickly. Please read and let me know what you think. thank you all x**

"Stop Right There"

And Squall did; he froze, stopped still. It was not in obedience to the voice though, more due to that fact he knew he had been caught, and caught so close to achieving what he wanted more than anything.

Within the split second of hearing it Squall reached for his gun blade, and drawing the strength from behind his fatigue he spun around, pulled the weapon to the air and placed the tip of it to the neck of owner of the voice.

"Pleasant as ever I see, Squall." Irvine said, his face carrying a surprising amount of cynical amusement for someone with a blade aimed at their throat.

Squall's tension was replaced by a certain amount of relief. He immediately dropped his weapon "Irvine! I am sorry, I assumed it was…"

"I know" Irvine said without Squall finishing the sentence.

"I thought you would have returned to Dollet by now"

"Well, Caraway tried to have me forcibly escorted there , which means he was definitely up to something."

" So you returned to see what it was? How did you escape his minions."

"His guards, Squall, are just guards. They are vicious like him, but they are just guards, unlike you they do not pursue their duty to such an extreme. They are guards, and I am a Prince."

Squall knew exactly what Irvine meant, even from his somewhat Sketchy explanation. They were just doing their job, and to them their job was probably not worth disobeying or harming a Prince

"Were's Caraway now?" Squall asked, eager to get Rinoa and get out of there.

"Inside with that insidious right hand man of his."

"Do you know were Rinoa is, is she here too?"

Irvine looked to the ground, and then to the side avoiding Squalls eye.

"She is" he responded slowly "But…."

Squalls heartbeat seemed so loud that he thought Irvine could probably hear it as clearly as he could. Was Rinoa dead? Was that going to be the end of the sentence that Irvine had left unfinished?

"But what?" Squall echoed. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to know or not, but the tension of not knowing was killing him.

"It is not good Squall They were so brutal, so violent."

"Is she alive?" Squall asked bluntly, finally overwhelmed by his need to know.

"Yes, she's alive, though she's badly hurt…perhaps it would be better for you to go and see her, rather than have me explain"

Squall said nothing, and just nodded in acknowledgement of Irvine's decision.

Glancing around suspiciously first, Irvine headed for the heavy bolted back entrance and pulled the door open. He peered inside first to check there was nobody there.  
"Clear" he muttered to Squall and he made his way into the castle, Squall following closely.

For some reason being back in the castle gave Squall a bizarre feeling. So much had taken place there, probably the most significant events of his whole life, and yet this would likely be the last time he was in there.

"The basement should be our first destination I believe." Irvine said , cautiously leading the way. For some reason, the castle seemed empty. Irvine had said Caraway and Seifer were inside, but everything was deathly quiet and none of Caraway's guards seemed to be around. Squall and Irvine reached the basement door without being spotted.

"That was lucky" Squall muttered.

"Well, do not jinx it, Squall, there may be guards in the basement."

Squall knew this was true. Caraway may well have Rinoa under guard. He hoped not; he hoped Caraway had assume he had driven Squall away on the run and Irvine back to Dollet.

Realising if they were there, the guards would be willing to put up a fight, Squall offered to enter the basement first, but Irvine declined the offer, his point being the guards would have a less hostile reaction to him than Squall.

In the second stroke of luck they had encountered perhaps in the whole time they had known each other, Irvine and Squall found the basement was silent and empty. Darkness covered the whole room, but Squall could vaguely make out the outline of someone lying still in the corner.

Irvine retreated a few steps back to the corridor they had came from. Squall panicked for a second, was he backing out on him? But everything became e clear when Irvine returned carefully holding one of the candles that had lined the hallways of the castle. He carefully steered the flame to the candles mounted on the walls and the room flickered with an orange light. It was then that Squall was able to see for sure that that still figure in the corner was Rinoa.

"Rinoa!" he called out, running down the stairs as fast as he could. He knelt down in the corner and took her delicate body in his arms. But when he saw what he had done to her he felt like he wanted to be sick. Her face was badly bruised, covered in blood and cuts, her neck was marked with what looked like the imprints left by somebody's hands and her pulse was weak. Even her dress was covered in blood and Squall was almost glad he couldn't see the damage it concealed. Caraway had always been sick, but he'd gone to far this time. Rinoa was his daughter, and she was a Princess, and yet, Squall knew Caraway would get away with it. He was unhinged, psychopathic and yet he was allowed to rule an Empire, perhaps the greatest one in the world.

"I'll kill him" Squall muttered t himself, though apparently loud enough that Irvine heard him.

"No, you will not. This is not about Caraway, revenge against such a man is tempting, but you have to get yourself and Rinoa out of here."

Squall knew he was right, they needed to escape more than he needed to take revenge against Caraway.

He had to wake Rinoa up so they could get out of there.

He shook her gently. "Rinoa, wake up, I have to get you away from here".

After getting no response he shook her again this time with a little more force. She began to Shift in his arms and then her eyes opened slowly.

"S-Squall?" She said, her voice barely there.

"It is. I am here Rinoa." he said holding her to him.

"You…you came back for me. You should have run" she said weakly

"I never intended to leave without you. The question is, are you going to run with me?"

"Of course"

"You have to think this through. If we run, you have to leave it all behind, Your kingdom, your title, everything, we have to disappear."

"I've never wanted anything more. I never asked for this life Squall, I never asked for a title, I never asked for power. All I ever wanted was to be with you."

"I love you Rinoa"

"I love you too" Rinoa gasped, a smile breaking out on her face despite her pain.

"I am truly happy for you too" Irvine said. "Though I believe we should be getting out of here"

Squall nodded, he knew Irvine was right, this was not the time or the place.

He stood up and helped Rinoa to her feet, but the moment she stood, she doubled over with pain and fell to the ground again.

"I..I can not do it Squall" she said, breaking into tears. Thanks to Caraway, Rinoa was even to weak to walk.

Squall leaned down to the floor and scooped her up into his arms. He was determined to get her out of there if he had to carry her half way across the world.

Irvine lead the way out of the castle, while Squall carried Rinoa in his amrs. She seemed to have drifted into unconsciousness again though Squall could hear her gentle breaths, so did not allow himself to become too concerned.

Squall, Rinoa and Irvine made their way to the stable which from a few feet away they could see was guarded by one man who looked like he didn't care too much.

"An obstacle" Irvine muttered to himself. But for once it seemed lady luck was on there side when another voice sounded, calling somebody's name. Obviously it was the guards as he shouted in response and then headed to were the voice had come from.

After waiting a few moments until the guard was distant enough, the three of them headed in to the stable and untied 2 of the horses.

They quickly lead them into the forested area away from the castle before mounting them. Squall sat Rinoa on his knee, which made it some what difficult to ride the horse, but Squall was an expert, so he pulled it off. A fair distance away from the castle the two men stopped there horses still next to each other and looked out to the distance. The sun was setting now, the open space around them bathed in it's orangey light. It was a moment of majestic beauty. But to Squall it as more significant than that. Like somehow, the sun was setting on that part of his life.

Squall and Irvine stood down form there horses, and Squall lay Rinoa gently against a nearby tree.

"What will you do now?" Irvine asked Squall as he looked out at the sunset.

" I wish I knew" Squall said quietly.

"It will not be easy, then I suppose love never is."

"Do you suppose they will search for her?"

"For a little while. Caraway will no doubt search for her for the show, project the image of the caring father, but I doubt he will look far. He never cared for her. Though do not get complacent, run as far as you can."

"I was thinking of heading towards Trabia"

Irvine nodded "A fine choice. I would offer you sanctuary in Dollet, though I believe Caraways men will pay me a visit there."

"I do not know how to thank you, or to apologise for the trouble this has caused you"

"there is no need. I entered Rinoa's life for my own reasons, my own goals. That was selfish, I was rather selfish my whole life. I feel now I have finally made up for my ways. I should be thanking you"

Squall bowed humbly "Thank you, prince Irvine"

Irvine let out a warm-hearted laugh "I have never known you to bow to royalty Squall"

"I do not bow to you as a Prince, I bow to you as my friend."

"Squall" Rinoa said weakly "Irvine?"

"Princess, how are you feeling?" Irvine asked.

"I have been better, but I am free from my old life now"

Squall helped Rinoa to her feet and she leant her weight against him. " We're are we headed Squall?"

"Trabia, my princess"

"And I will return to Dollet." Irvine said "I believe, my dearest friends, this is were we shall part ways. Though I prey it not be forever"

"We will meet again." Rinoa said "Thank you, Irvine, none of this would be possible without you. You saved us both."

"It was my pleasure. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together."

Rinoa gave Irvine a grateful hug, while he and Squall shook hands. A formal gesture, but they spoke with a breif moment of eye contact, they both knew how grateful Squall was.

"well, to the beautiful Princess and her daring escort, I bid farewell" Irvine gave a respectful nod, before mounting his horse and riding into the distance.

Squall and Rinoa silently watched him until he rode so far away he disappeared from view.

"Are you ready to go?" Squall asked softly. "I can not promise anything to you except my love, are you sure you ant to leave your old life behind?"

Rinoa glanced behind them to the barely visible outline of the castle. "My life is with you , Squall. I am ready to go"

"Then nothing is stopping us" Squall took her hand and helped her onto the horse and they rode together, leaving the castle, leaving their old life, leaving the trouble and the torment behind them. They were finally together, finally free. Neither one was certain what would happen from that point onwards, but whatever it was, it was a new start for them The sun had well and truly set on the previous chapter of their lives, the chapter written by circumstance, by war, by cruelty and secrets. It was time for them to write their own future. Together.

**Thank you very much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it, and please leave me your thoughts and comments. 2 more chapters coming soon, keep reading !**


End file.
